TRL's Intervention 2: The Chamber of Secrets
by Zorina Black
Summary: After finishing the first book, Harry, Sirius, Remus, the Tonks family, the Weasley family, Hagrid, Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape venture on the second book, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. With the twins cracking jokes, Sirius and Snape at each other's throats and Mrs Weasley fussing over Harry's well-being, follow them as they find out what happened!
1. Chapter 1: The Worst Birthday

**Author's note****: As promised, here's the sequel to TRL's Intervention! Sorry it took so long but I didn't know how to make it a good chapter! Hopefully, I managed to do it! Now that they're done with the first book, Harry and the others venture on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! How will everyone react? **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

After so many years living with the Dursleys, Harry Potter had become an early bird. He would always wake up early. The morning after reading about his first year at Hogwarts was no exception either.

Harry Potter was very proud of his habit of waking up early but his pride was crushed when he arrived in the kitchen that morning. He'd left his room where Neville and Ron were still asleep and he'd passed in front of the other rooms. He had heard no sound so he'd assumed everyone was still asleep. When he got to the kitchen, however, his professors and Sirius were already sipping tea, discussing the latest news on the Daily Prophet... actually no, Mrs Weasley and Mrs Tonks were making breakfast and discussing the news with Professor McGonagall while Sirius and Snape glared at each other and Lupin absent-mindedly stirred his tea. He seemed too sleepy to acknowledge Harry's arrival, not until Mrs Weasley beamed at the boy and ushered him to take a seat at the table.

"Good morning, Professor Lupin," Harry greeted his father's friend with a smile, "You seem very tired. Is the full moon soon?"

"No," Lupin answered frowning at Sirius and Snape who had inadvertently reached for the same piece of toast and were now glaring, each daring the other to claim the toast as his own, "Last night, those two idiots were so worried about being hexed during the night that they kept me awake until three in the morning when I gave up and Stunned them both."

Harry noticed that both Sirius and Snape sported blood-shot eyes.

"It will do us no good to spend the night awake," Professor McGonagall reprimanded both men, "You have to think about using your time better!"

"That's true!" came Tonks's voice from the door-frame. The young Auror covered her mouth with one hand to suppress a yawn and waved at the others with the other. "Who knew that reading a novel could be so demanding!"

"Dora, dear, change your hair, you're ghastly in acid green!" Mrs Tonks' voice interrupted them.

Tonks concentrate for half of a second before her hair turned bubble-gum pink again. "Much better, dear," her mother beamed.

"Thanks, Mum," Tonks yawned as she sat next to Harry, "Wotcher, Harry!"

While Harry went through his breakfast, the others came downstairs and joined them for the morning meal. The adults were starting to fret that they would start the reading too late so Ron, Neville, Ginny and Hermione had to wolf down their meal while Fred and George were forced to do the dishes by their mother for scaring Percy so much with one of their fake wands that he'd almost choked on his toast.

However, Professor Dumbledore was still nowhere to be seen and Harry was about to ask where he was when the headmaster Apparated, accompanied by a blond girl with pale blue eyes that eyed them all with a dreamy expression.

"For all those who don't know already, this is Miss Luna Lovegood," Dumbledore explained cheerfully, "She will be joining us for the rest of the reading!"

"Welcome to our home, dear!" Mrs Tonks immediately greeted the girl.

"Hello, Luna!" Ginny said, "Come, seat here!"

"Hello, Ginny," the girl smiled dreamily and obeyed. "Are you having good holidays?"

"I can't complain!" Ginny grinned, "How are you?"

"Very fine."

"Luna is in my year at Hogwarts, in Ravenclaw," Ginny explained to her friends, "Luna, this is Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter and my brothers, Ron, Fred, George, Percy, Bill and Charlie."

"Nice to meet you all," Luna greeted everyone politely.

Mr and Mrs Weasley, Sirius, Tonks and her parents introduced themselves. The teachers, including Lupin, who, although he had resigned last June, had been Luna's professor for a year, obviously didn't need to.

Harry eyed his godfather curiously. No one of the adults seemed shocked by Dumbledore's surprise. "Did you know that Luna was coming?"

"We found a postscript in the letter TRL wrote when we put those books away, last night," Mrs Weasley explained.

"TRL meant to have Miss Lovegood attend the readings as well," Sirius went on, "So she will stay with us until we're done."

"Please," Luna said politely, "Luna will do just fine," she eyed Sirius with her dreamy expression, showing only mild curiosity at being in the presence of the notorious Sirius Black, "Professor Dumbledore explained that you're really innocent. It's very unfortunate what happened to you."

"Why, that's very kind of you, Luna!" Sirius replied with a smile.

"Why don't you come with me, dear? I'll show you where you can put your things," Mrs Tonks told Luna, "You'll be sharing the room with Hermione and Ginny, Dora will move in another room with Minerva."

While Andromeda showed Luna her room, everyone else sat in the living room, which the Tonkses had already provided with comfortable armchairs for each person attending the readings. The girls were sharing a couch and Hermione and Ginny left room for Luna to sit.

When, five minutes later, Luna and Mrs Tonks came downstairs and joined the others, Professor Dumbledore claimed the right to start reading this second book and picked it up from the perfect pile on the coffee table.

He read aloud the title, _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_.

"_That_ Chamber of Secrets!?" asked Sirius, who had been in Azkaban at the time and hadn't heard anything about his godson's adventures during his second year.

"How many do you know?" Snape retorted nastily.

From his armchair next to Sirius, Lupin groaned, hiding his face with his hand.

Ron, who sat between Harry and Neville, sighed deeply. "This one is going to be a _looong_ reading!"

— **CHAPTER ONE —**

**The Worst Birthday**

"Well, my thirteenth birthday was even worse but yeah, that one was pretty awful too!"

**Not for the first time, an argument had broken out over breakfast at number four, Privet Drive. **

"Why this time?" Tonks asked rolling her eyes in frustration.

**Mr Vernon Dursley had been woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud, hooting noise from his nephew Harry's room.**

"I guess I can justify him for being upset about that..." Mr Weasley said, "No one likes to be woken early!"

"I agree with you, Mr Weasley," Harry said, "I wouldn't have argued either if not for the reason of the noise!"

'**Third time this week!' he roared across the table. 'If you can't control that owl, it'll have to go!'**

"It's about Hedwig?" Hermione asked.

**Harry tried, yet again, to explain.**

'**She's bored,' he said. 'She's used to flying around outside. If I could just let her out at night ...'**

"They didn't let you let her out?!" everyone shrieked in disbelief.

"That's animal abuse!" Hermione cried, "You should have reported this to Animal Control!"

"I agree that this is obscene, Hermione, but if he had reported it he would have had to explain why his pet was an owl!" Tonks said.

"Oh!" Hermione gasped, "I hadn't thought about that!"

'**Do I look stupid?' snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy moustache. **

"Er – no, from the description I'd say completely off your rocker." Sirius told Harry.

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Snape hissed.

Lupin rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Severus!" Sirius snapped.

"No, you both shut up!" Lupin exploded, "You've given me a headache!"

'**I know what'll happen if that owl's let out.'**

"What will happen?" Fred asked George.

"Hedwig will fly!" George answered.

"It's amazing!" Fred exclaimed with wide eyes.

"I know!" George cried. "A owl? Flying? It's unheard of!"

Sirius even forgot his argument with Snape and laughed.

**He exchanged dark looks with his wife, Petunia.**

"I suppose that's the only look you can manage when looking at Petunia..." Snape muttered to himself.

Sirius heard his comment and gaped at him as if looking at something he'd never seen before.

Snape was just as shocked when he met Sirius's eyes and Black nodded at him approvingly.

"Respect!" was the only word that came out of Sirius's mouth and was enough to shock the rest of the room, including Dumbledore.

**Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys' son, Dudley.**

"Yuck!" Ginny and Hermione gasped, disgusted.

"That's very rude." Luna Lovegood said in her dreamy voice.

"That's down right disgusting!" Hermione retorted.

Mrs Weasley, Mrs Tonks and Professor McGonagall exchanged long dark looks. They just needed half an hour with that boy and then he'd know better than to act like this!

'**I want more bacon.'**

'**There's more in the frying pan, sweetums,' said Aunt Petunia, turning misty eyes on her massive son. 'We must feed you up while we've got the chance ... **

"Huh, yeah!" Tonks snorted derisively. "That's exactly what you need to do!"

**I don't like the sound of that school food ...'**

'**Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings,' said Uncle Vernon heartily. 'Dudley gets enough, don't you, son?'**

"Is anyone as worried as I am that there actually is a school called Smeltings?" Charlie asked.

**Dudley, who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the kitchen chair, grinned and turned to Harry. **

"Are they really so oblivious to the damage they've done to that poor boy?" Mrs Tonks asked Harry.

"Yes." Harry answered decidedly.

'**Pass the frying pan.'**

'**You've forgotten the magic word,' said Harry irritably.**

"Ah!" Harry had forgotten about this particular detail.

**The effect of this simple sentence on the rest of the family was incredible: Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen; Mrs Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.**

"What have you said that's so bad?" Sirius asked his godson. "Is it because you said it irritably?"

'**I meant "please"!' said Harry quickly. 'I didn't mean –'**

"Huh?" Lupin asked, "Why do you have to explain what you meant?"

Harry blushed, embarrassed. The situation with his relatives was so ridiculous that no one understood that they didn't want him even mention the word 'magic'.

'**WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU,' thundered his uncle, spraying spit over the table, 'ABOUT SAYING THE M WORD IN OUR HOUSE?'**

"The M word?" Mrs Weasley looked astonished, "Does he mean 'magic'?"

'**But I –'**

'**HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!' roared Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his fist.**

"When did you threaten Dudley?" Ron asked.

'**I just –'**

'**I WARNED YOU! I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!'**

"Again with the abnormality thing?" Bill asked, exasperated.

"I'm afraid it will be a constant during these readings," Dumbledore said evenly, "Harry does spend his holidays with his family, after all –"

Harry's cheeks flared with anger. He was usually calm, so it was even more shocking to see him so upset.

"The Dursleys are not my family!" he cried fiercely, "You all are!"

Silence followed that heart-felt declaration. Everyone looked at each other rather susprised that he'd actually said something like that...

"Aw, Harry!" the women cooed, including, Harry was horrified to notice, Professor McGonagall. He was so used to see her sporting a stern expression that seeing her looking at him with such affection was unique. From his place, Sirius grinned at his godson, a grin that clearly told Harry that he thought the same of him.

**Harry stared from his purple-faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet.**

"'Trying'?" Fred asked his twin, unable to stay serious even after Harry's abrupt outburst.

"I know, dear brother, it sounds like a difficult task,"

"They are still oblivious to the damage they've done?" Mrs Tonks asked, incredulously.

No one bothered to answer such a rhetorical question.

'**All right,' said Harry, 'all right ...'**

**Uncle Vernon sat back down, breathing like a winded rhinoceros and watching Harry closely out of the corners of his small, sharp eyes.**

**Ever since Harry had come home for the summer holidays, Uncle Vernon had been treating him like a bomb that might go off at any moment, because Harry wasn't a normal boy. **

"That's true," Fred told George, "Harry's not normal even by wizard standards."

"You are very wise, my brother."

**As a matter of fact, he was as not normal as it is possible to be.**

"And thank Merlin you're not, dear!" Mrs Weasley said fiercely, "If being 'normal' means being like those ridiculous Muggles, thank Merlin you're not normal!"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, smiling at Harry, "You're an amazing young man!"

**Harry Potter was a wizard – a wizard fresh from his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And if the Dursleys were unhappy to have him back for the holidays, it was nothing to how Harry felt.**

**He missed Hogwarts so much it was like having a constant stomach-ache. **

"I hear you, Harry," Sirius said softly, "That's how I felt when I went back to my parents' house for the holidays..."

Harry knew very well the sad expression on his godfather's face. It was the same he'd seen so often on his own face as he looked into the mirror back at the Dursleys. For some reasons, he felt as if Sirius was the only one who completely understood the tragedy of living with a family that hates you and that you hate back.

**He missed the castle, with its secret passageways and ghosts, his lessons (though perhaps not Snape, the Potions master), **

"I like the 'perhaps', Harry." Lupin said, smiling.

"The feeling's mutual, Potter." Snape sneered.

**the post arriving by owl, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in his four-poster bed in the tower dormitory, visiting the gamekeeper, Hagrid, in his cabin in the grounds next to the Forbidden Forest **

"That' one of the wors things about the summer!" Hagrid grinned at Harry, "Havin' you three comin' and spouting odd theories!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione beamed at him.

**and, especially, Quidditch, the most popular sport in the wizarding world (six tall goalposts, four flying balls and fourteen players on broomsticks).**

**All Harry's spell-books, his wand, robes, cauldron and top-of-the-range Nimbus Two Thousand broomstick had been locked in a cupboard under the stairs by Uncle Vernon the instant Harry had come home. **

"_God!_ Those Muggles!" Tonks exclaimed while the others rolled their eyes.

**What did the Dursleys care if Harry lost his place in the house Quidditch team because he hadn't practised all summer? **

"Nothing," Professor McGonagall said, "But you wouldn't be able to do that even if they didn't do that, because you live in a Muggle suburb."

"Nonetheless, Minerva," Andromeda answered, "Locking his things in a cupboard is still a horrible thing to do!"

"Indeed!" Mrs Weasley put in briskly.

**What was it to the Dursleys if Harry went back to school without any of his homework done? **

"Once again, nothing, also I do not think anyone would believe it if you said that your relatives are so ridiculous!" said Percy, who hadn't talked for a while, astonishing everyone by making his remark sound like a joke.

"Personally, I wouldn't excuse you," Snape said.

"Why are you so spiteful?" Sirius growled.

Lupin exploded. "Ok, that's enough!" he cried, jumping from his chair, "If I hear another stupid word coming out of the mouth of one of you, I'm hexing you! Yes, you too, Severus!"

"I was perfectly polite..."

Sirius fell to the floor when Lupin elbowed him.

"Please, stop acting childish, everyone," Dumbledore reprimanded gently.

**The Dursleys were what wizards called Muggles (not a drop of magical blood in their veins) and as far as they were concerned, having a wizard in the family was a matter of deepest shame. **

"You are a matter of deepest shame!" Ginny cried and Harry smiled at her, making her blush.

**Uncle Vernon had even padlocked Harry's owl, Hedwig, inside her cage, to stop her carrying messages to anyone in the wizarding world.**

"Once again, that's ridiculous and cruel to animals!" Mrs Weasley said briskly.

**Harry looked nothing like the rest of the family. **

"Thank Merlin for that!" said Ron, making everyone who'd met the Dursleys nod in agreement.

**Uncle Vernon was large and neckless, with an enormous black moustache; Aunt Petunia was horse-faced and bony; Dudley was blond, pink and porky. Harry, on the other hand, was small and skinny, with brilliant green eyes and jet-black hair that was always untidy. He wore round glasses, and on his forehead was a thin, lightning-shaped scar.**

**It was this scar that made Harry so particularly unusual, even for a wizard. This scar was the only hint of Harry's very mysterious past, of the reason he had been left on the Dursleys' doorstep eleven years before.**

Harry didn't say anything. He was still cursing Voldemort for forcing him to put up with the Dursleys by killing his parents. Not only had Voldemort caused the great, lingering sense of loss and pain that came with being an orphan but, had he not killed Lily and James Potter, Dumbledore wouldn't have felt Harry needed to stay with Aunt Petunia.

**At the age of one, Harry had somehow survived a curse from the greatest dark sorcerer of all time, Lord Voldemort, whose name most witches and wizards still feared to speak. Harry's parents had died in Voldemort's attack, but Harry had escaped with his lightning scar, and somehow – nobody understood why – Voldemort's powers had been destroyed the instant he had failed to kill Harry.**

Harry thought Dumbledore had paused but immediately the headmaster went on. Maybe he was wrong...

**So Harry had been brought up by his dead mother's sister and her husband. **

"I'm still surprised that they are sisters!" Andromeda said, "I've met Lily only a couple of times but her sister doesn't seem to have anything to do with her!"

"That's because she doesn't." Snape said firmly.

Harry was glad Snape had stopped hiding his affection for Lily. He was very interested in knowing more about his mother and maybe her childhood friend could help him with that. Even though he didn't think he could ever like Snape, as the Potions Master was clearly a difficult person if Professor Lupin hadn't managed to get through him, Harry hoped to bond enough with Snape to have him tell him something about his mother.

**He had spent ten years with the Dursleys, never understanding why he kept making odd things happen without meaning to, believing the Dursleys' story that he had got his scar in the car crash which had killed his parents.**

"That's a scandal!" Professor McGonagall hissed much like the cat she turned into, "A true scandal!"

**And then, exactly a year ago, Hogwarts had written to Harry, and the whole story had come out. Harry had taken up his place at wizard school, where he and his scar were famous ... **

"That I do not miss..." Harry muttered,

**but now the school year was over, and he was back with the Dursleys for the summer, back to being treated like a dog that had rolled in something smelly. **

"No," Tonks said, wrinkling her nose as if to think about how wrong it was, "No, Harry, some people would find it cute!"

"Dogs are cute!" Sirius said fiercely.

"Not when they break your leg in an attempt to take your rat."

"Still sorry, Ron."

"Forget it," said Ron, "It's okay."

Sirius and Ron stared back at the others until they surrendered to the fact that they weren't going to say anything.

**The Dursleys hadn't even remembered that today happened to be Harry's twelfth birthday. Of course, his hopes hadn't been high; they'd never given him a proper present, let alone a cake – but to ignore it completely … **

"They're unbelievable!" Mrs Weasley cried.

**At that moment, Uncle Vernon cleared his throat importantly and said, 'Now, as we all know, today is a very important day.'**

"What's happening!?" Fred gasped in shock.

**Harry looked up, hardly daring to believe it.**

Everyone did just the same. Even Andromeda, who was heading towards the kitchen to bring some snacks to her guests.

'**This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career,' said Uncle Vernon.**

**Harry went back to his toast. Of course, he thought bitterly, Uncle Vernon was talking about the stupid dinner party. He'd been talking of nothing else for a fortnight.**

"How can you be so boring?" George asked Fred.

"I really do not have an answer for you, Forge."

**Some rich builder and his wife were coming to dinner and Uncle Vernon was hoping to get a huge order from him (Uncle Vernon's company made drills).**

"By the way, no one has explained what a drill is!" Mr Weasley said, causing his wife to roll her eyes.

"I think I have one here, somewhere, Arthur," Ted Tonks said, "I'll show you later."

'**I think we should run through the schedule one more time,' said Uncle Vernon. **

"Schedule?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, wait!" Harry gasped, a huge grin brightening his face at the memory, "I remember this! Listen carefully, it was hilarious!"

'**We should all be in position at eight o'clock. Petunia, you will be –?'**

'**In the lounge,' said Aunt Petunia promptly, 'waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.'**

"Graciously?" Snape hissed, "That woman cannot do anything graciously!"

"Neither can you, Severus."

"Sirius, I swear I will hex you..." Lupin growled.

Harry was looking at Snape. "You really do hate Aunt Petunia, don't you?"

"Indeed."

'**Good, good. And Dudley?'**

'**I'll be waiting to open the door.' Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. 'May I take your coats, Mr and Mrs Mason?'**

'**They'll love him!' cried Aunt Petunia rapturously.**

Everyone laughed, immediately getting what Harry had meant. Even Snape cracked a smile and was glad that everyone was so busy laughing that they didn't notice.

'**Excellent, Dudley,' said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry. 'And you?'**

'**I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there,' said Harry tonelessly.**

"That went well." Ron told his best friend sarcastically, remembering what Harry had told him about that being the night Dobby the house elf had made an appearance.

'**Exactly,' said Uncle Vernon nastily. 'I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them drinks. At eight fifteen –'**

"Did they really go so by the minute?"

"Yes."

'**I'll announce dinner,' said Aunt Petunia.**

'**And Dudley, you'll say –'**

'**May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs Mason?' said Dudley, offering his fat arm to an invisible woman.**

'**My perfect little gentleman!' sniffed Aunt Petunia.**

'**And you?' said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry.**

'**I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there,' said Harry dully.**

'**Precisely. Now, we should aim to get in a few good compliments at dinner. Petunia, any ideas?'**

'**Vernon tells me you're a wonderful golfer, Mr Mason … Do tell me where you bought your dress, Mrs Mason ...'**

'**Perfect ... Dudley?'**

'**How about: "We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr Mason, and I wrote about you."'**

**This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. **

And for everyone else. Hermione was crying because she was laughing so hard and Ginny had hidden her face in her hands to try and stop laughing. Even Luna, who seemed so dreamily composed, was laughing hard.

**Aunt Petunia burst into tears and hugged her son, while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn't see him laughing. **

A new stream of laughter filled the room as Mrs Weasley's high-pitched laugh mixed with Sirius's bark-like laugh. Snape kept his head bowed, hoping no one would notice his shoulders were twitching at his attempts not to laugh as well. He had worked so hard to look so mean and cruel... Petunia wouldn't destroy that.

'**And you, boy?'**

**Harry fought to keep his face straight as he emerged.**

As if people weren't laughing hard enough, Fred and George decided to encourage laughter by giving a visual aid of what was happening in the book.

'**I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there,' he said.**

Everyone slowly sobered at that. It was still upsetting to hear that they could hate so much that Harry was a wizard.

'**Too right you will,' said Uncle Vernon forcefully. 'The Masons don't know anything about you and it's going to stay that way. **

"As if you go around shouting for the world to hear that you're a wizard!" Neville exclaimed in disdain, wiping his tears of laughter with the back of his hands, his shoulders still twitching at the memory of what he'd just heard. It was funny to read in a novel but to think that something like this could happen in real life was another story!

**When dinner's over, you take Mrs Mason back to the lounge for coffee, Petunia, and I'll bring the subject round to drills. With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the News at Ten. We'll be shopping for a holiday home in Majorca this time tomorrow.'**

**Harry couldn't feel too excited about this. He didn't think the Dursleys would like him any better in Majorca than they did in Privet Drive.**

"No one thinks that." Charlie said.

"I wouldn't like them either so no harm done." Harry replied.

'**Right – I'm off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you,' he snarled at Harry, 'you stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning.'**

"Of course, you oaf!" Hermione shrieked. "Don't stay and help your wife!"

**Harry left through the back door. It was a brilliant, sunny day. He crossed the lawn, slumped down on the garden bench and sang under his breath, 'Happy birthday to me … happy birthday to me ...'**

**No cards, no presents, and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed miserably into the hedge. He had never felt so lonely. **

"It looks like my Christmas after I was Sorted in Gryffindor." Sirius said grimly.

**More than anything else at Hogwarts, more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. **

"I'm flattered that we come before Quidditch, Harry!" Hermione joked, showing a playful side of her personality that didn't come out often.

**They, however, didn't seem to be missing him at all. Neither of them had written to him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay.**

Ron snorted. "I still haven't kicked you for even thinking that!"

**Countless times, Harry had been on the point of unlocking Hedwig's cage by magic and sending her to Ron and Hermione with a letter, but it wasn't worth the risk. Underage wizards weren't allowed to use magic outside school. **

"And that's why you need to learn how to use a hairpin!" Fred told George.

"Right you are, Gred!"

**Harry hadn't told the Dursleys this; he knew it was only their terror that he might turn them all into dung beetles that stopped them locking him in the cupboard under the stairs with his wand and broomstick. For the first couple of weeks back, Harry had enjoyed muttering nonsense words under his breath and watching Dudley tearing out of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him. **

"After my first year, I enjoyed scaring Regulus telling him odd, fake stories about the Sorting," Sirius told Harry, "What you do sounds even more fun!"

**But the long silence from Ron and Hermione had made Harry feel so cut off from the magical world that even taunting Dudley had lost its appeal – and now Ron and Hermione had forgotten his birthday.**

This time, Ron actually punched Harry's arm. "_Ron!_" shrieked Mrs Weasley.

**What wouldn't he give now for a message from Hogwarts? From any witch or wizard? He'd almost be glad of a sight of his arch-enemy, Draco Malfoy, just to be sure it hadn't all been a dream …**

"Don't say that, Harry!" Neville cried, "It might come true!"

"I said 'almost'!" Harry retorted, "And it's not me writing!"

**Not that his whole year at Hogwarts had been fun. At the very end of last term, Harry had come face to face with none other than Lord Voldemort himself. **

Sirius looked grim at the very idea that his godson had had to face Voldemort alone because of Dumbledore.

**Voldemort might be a ruin of his former self, but he was still terrifying, still cunning, still determined to regain power. Harry had slipped through Voldemort's clutches for a second time, but it had been a narrow escape, and even now, weeks later, Harry kept waking in the night, drenched in cold sweat, wondering where Voldemort was now, remembering his livid face, his wide, mad eyes …**

Lupin also couldn't help sending a dark look towards the headmaster. Couldn't he at least do something about Harry's nightmares?

**Harry suddenly sat bolt upright on the garden bench. He had been staring absent-mindedly into the hedge – and the hedge was staring back. Two enormous green eyes had appeared among the leaves.**

"Now what?" Ginny exclaimed, "Can't you have a normal life at least at a Muggle place?"

"It's not the place, dear sister," Fred told her, "It's Harry himself!"

**Harry jumped to his feet just as a jeering voice floated across the lawn.**

'**I know what day it is,' sang Dudley, waddling towards him.**

"Ah, yes, that..." Harry had forgotten about his small quarrel with Dudley that day. Dobby's arrival, that night, had shocked him enough for him to manage to get his fat cousin out of his mind.

**The huge eyes blinked and vanished.**

'**What?' said Harry, not taking his eyes off the spot where they had been.**

'**I know what day it is,' Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.**

'**Well done,' said Harry. 'So you've finally learned the days of the week.'**

"Nice!" George complimented.

"You're usually so quiet, Harry, despite all the trouble you get yourself into," said Lupin, smiling, "that it's quite amusing to witness this side of you!"

'**Today's your birthday,' sneered Dudley. 'How come you haven't got any cards? Haven't you even got friends at that freak place?'**

"Oh, please, blow him up like you did your aunt!" Ron pleaded eagerly.

"I heard about that at the Ministry!" Tonks said, "Did you really, Harry?"

"I'm not saying anything because you will hear all about that tomorrow, when we read the third book."

'**Better not let your mum hear you talking about my school,' said Harry coolly.**

**Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom. **

The girls, including the odd Luna Lovegood, wrinkled their noses as if they'd smelled something nasty.

'**Why're you staring at the hedge?' he said suspiciously.**

'**I'm trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire,' said Harry.**

"Sadly, you wouldn't be able to do that without a wand..."

"Thank Merlin he didn't, Mr Weasley!" Professor McGonagall told Ron, "He would've got into great trouble with the Ministry!"

"You're right, Professor," Harry sighed, "That warning was enough for that night!"

"Warning?" Sirius asked.

Harry nodded. "Sorry, I keep forgetting that you were in prison at the time..."

"Lucky you..."

Harry paused, blushing as he realised he'd said something very insensitive. "Well..." he said awkwardly, "it's going to come up soon enough..."

Sirius grinned at him, seeing that Harry's eyes screamed a heart-felt apology.

**Dudley stumbled backwards at once, a look of panic on his fat face. 'You c-can't – Dad told you you're not to do m-magic – he said he'll chuck you out of the house – and you haven't got anywhere else to go – you haven't got any friends to take you –'**

'**Jiggery pokery!' said Harry in a fierce voice. 'Hocus pocus ... squiggly wiggly ...'**

'**MUUUUUUM!' howled Dudley, tripping over his feet as he dashed back towards the house. 'MUUUUM! He's doing you know what!'**

"_Sneak!_"

**Harry paid dearly for his moment of fun. As neither Dudley nor the hedge was in any way hurt, Aunt Petunia knew he hadn't really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn't eat again until he'd finished.**

"How can people be so unpleasant is beyond me!" Hermione said, frowning.

**While Dudley lolled around watching and eating icecreams, Harry cleaned the windows, washed the car, mowed the lawn, trimmed the flowerbeds, pruned and watered the roses and repainted the garden bench. The sun blazed overhead, burning the back of his neck. Harry knew he shouldn't have risen to Dudley's bait, but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been thinking himself … maybe he didn't have any friends at Hogwarts … **

"I'll write to you as well, Harry," Neville said, "I don't want you thinking that you can count only on Ron and Hermione."

"I would enjoy your letters, I'm sure."

'**Wish they could see famous Harry Potter now,' he thought savagely, as he spread manure on the flowerbeds, his back aching, sweat running down his face.**

**It was half past seven in the evening when at last, exhausted, he heard Aunt Petunia calling him. 'Get in here! And walk on the newspaper!'**

No one bothered reiterating that the Dursleys were horrible people. That didn't stop them from exchanging dark looks.

**Harry moved gladly into the shade of the gleaming kitchen. On top of the fridge stood tonight's pudding: a huge mound of whipped cream and sugared violets. A joint of roast pork was sizzling in the oven.**

"By the way, Harry, dear, how is your aunt's cooking?" Mrs Weasley asked, "I always wondered but never asked."

"She's not bad," Harry admitted, "although nothing compared to your cooking!"

Mrs Weasley beamed at him at the praise.

'**Eat quickly! The Masons will be here soon!' snapped Aunt Petunia, pointing to two slices of bread and a lump of cheese on the kitchen table. **

"That's all you got for dinner!?" Mrs Weasley shrieked, her smile vanishing immediately, "No wonder you're so skinny, dear!"

**She was already wearing a salmon-pink cocktail dress.**

Snape, remembering his childhood nemesis, silently had the urge to be sick. Who wore salmon-pink? Only Petunia! She'd always had bad taste in clothing!

**Harry washed his hands and bolted down his pitiful supper. The moment he had finished, Aunt Petunia whisked away his plate. 'Upstairs! Hurry!'**

"You don't treat like this even a badly trained dog!" Andromeda Tonks said indignantly.

**As he passed the door to the living room, Harry caught a glimpse of Uncle Vernon and Dudley in bow-ties and dinner jackets. He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the doorbell rang and Uncle Vernon's furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs. 'Remember, boy – one sound ...'**

**Harry crossed to his bedroom on tiptoe, slipped inside, closed the door and turned to collapse on his bed.**

**The trouble was, there was already someone sitting on it.**

"The chapter's over," Dumbledore announced, "Minerva, would you like to read next?"

McGonagall nodded, taking the book from him. "Of course!"

"Who's in your room?" Neville asked.

"Nothing dangerous." Harry answered Neville while looking straight in his suspicious godfather's eyes.

Tonks used the pause to stretch her back. "For the record, their behaviour is ridiculous because anyone knows that the better you treat a young wizard the less accidental magic he or she will perform!"

"I quite agree, Miss Tonks," Snape said quietly, "But Petunia never wanted anything to do with her sister after she found out Lily was a witch."

"If everything is set, I will begin." McGonagall said.

Everyone nodded, shifting their position to be more comfortable.


	2. Chapter 2: Dobby's Warning

**Author's note****: I was studying for an exam that I have on Thrusday but then I was tired and had a sudden inspiration for this new chapter! Here's chapter two of the sequel to TRL's Intervention! Meet Dobby the House Elf!**

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

**CHAPTER TWO**

McGonagall read.

**Dobby's Warning**

Harry rubbed his forehead with his fingers. The mere mention of Dobby's name gave him a headache. The house elf was nice but he'd caused him lots of trouble.

**Harry managed not to shout out, but it was a close thing.**

**The little creature on the bed had large, bat-like ears and bulging green eyes the size of tennis balls. **

"A house elf?" Sirius asked, "What's a house elf doing in a Muggle suburb?"

Apart from Dumbledore, Fred, George, Ron and Hermione, everyone looked just as confused as Sirius. Not even those who knew all the facts, such as Professor McGonagall, were aware of Dobby's part in the Chamber of Secrets story.

**Harry knew instantly that this was what had been watching him out of the garden hedge that morning.**

**As they stared at each other, Harry heard Dudley's voice from the hall.**

'**May I take your coats, Mr and Mrs Mason?'**

Everyone snorted, momentarily distracted by Dudley's performance. "Right on schedule!" Bill joked.

**The creature slipped off the bed and bowed so low that the end of its long thin nose touched the carpet. Harry noticed that it was wearing what looked like an old pillowcase, with rips for arm and leg holes.**

"That's horrible!" Hermione gasped in shock.

"I know, Hermione dear, but that's what house elves are supposed to wear." Andromeda explained to her.

"Hey, now that I remember, I did inherit Kreacher when my mother died!" Sirius told Andromeda, "Wonder what he's been doing with himself lately! Hopefully he died as well!"

"Sirius, that's a horrible thing to say!" his cousin protested.

"Don't worry, Dromeda, if he's alive, he's hoping I am dead too."

"All the same..."

'**Er – hello,' said Harry nervously.**

'**Harry Potter!' said the creature, in a high-pitched voice Harry was sure would carry down the stairs. **

"That's not good." someone said, but Harry was so concentrated on the reading that he merely acknowledged that it was the voice of a man.

'**So long has Dobby wanted to meet you, sir ... Such an honour it is ...'**

"So his name is Dobby..."

"Sirius, please, shut up."

"You shut up, Remus."

"You both shut up."

"Shut up, Severus!"

"QUIT IT, ALL THREE OF YOU!" Mrs Weasley exploded.

'**Th-thank you,' said Harry, edging along the wall and sinking into his desk chair, next to Hedwig, who was asleep in her large cage. He wanted to ask, 'What are you?' but thought it would sound too rude, **

"I suppose a house elf wouldn't mind..." Andromeda mused, exchanging a look with her cousin who looked just as thoughtful.

**so instead he said, 'Who are you?'**

'**Dobby, sir. Just Dobby. **

"Just Harry has met Just Dobby," Fred told George, "Are you Just George?"

"How dare you, sir!?" George gasped in mock-offence, "I'm Plenty of George!"

**Dobby the house-elf,' said the creature.**

'**Oh – really?' said Harry. ' Er – I don't want to be rude or anything, but – this isn't a great time for me to have a house-elf in my bedroom.'**

**Aunt Petunia's high, false laugh sounded from the living room. **

"As usual." Snape muttered and was thankful that no one heard him.

**The elf hung his head.**

'**Not that I'm not pleased to meet you,' said Harry quickly, 'but, er, is there any particular reason you're here?'**

'**Oh, yes, sir,' said Dobby earnestly. 'Dobby has come to tell you, sir ... it is difficult, sir ... Dobby wonders where to begin ...'**

"Does he take long to get to the point?" Ron asked, "Especially after you've told him that it's not a good time to have a house elf in your house?"

"Do I really need to dignify that with an answer?"

'**Sit down,' said Harry politely, pointing at the bed. **

Harry sighed. "And that's when trouble begins."

**To his horror, the elf burst into tears – very noisy tears. 'S-sit down!' he wailed. 'Never ... never ever ...'**

**Harry thought he heard the voices downstairs falter.**

'**I'm sorry,' he whispered, 'I didn't mean to offend you or anything.'**

Sirius let out a short bark-like laugh. "It's obvious that you've never met a house elf before!"

'**Offend Dobby!' choked the elf. 'Dobby has never been asked to sit down by a wizard – like an equal –'**

"Poor Dobby!" Hermione sighed.

**Harry, trying to say 'Shh!' and look comforting at the same time, ushered Dobby back onto the bed where he sat hiccoughing, looking like a large and very ugly doll. At last he managed to control himself, and sat with his great eyes fixed on Harry in an expression of watery adoration.**

"This is an odd one," Ted Tonks mused, "Wonder whom does he serve..."

'**You can't have met many decent wizards,' **

"Obviously." Ginny agreed. Harry winked at her and had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes when she blushed furiously and looked away. Would she ever feel comfortable around him?

**said Harry, trying to cheer him up.**

**Dobby shook his head. Then, without warning, he leapt up and started banging his head furiously on the window, shouting, 'Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!'**

'**Don't – what are you doing?' Harry hissed, springing up and pulling Dobby back onto the bed. Hedwig had woken up with a particularly loud screech and was beating her wings wildly against the bars of her cage.**

"That's absolutely not good..." Bill told Charlie.

'**Dobby had to punish himself, sir,' said the elf, who had gone slightly cross-eyed. 'Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir ...'**

"That's outrageous!" Hermione gasped again. "He doesn't even have freedom of speech?"

'**Your family?'**

'**The wizard family Dobby serves, sir ... Dobby is a house-elf – bound to serve one house and one family for ever ...'**

"And ever and ever and ever and ever..."

"Sirius, stop."

"Fine."

'**Do they know you're here?' asked Harry curiously.**

**Dobby shuddered.**

'**Oh no, sir, no ... Dobby will have to punish himself most grievously for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this. **

"That's horrible!"

"Hermione, you're being redundant."

"Shut up, Ron!"

"I know this is very upsetting for you, dear," Andromeda said gently to Hermione, "what with you being Muggleborn and all, but that's the way old pureblood wizarding families treat their servants. It's been like this for ever, however wrong it is!"

"But that's slavery!"

"Are you telling me that you think old pureblood families are normal?" Sirius asked Hermione, "I come from an old pureblood family, Hermione. Let me tell you... they're _bonkers_!"

**If they ever knew, sir –'**

'**But won't they notice if you shut your ears in the oven door?'**

'**Dobby doubts it, sir. Dobby is always having to punish himself for something, sir. They lets Dobby get on with it, sir. Sometimes they reminds me to do extra punishments ...'**

"Nonetheless, even in pureblood families, some people are nice to house elves..." Mrs Weasley said.

"That's true," Sirius admitted, "My dear old Mum was an old hag but she was nice to our house elf..."

"You have an house elf?" Harry asked, disbelievingly.

"Sadly, yes."

"Anyway, if Dobby belongs to... let's say... the Malfoys," Andromeda caught Harry's flinch and groaned, "It's the Malfoys, isn't it?"

As her mother rolled her eyes with a pained expression, Tonks looked at Harry, shocked. "Are you telling me that this is little Drakkins' house elf?" Harry, knowing that he'd given them spoilers, nodded and Tonks looked up as if calling for the favour of some kind of deity, "I feel for you, Dobby!"

'**But why don't you leave? Escape?'**

'**A house-elf must be set free, sir. And the family will never set Dobby free ... Dobby will serve the family until he dies, sir ...'**

"It is indeed a sad fate..." Dumbledore commented sadly, "Thankfully, Dobby being treated this way is a rare case..."

**Harry stared.**

'**And I thought I was hard-done-by staying here for another four weeks,' **

"You are hard-done-by, Harry." Ron told him.

**he said. 'This makes the Dursleys sound almost human. **

"I suppose..." Ron agreed.

**Can't anyone help you? Can't I?'**

"Ow!" Fred wailed, "Bad move, Potter, bad move!"

**Almost at once, Harry wished he hadn't spoken. **

"Indeed." Harry agreed with his book-self.

**Dobby dissolved again into wails of gratitude.**

'**Please,' Harry whispered frantically, 'please be quiet. If the Dursleys hear anything, if they know you're here ...'**

'**Harry Potter asks if he can help Dobby ... Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew ...'**

**Harry, who was feeling distinctly hot in the face, said, 'Whatever you've heard about my greatness is a load of rubbish. I'm not even top of my year at Hogwarts, that's Hermione, she –'**

"He's not talking about marks, Harry." Hermione explained, although looking flattered that he complimented her.

"I know that now."

**But he stopped quickly, because thinking about Hermione was painful.**

"How can you even think about us forgetting you?" Hermione exploded, exasperated.

'**Harry Potter is humble and modest,' said Dobby reverently, his orb-like eyes aglow. 'Harry Potter speaks not of his triumph over He Who Must Not Be Named.'**

'**Voldemort?' said Harry.**

**Dobby clapped his hands over his bat ears and moaned, 'Ah, speak not the name, sir! Speak not the name!'**

'**Sorry,' said Harry quickly. 'I know lots of people don't like it – my friend Ron ...'**

**He stopped again. Thinking about Ron was painful, too.**

"Oh, come on!" Ron moaned, "You're being ridiculous, mate!"

"Stop this right now, Ronald!" his mother reprimanded, "Seeing as he hasn't received any letter from either of you all summer, he's bound to think something like that!"

**Dobby leaned towards Harry, his eyes wide as headlamps.**

'**Dobby heard tell,' he said hoarsely, 'that Harry Potter met the Dark Lord for a second time, just weeks ago ... that Harry Potter escaped yet again.'**

**Harry nodded and Dobby's eyes suddenly shone with tears.**

'**Ah, sir,' he gasped, dabbing his face with a corner of the grubby pillowcase he was wearing. 'Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved so many dangers already! **

"Listen, I have no idea what this elf is going on about but he's insane!" Sirius said.

"Wait till you hear what happened that year and then you'll see..." Snape retorted.

"Why?" Sirius asked, forgetting to put in some kind of at least veiled insult.

"We're here to read about it, Sirius, if you have the patience... right, look with whom I'm talking to!"

"Don't start on my recklessness again, Remus."

**But Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even if he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later ... Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts.'**

"And why is that, now?" Tonks asked.

The whole Chamber of Secrets case had been kept quiet by the Ministry and Tonks had been very busy with Auror training so she was bound not to know much about it.

**There was a silence broken only by the chink of knives and forks from downstairs and the distant rumble of Uncle Vernon's voice.**

"So they haven't heard anything, have they?" Luna asked dreamily.

"Yet." Neville corrected her, not really knowing what was going to happen but, from what he could gather from what he'd just heard, knowing that Harry's luck worked in strange ways.

'**W-what?' Harry stammered. 'But I've got to go back – term starts on September the first. It's all that's keeping me going. You don't know what it's like here. I don't belong here. I belong in your world – at Hogwarts.'**

"Right you are, Harry!" Mr Weasley beamed at him.

'**No, no, no,' squeaked Dobby, shaking his head so hard his ears flapped. 'Harry Potter must stay where he is safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts, he will be in mortal danger.'**

"Why?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, Black, you've got a whole book to go through!"

"I'm bound to ask, it looks like I am the only one who doesn't know what's going on, here!"

'**Why?' said Harry in surprise.**

'**There is a plot, Harry Potter. **

"It's a book, Harry Potter, it's obvious that there's a plot." Fred told Harry.

"Don't joke about this, Fred." came Ginny's voice, low and terrible.

Sirius, Remus and the Tonkses didn't know – and didn't dare ask – why Ginny looked so pale and scared.

**A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year,' whispered Dobby, suddenly trembling all over. 'Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!'**

'**What terrible things?' said Harry at once. 'Who's plotting them?'**

**Dobby made a funny choking noise and then banged his head madly against the wall.**

'**All right!' cried Harry, grabbing the elf's arm to stop him. 'You can't say, I understand. But why are you warning me?'**

"Right!" Ted Tonks said, "Why indeed!"

**A sudden, unpleasant thought struck him. 'Hang on – this hasn't got anything to do with Vol— sorry – with You Know Who, has it? You could just shake or nod,' he added hastily, as Dobby's head tilted worryingly close to the wall again. Slowly, Dobby shook his head.**

'**Not – not He Who Must Not Be Named, sir.'**

**But Dobby's eyes were wide and he seemed to be trying to give Harry a hint. **

"Just for the record, Dobby stinks at giving hints."

"What do you mean, Harry?" Remus asked.

"I'm not saying anything else."

**Harry, however, was completely at sea.**

'**He hasn't got a brother, has he?'**

Everyone looked anxiously at Dumbledore, worried at the very idea. Dumbledore smiled. "Voldemort is an only child."

**Dobby shook his head, his eyes wider than ever.**

'**Well then, I can't think who else would have a chance of making horrible things happen at Hogwarts,' said Harry. **

"Really?" Neville asked, "What about any pureblood family powerful enough to try something?"

Harry didn't dare say that Neville's theory was far from being wrong.

'**I mean, there's Dumbledore, for one thing – you know who Dumbledore is, don't you?'**

**Dobby bowed his head.**

'**Albus Dumbledore is the greatest Headmaster Hogwarts has ever had. Dobby knows it, sir. Dobby has heard Dumbledore's powers rival those of He Who Must Not Be Named at the height of his strength. But sir,' Dobby's voice dropped to an urgent whisper, 'there are powers Dumbledore doesn't ... powers no decent wizard ...'**

"I am afraid Dobby is right," Dumbledore said simply at the questioning stares he received from all the others in the room, "Voldemort is indeed very brilliant and uses powers that I would never use."

**And before Harry could stop him, Dobby bounded off the bed, seized Harry's desk lamp and started beating himself around the head with ear-splitting yelps.**

**A sudden silence fell downstairs. Two seconds later Harry, heart thudding madly, heard Uncle Vernon coming into the hall, calling, 'Dudley must have left his television on again, the little tyke!'**

'**Quick! In the wardrobe!' hissed Harry, stuffing Dobby in, shutting the door and flinging himself onto the bed just as the door handle turned.**

'**What – the – devil – are – you – doing?' said Uncle Vernon through gritted teeth, his face horribly close to Harry's. 'You've just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke ... **

"He was making a joke?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Don't worry, he's boring even when he tries."

**one more sound and you'll wish you'd never been born, boy!'**

**He stomped flat-footed from the room.**

**Shaking, Harry let Dobby out of the wardrobe.**

'**See what it's like here?' he said. 'See why I've got to go back to Hogwarts? It's the only place I've got – well, I think I've got friends.'**

'**Friends who don't even write to Harry Potter?' said Dobby slyly.**

"How does he know?" asked Percy, who had been fairly quiet all morning.

'**I expect they've just been – hang on,' said Harry, frowning. 'How do you know my friends haven't been writing to me?'**

**Dobby shuffled his feet.**

'**Harry Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby – Dobby did it for the best ...'**

"What did he do?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

'**Have you been stopping my letters?'**

"Has he?"

"He has. Dobby has an odd way of trying to help me..."

'**Dobby has them here, sir,' said the elf. Stepping nimbly out of Harry's reach, he pulled a thick wad of envelopes from the inside of the pillowcase he was wearing. Harry could make out Hermione's neat writing, **

"Thanks, Harry!"

**Ron's untidy scrawl **

"Who's got an untidy scrawl?"

**and even a scribble that looked as though it was from the Hogwarts gamekeeper, Hagrid.**

Hagrid just laughed it off.

**Dobby blinked anxiously up at Harry.**

'**Harry Potter mustn't be angry ... Dobby hoped ... if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him ... Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir ...'**

"He must have gone through a lot of trouble to help you without any of the Malfoys noticing." McGonagall mused.

**Harry wasn't listening. He made a grab for the letters, but Dobby jumped out of reach.**

'**Harry Potter will have them, sir, if he gives Dobby his word that he will not return to Hogwarts. Ah, sir, this is a danger you must not face! Say you won't go back, sir!'**

"As if he ever would do that!" Ron grinned.

'**No,' said Harry angrily. 'Give me my friends' letters!'**

'**Then Harry Potter leaves Dobby no choice,' said the elf sadly.**

**Before Harry could move, Dobby had darted to the bedroom door, pulled it open – and sprinted down the stairs.**

"Uh-oh!"

Fred and George were the only ones to actually voice what the others were thinking. This was obviously not good. Not good at all!

**Mouth dry, stomach lurching, Harry sprang after him, trying not to make a sound. He jumped the last six stairs, landing cat-like on the hall carpet, looking around for Dobby. From the dining room he heard Uncle Vernon saying, '... tell Petunia that very funny story about those American plumbers, Mr Mason, she's been dying to hear ...'**

**Harry ran up the hall into the kitchen and felt his stomach disappear.**

**Aunt Petunia's masterpiece of a pudding, the mountain of cream and sugared violets, was floating up near the ceiling. On top of a cupboard in the corner crouched Dobby.**

"Oh, dear..." Mrs Weasley sighed. She wouldn't be happy if anything happened to any of her elaborated recipes, so she really wouldn't blame Petunia for getting mad about that, however much she could disapprove of her parenting skills.

'**No,' croaked Harry. 'Please ... they'll kill me ...'**

'**Harry Potter must say he's not going back to school –'**

'**Dobby ... please ...'**

'**Say it, sir ...'**

'**I can't!'**

**Dobby gave him a tragic look. 'Then Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter's own good.'**

**The pudding fell to the floor with a heart-stopping crash. Cream splattered the windows and walls as the dish shattered. With a crack like a whip, Dobby vanished.**

**There were screams from the dining room and Uncle Vernon burst into the kitchen to find Harry, rigid with shock, covered from head to foot in Aunt Petunia's pudding.**

**At first, it looked as though Uncle Vernon would manage to gloss the whole thing over ('Just our nephew – very disturbed – meeting strangers upsets him, so we kept him upstairs ...') He shooed the shocked Masons back into the dining room, promised Harry he would flay him to within an inch of his life when the Masons had left, and handed him a mop. Aunt Petunia dug some ice-cream out of the freezer and Harry, still shaking, started scrubbing the kitchen clean.**

**Uncle Vernon might still have been able to make his deal – if it hadn't been for the owl.**

"Harry, your luck is as bad as your betting skills." Sirius told him.

"I know, by now I've come to grips with getting into trouble for things I don't mean to happen..."

**Aunt Petunia was just handing round a box of after-dinner mints when a huge barn owl swooped through the dining room window, dropped a letter on Mrs Mason's head and swooped out again. Mrs Mason screamed like a banshee and ran from the house, shouting about lunatics.**

**Mr Mason stayed just long enough to tell the Dursleys that his wife was mortally afraid of birds of all shapes and sizes, and to ask whether this was their idea of a joke.**

"Well, Harry, that's bad luck for you and the Masons, but... I can't say they didn't deserve it for all they've done to you!" Tonks said cheerfully, rather in contrast with what book-Harry was feeling.

**Harry stood in the kitchen, clutching the mop for support as Uncle Vernon advanced on him, a demonic glint in his tiny eyes.**

'**Read it!' he hissed evilly, brandishing the letter the owl had delivered. 'Go on – read it!'**

**Harry took it. It did not contain birthday greetings.**

"I had no idea." Hagrid rumbled sarcastically. He'd been very quiet because Harry had related the Mason incident to him but to hear about what had happened first-hand was another thing.

_**Dear Mr Potter,**_

_**We have received intelligence that a Hover Charm was used at your place of residence this evening at twelve minutes past nine.**_

_**As you know, underage wizards are not permitted to perform spells outside school, and further spellwork on your part may lead to expulsion from said school (Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage sorcery, 1875, Paragraph C).**_

_**We would also ask you to remember that any magical activity which risks notice by members of the non-magical community (Muggles) is a serious offence, under section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy.**_

_**Enjoy your holidays!**_

"Really?!" everyone shouted in disbelief.

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**Mafalda Hopkirk**_

_**Improper Use of Magic Office**_

_**Ministry of Magic**_

**Harry looked up from the letter and gulped.**

'**You didn't tell us you weren't allowed to use magic outside school,' said Uncle Vernon, a mad gleam dancing in his eyes. 'Forgot to mention it ... slipped your mind, I dare say ...'**

**He was bearing down on Harry like a great bulldog, all his teeth bared. 'Well, I've got news for you, boy ... I'm locking you up ... **

Sirius started shaking with rage. As a convict, he knew very well how bad it was to be locked up. He couldn't believe that Dursley idiot had gone out of his way with Harry's punishment even with Harry just having received an official warning by the Ministry.

**you're never going back to that school … never ... and if you try and magic yourself out – they'll expel you!'**

**And laughing like a maniac, he dragged Harry back upstairs.**

**Uncle Vernon was as bad as his word. The following morning, he paid a man to fit bars on Harry's window. **

Images of the bars of his cell in Azkaban filled Sirius's mind.

**He himself fitted the cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day.**

Even worse than the bars were the rotten hands of the Dementors pushing the prison's meagre meals. Sirius could actually feel the cold and misery of hundreds, thousands times that horrendous scene had happened during the twelve horrible, unforgettable years he'd spent locked up in Azkaban.

Seeing Sirius's bony hands tighten their grip on the armchair he was sitting onto, Remus glanced at his friend's face and immediately understood that the prison was on his mind. When he touched Sirius's arm in an attempt to comfort him, the others noticed Sirius's distress as well. It was enough for Dumbledore to gesture to McGonagall to stop reading.

"Would you like a moment, Sirius?" he asked gently.

Andromeda immediately took some chocolate and gave it to her cousin.

"It's fine," Sirius said, thanking his cousin with a nod of the head, "Please, don't stop on my account."

**They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock.**

McGonagall indeed paused from the reading after this. Everyone was silent.

Harry didn't know what to say to answer the dark looks on everyone's faces, even Luna's, whom he didn't know very well, and Professor Snape, who had never hidden the fact that he disliked Harry greatly.

Dumbledore was regretting greatly of leaving Harry with the Dursleys. It was true that Harry had arrived at Hogwarts alive and taken care of and that he'd disregarded his misery as a mere consequence of Petunia's resentment of her sister. Dumbledore, however, now regretted greatly not checking on Harry all those years. Was it really worth to have him go through such a childhood just because of his mother's protection? Maybe he could come up with some other way to protect the boy... this room alone was full of trusted people who loved him. He hoped these books could shed light onto a way of helping Sirius Black out of his rather unsettling situation with the law. Clearly Harry's godfather loved him and would make protecting Harry his priority. Hadn't he escaped Azkaban to protect Harry from Pettigrew? Dumbledore knew that Sirius felt so guilty about not taking the role of Secret Keeper that he hadn't thought about clearing his name at all when he'd attempted to find Pettigrew. Sure, Sirius's notorious recklessness made Dumbledore uncertain about his fitness as a parent. However, Sirius was certainly loving and clever enough to understand that in order to protect Harry he would have to be more responsible than he'd been in the past.

That Sirius was upset by what the Dursleys had done to his godson was an understatement. Harry's godfather was absolutely furious but his fury was somewhat mitigated by his own misery as Harry's treatment resembled greatly the one he'd been subjected to by his parents during his childhood first – especially when he contemplated the relationship of Harry and Dudley with his own relationship with his brother Regulus, who'd been adored by his parents – and, later, by the Dementors and Azkaban prison. Add to that the guilt of feeling that he was the cause of Harry's misery – because, had he taken the task of being the Potters' Secret Keeper, James and Lily would be alive today – and maybe, and only maybe someone could have a slight idea of the inner turmoil Sirius Black was experiencing.

Remus Lupin was thinking of how Lily would've treated Dudley like a son had anything happened to Petunia and Vernon. How could her sister be so cruel to Lily's son?

Severus Snape, who was apparently unfazed, thought something along the same lines. He loathed Harry Potter because the boy reminded him not only that Lily had not returned his feelings – which, he had to admit, he had never confessed to her – but that Lily had also married another man, his childhood's tormentor, James Potter, at that. Harry Potter reminded him of the fatal mistake he'd made, when he'd revealed the contents of the prophecy to the Dark Lord thus condemning Lily to certain death. Severus Snape, however, was no stranger to neglect and physical abuse at the hand of his own father and he could never stand for this treatment of children.

The Weasley family, who had witnessed the most Harry's mistreatment at the hands of relatives, was just as shocked as the others. None of them could fathom how could anyone treat someone like that. The children, in particular, had lived in a loving environment and could not consider the very idea that parenting wouldn't imply love. All nine Weasleys unknowingly agreed that it was mere chance that Harry had turned out a fine lad.

The same could be said about Professor McGonagall, Rubeus Hagrid, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom. Professor McGonagall clicked her tongue and glared at Dumbledore, obviously intending to remind him that she'd warned him about the Dursleys that fateful night when the headmaster had left Harry on their doorstep. Hagrid muttered something about 'clearly havin' learnt anythin' from last time' and lost himself in memories of his small, loving father, who'd died when he was just about twelve. Hermione felt the urge to run to her parents and thank them for all they did for her. Luna thought about her mother and about how much she'd loved her when she was still alive. Neville thought of his parents as well. He didn't remember them as nothing but empty shells of human beings but his grandmother would often tell him stories about them, reminding him about how much they loved him, even now that they were insane.

The Tonkses, who didn't know Harry as well as the others, were appalled that anyone would treat a twelve-year-old this way but felt that they had no right to say anything.

Silence filled the room as every person present was lost in his or her thoughts. So lost were they, that when the old grandfather clock announced nine o'clock they all jumped and gasped, reminded that they were not alone here. It was then that McGonagall resumed the reading.

**Three days later, the Dursleys were showing no sign of relenting and Harry couldn't see any way out of his situation.**

**He lay on his bed watching the sun sinking behind the bars on the window and wondered miserably what was going to happen to him.**

**What was the good of magicking himself out of his room if Hogwarts would expel him for doing it? Yet life at Privet Drive had reached an all-time low. Now the Dursleys knew they weren't going to wake up as fruit-bats, he had lost his only weapon. Dobby might have saved Harry from horrible happenings at Hogwarts, but the way things were going, he'd probably starve to death anyway.**

"Dobby clearly hadn't thought about that." said George in a bitter tone that really did not suit him.

Feeling guilty that they were so upset because of him, Harry hoped that everyone would soon forget about what they'd just read.

**The cat-flap rattled and Aunt Petunia's hand appeared, pushing a bowl of tinned soup into the room. Harry, whose insides were aching with hunger, jumped off his bed and seized it. The soup was stone cold, but he drank half of it in one gulp. Then he crossed the room to Hedwig's cage and tipped the soggy vegetables at the bottom of the bowl into her empty food tray. She ruffled her feathers and gave him a look of deep disgust.**

'**It's no good turning your beak up at it, that's all we've got,' said Harry grimly.**

**He put the empty bowl back on the floor next to the cat-flap and lay back down on the bed, somehow even hungrier than he had been before the soup.**

Sirius knew the feeling. That's how he'd felt for the past twelve years.

**Supposing he was still alive in another four weeks, what would happen if he didn't turn up at Hogwarts? Would someone be sent to see why he hadn't come back? Would they be able to make the Dursleys let him go?**

"Of course!" Professor McGonagall exploded now that she had the chance to speak her mind, "I would come myself and report those Muggles to Social Services at once like they deserve!"

**The room was growing dark. Exhausted, stomach rumbling, mind spinning over the same unanswerable questions, Harry fell into an uneasy sleep.**

**He dreamed that he was on show in a zoo, with a card reading 'Underage Wizard' attached to his cage. People goggled through the bars at him as he lay, starving and weak, on a bed of straw. He saw Dobby's face in the crowd and shouted out, asking for help, but Dobby called, 'Harry Potter is safe there, sir!' and vanished. Then the Dursleys appeared and Dudley rattled the bars of the cage, laughing at him.**

'**Stop it,' Harry muttered, as the rattling pounded in his sore head. 'Leave me alone ... cut it out ... I'm trying to sleep ...'**

Harry's dream lightened the mood. He was glad when everyone's faces brightened as they laughed and Ron commented that Harry had the oddest dreams ever.

**He opened his eyes. Moonlight was shining through the bars on the window. And someone was goggling through the bars at him: a freckle-faced, red-haired, long-nosed someone.**

"Hey!" Ron protested, knowing well that it was him.

"It was you, Ron?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"It was!" Ron confirmed but still looked offended, "Although I resent these descriptions!"

Mrs Weasley cried and hugged each of her sons who had been a part of Harry's rescue team. She'd been furious when she'd found out what her sons had done but, now that she knew what Harry had been going through, she was very proud of her boys.

**Ron Weasley was outside Harry's window.**

"I am very proud of you, Ron!"

Ron blushed around the ears but it was clear that he'd wanted nothing more than his mother's approval. To have his brothers – Percy included – beam at him was even better than he'd ever thought.

"Who is reading next?" McGonagall inquired when the Weasleys had composed themselves.

"Would you mind?" Andromeda asked everyone before McGonagall could pass the book, "I missed my chance yesterday."

"Please!" McGonagall agreed passing her the book.


	3. Chapter 3: The Burrow

**Author's note****: I'm still waiting for the result of that exam I was studying for when I sent last chapter but I have started my new classes at university and it's a ridiculously busy schedule! Hopefully, I will adapt to it soon and I will be able to send the other chapters more quickly!**

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

Before she started reading the new chapter, Andromeda waved her wand and soon a new pot of tea was floating and landing softly on the coffee-table.

— **CHAPTER THREE —**

**The Burrow**

Andromeda read.

'**Ron!' breathed Harry, creeping to the window and pushing it up so they could talk through the bars. 'Ron, how did you – what the –?'**

**Harry's mouth fell open as the full impact of what he was seeing hit him. Ron was leaning out of the back window of an old turquoise car, which was parked in mid-air.**

"A flying car?" Sirius breathed, "Cool!"

Mrs Weasley glared at her husband, still upset that he'd enchanted the car.

**Grinning at Harry from the front seats were Fred and George, Ron's elder twin brothers.**

'**All right, Harry?'**

'**What's been going on?' said Ron. 'Why haven't you been answering my letters? I've asked you to stay about twelve times, and then Dad came home and said you'd got an official warning for using magic in front of Muggles ...'**

'**It wasn't me – and how did he know?'**

'**He works for the Ministry,' said Ron. 'You know we're not supposed to do spells outside school –'**

'**Bit rich coming from you,' said Harry, staring at the floating car.**

'**Oh, this doesn't count,' said Ron. 'We're only borrowing this, it's Dad's, we didn't enchant it. But doing magic in front of those Muggles you live with ...'**

'**I told you, I didn't – but it'll take too long to explain now. Look, can you explain to them at Hogwarts that the Dursleys have locked me up and won't let me come back, and obviously I can't magic myself out, because the Ministry'll think that's the second spell I've done in three days, so –'**

Harry blushed furiously while the rest of the room burst out laughing. Alright, Snape's was not exactly a laugh more of a derisive cackle, but still...

"Oh, the drama of youth!" Ted Tonks making the others laugh even more.

'**Stop gibbering,' said Ron, 'we've come to take you home with us.'**

'**But you can't magic me out either –'**

'**We don't need to,' said Ron, jerking his head towards the front seats and grinning. 'You forget who I've got with me.'**

Mrs Weasley threw her arms in the air in despair.

'**Tie that round the bars,' said Fred, throwing the end of a rope to Harry.**

'**If the Dursleys wake up, I'm dead,' said Harry, as he tied the rope tightly around a bar and Fred revved up the car.**

"Where did you learn how to drive a car, anyway?" Mr Tonks asked, "In the Muggle world you have to get a driving licence!"

Harry had never considered that and the knowing, rather irritating look on the twins' faces as they obviously didn't want to divulge the answer was not answer enough. The guilty expression on Mr Weasley's face was, though.

'**Don't worry,' said Fred, 'and stand back.'**

**Harry moved back into the shadows next to Hedwig, who seemed to have realised how important this was and kept still and silent. The car revved louder and louder and suddenly, with a crunching noise, the bars were pulled clean out of the window as Fred drove straight up in the air – Harry ran back to the window to see the bars dangling a few feet above the ground. Panting, Ron hoisted them up into the car. Harry listened anxiously, but there was no sound from the Dursleys' bedroom.**

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Andromeda exclaimed.

**When the bars were safely in the back seat with Ron, Fred reversed as close as possible to Harry's window.**

'**Get in,' Ron said.**

'**But all my Hogwarts stuff ... my wand ... my broomstick ...'**

'**Where is it?'**

'**Locked in the cupboard under the stairs, and I can't get out of this room –'**

'**No problem,' said George from the front passenger seat. 'Out of the way, Harry.'**

**Fred and George climbed carefully through the window into Harry's room. You had to hand it to them, thought Harry, as George took an ordinary hairpin from his pocket and started to pick the lock.**

"Just hand it to them?" Fred asked in mock-offence.

'**A lot of wizards think it's a waste of time, knowing this sort of Muggle trick,' said Fred, 'but we feel they're skills worth learning, even if they are a bit slow.'**

"I agree with you!" Tonks nodded in appreciation.

**There was a small click and the door swung open.**

'**So – we'll get your trunk – you grab anything you need from your room and hand it out to Ron,' whispered George.**

'**Watch out for the bottom stair, it creaks,' Harry whispered back, as the twins disappeared onto the dark landing.**

**Harry dashed around his room, collecting his things together and passing them out of the window to Ron. Then he went to help Fred and George heave his trunk up the stairs. Harry heard Uncle Vernon cough.**

**At last, panting, they reached the landing, then carried the trunk through Harry's room to the open window. Fred climbed back into the car to pull with Ron, and Harry and George pushed from the bedroom side. Inch by inch, the trunk slid through the window.**

**Uncle Vernon coughed again.**

'**A bit more,' panted Fred, who was pulling from inside the car, 'one good push ...'**

**Harry and George threw their shoulders against the trunk and it slid out of the window into the back seat of the car.**

'**OK, let's go,' George whispered.**

**But as Harry climbed onto the windowsill there came a sudden loud screech from behind him, **

"What?" Mrs Weasley gasped anxiously, "_What?!_"

**followed immediately by the thunder of Uncle Vernon's voice.**

'**THAT RUDDY OWL!'**

'**I've forgotten Hedwig!'**

"Really, Harry!" Hermione reprimanded.

"Poor Hedwig!" Ginny sighed.

**Harry tore back across the room as the landing light clicked on. He snatched up Hedwig's cage, dashed to the window and passed it out to Ron. He was scrambling back onto the chest of drawers when Uncle Vernon hammered on the unlocked door – and it crashed open.**

"Merlin's beard!" Mr Weasley exclaimed.

**For a split second, Uncle Vernon stood framed in the doorway; then he let out a bellow like an angry bull and dived at Harry, grabbing him by the ankle.**

"You know, if he's so concerned that you are abnormal he should've just let you go... that way he wouldn't have to worry, would he?" Tonks said.

Harry shrugged. "Uncle Vernon's mind is very complicated for such a boring person."

**Ron, Fred and George seized Harry's arms and pulled as hard as they could.**

"That hurt, by the way..."

"You didn't complain then, I don't see why you should complain now," Ron grinned at his friend, "we did save you, didn't we?"

Harry grinned back. "That you did!"

'**Petunia!' roared Uncle Vernon. 'He's getting away! HE'S GETTING AWAY!'**

Professor McGonagall asked. "What is she going to do about that?"

**The Weasleys gave a gigantic tug and Harry's leg slid out of Uncle Vernon's grasp. As soon as Harry was in the car and had slammed the door shut, Ron yelled, 'Put your foot down, Fred!' and the car shot suddenly towards the moon.**

**Harry couldn't believe it – he was free. **

I couldn't believe it either... Sirius thought as he remembered the night he'd run away from home. The wonderful feeling of being welcome in his real home, James's house, was something he would never forget. It had been even better remembering it after twelve years in Azkaban, when he'd got rid of the Dementors at last and he'd almost drowned in his newly found happy memories.

**He wound down the window, the night air whipping his hair, and looked back at the shrinking rooftops of Privet Drive. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley were all hanging, dumbstruck, out of Harry's window.**

'**See you next summer!' Harry yelled.**

"I'm sure they were happy to see you the following summer..." Andromeda commented, grinning.

"As much as they always are." Harry confirmed.

**The Weasleys roared with laughter and Harry settled back in his seat, grinning from ear to ear.**

'**Let Hedwig out,' he told Ron, 'she can fly behind us. She hasn't had a chance to stretch her wings for ages.'**

"Once again, that's animal abuse!" Hermione protested.

"Don't be redundant, Hermione..." Ron retorted.

**George handed the hairpin to Ron and a moment later, Hedwig had soared joyfully out of the window to glide alongside them like a ghost.**

"Are you happy now?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Yes, I feel much better!"

'**So – what's the story, Harry?' said Ron impatiently. 'What's been happening?'**

**Harry told them all about Dobby, the warning he'd given Harry and the fiasco of the violet pudding. There was a long shocked silence when he had finished.**

'**Very fishy,' said Fred finally.**

'**Definitely dodgy,' agreed George. 'So he wouldn't even tell you who's supposed to be plotting all this stuff?'**

'**I don't think he could,' said Harry. 'I told you, every time he got close to letting something slip, he started banging his head against the wall.'**

**He saw Fred and George look at each other.**

'**What, you think he was lying to me?' said Harry. **

"Oh, no, he was not..." mumbled Professor McGonagall darkly.

'**Well,' said Fred, 'put it this way – house-elves have got powerful magic of their own, but they can't usually use it without their masters' permission. I reckon old Dobby was sent to stop you coming back to Hogwarts. Someone's idea of a joke. **

"I wish..." Harry sighed and everyone who knew what had happened nodded as darkly as Professor McGonagall had spoken earlier.

**Can you think of anyone at school with a grudge against you?'**

"Three guesses who would be idiotic enough to do something like that!" Fred and George chorused to their older brothers.

"You mean, not counting you two?" Percy retorted.

Fred and George looked shocked but then each of them put a hand on one of Percy's shoulders, "Oh, Perce, there might be hope for you, yet!" sniffed George, making everyone laugh.

'**Yes,' said Harry and Ron together, instantly.**

'**Draco Malfoy,' **

"Of course..." Neville nodded in agreement.

Andromeda sighed and, when Sirius caught her eyes, gave him a sad smile. He was the only one who shared her hatred for her family... mostly because it was his family as well.

**Harry explained. 'He hates me.'**

"He hates everyone." Neville corrected him.

'**Draco Malfoy?' said George, turning round. 'Not Lucius Malfoy's son?'**

"I know, I was shocked he actually could reproduce!" Sirius said, trying to banish thoughts of his family from his mind, "Of course, seeing that your Aunt and Uncle reproduced, Harry..."

"What was it, Harry?" Ron asked, grinning, "A pig in a wig?"

'**Must be, it's not a very common name, is it?' said Harry. 'Why?'**

'**I've heard Dad talking about him,' said George. 'He was a big supporter of You Know Who.'**

"Still is!" Hagrid grumbled. He would never forgive Malfoy for blackmailing the School board members into banishing Dumbledore right when Muggleborns were attacked. Not to mention that Malfoy had tried to have Buckbeak beheaded! Thank Merlin Beaky had somehow escaped with Black!

'**And when You Know Who disappeared,' said Fred, craning around to look at Harry, 'Lucius Malfoy came back saying he'd never meant any of it. **

"No one believes that." Hagrid growled.

"Not even in Azkaban!" Sirius agreed.

**Load of dung **

"Very nicely put!" Ted Tonks nodded in appreciation.

**Dad reckons he was right in You Know Who's inner circle.'**

"He was indeed!"

**Harry had heard these rumours about Malfoy's family before, and they didn't surprise him at all. Draco Malfoy made Dudley Dursley look like a kind, thoughtful and sensitive boy.**

"Nice comparison, Harry!" Lupin laughed. He'd been so quiet that Harry had almost forgotten he was in the room as well.

'**I don't know whether the Malfoys own a house-elf ...' said Harry.**

"I know now." Harry informed the other unnecessarily.

'**Well, whoever owns him will be an old wizarding family, and they'll be rich,' said Fred.**

"Just like the Blacks." Snape sneered just to bother his old rival. Sirius had been bothering him even after their truce so he believed he deserved a little payback.

Harry eyed his godfather curiously but it was obvious, from Sirius's face, that it wouldn't be a good move to ask him anything about his family.

'**Yeah, Mum's always wishing we had a house-elf to do the ironing,' **

"You can have Kreacher!" Sirius said immediately, "Although he may die from shock if I ever try to even suggest that he leaves the house... I guess I'm stuck with him... unless he died while I was in Azkaban..."

**said George. 'But all we've got is a lousy old ghoul in the attic and gnomes all over the garden. **

"The ghoul is rather lousy but you have to admit you have fun with the gnomes, don't you?" Mr Weasley asked his children.

"We do..." they all chorused with a sigh.

**House elves come with big old manors and castles and places like that, you wouldn't catch one in our house ...'**

**Harry was silent. Judging by the fact that Draco Malfoy usually had the best of everything, his family was rolling in wizard gold; he could just see Malfoy strutting around a large manor house. Sending the family servant to stop Harry going back to Hogwarts also sounded exactly like the sort of thing Malfoy would do. Had Harry been stupid to take Dobby seriously?**

"I think you did well, Harry," Lupin said, "It sounded like the truth to me!"

'**I'm glad we came to get you, anyway,' said Ron. 'I was getting really worried when you didn't answer any of my letters. I thought it was Errol's fault at first –'**

'**Who's Errol?'**

'**Our owl. He's ancient. It wouldn't be the first time he'd collapsed on a delivery. So then I tried to borrow Hermes –'**

'**Who?'**

'**The owl Mum and Dad bought Percy when he was made a prefect,' said Fred from the front.**

'**But Percy wouldn't lend him to me,' said Ron. 'Said he needed him.'**

'**Percy's been acting very oddly this summer,' said George, frowning. 'And he has been sending a lot of letters and spending a load of time shut up in his room ... **

"You were very secretive that summer, dear, I was worried about you!"

"It was nothing, Mother," Percy said pompously, "I'm sorry to have worried you!"

**I mean, there's only so many times you can polish a prefect badge ... You're driving too far west, Fred,' he added, pointing at a compass on the dashboard. Fred twiddled the steering wheel.**

'**So, does your dad know you've got the car?' said Harry, guessing the answer.**

This time, Mrs Weasley wasn't alone in scowling at her sons.

'**Er, no,' said Ron, 'he had to work tonight. Hopefully we'll be able to get it back in the garage without Mum noticing we flew it.'**

"The keyword being 'hopefully'," Ron sighed.

'**What does your dad do at the Ministry of Magic, anyway?'**

'**He works in the most boring department,' said Ron.**

'**The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office.'**

'**The what?'**

'**It's all to do with bewitching things that are Mugglemade, you know, in case they end up back in a Muggle shop or house. Like, last year, some old witch died and her tea set was sold to an antiques shop. This Muggle woman bought it, took it home and tried to serve her friends tea in it. It was a nightmare – Dad was working overtime for weeks.'**

'**What happened?'**

'**The teapot went berserk and squirted boiling tea all over the place and one man ended up in hospital with the sugar tongs clamped to his nose. Dad was going frantic, it's only him and an old warlock called Perkins in the office, and they had to do Memory Charms and all sorts to cover it up ...'**

'**But your dad ... this car ...'**

**Fred laughed. 'Yeah, Dad's mad about everything to do with Muggles, our shed's full of Muggle stuff. He takes it apart, puts spells on it and puts it back together again. If he raided our house he'd have to put himself straight under arrest. It drives Mum mad.'**

"Indeed!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed.

'**That's the main road,' said George, peering down through the windscreen. 'We'll be there in ten minutes ... just as well, it's getting light ...'**

**A faint pinkish glow was visible along the horizon to the east.**

**Fred brought the car lower and Harry saw a dark patchwork of fields and clumps of trees.**

'**We're a little way outside the village,' said George.**

'**Ottery St Catchpole ...'**

**Lower and lower went the flying car. The edge of a brilliant red sun was now gleaming through the trees.**

'**Touchdown!' said Fred as, with a slight bump, they hit the ground. They had landed next to a tumbledown garage in a small yard and Harry looked out for the first time at Ron's house.**

**It looked as though it had once been a large stone pigsty, but extra rooms had been added here and there until it was several storeys high and so crooked it looked as though it was held up by magic **

"It is," Mr Weasley said, "My father did all the work and I added a few extras..."

**(which, Harry reminded himself, it probably was). Four or five chimneys were perched on top of the red roof. A lop-sided sign stuck in the ground near the entrance read 'The Burrow'. Round the front door lay a jumble of wellington boots and a very rusty cauldron. Several fat brown chickens were pecking their way around the yard.**

'**It's not much,' said Ron.**

'**It's brilliant,' said Harry happily, **

All the Weasleys beamed at him.

**thinking of Privet Drive.**

**They got out of the car.**

'**Now, we'll go upstairs really quietly,' said Fred, 'and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast. Then Ron, you come bounding downstairs going, 'Mum, look who turned up in the night!' and she'll be all pleased to see Harry and no one need ever know we flew the car.'**

"You have to work on your excuses..." Sirius said, "Remus, have you kept our old excuse diary?"

'**Right,' said Ron. 'Come on, Harry, I sleep at the –'**

**Ron had gone a nasty greenish colour, his eyes fixed on the house. The other three wheeled around.**

**Mrs Weasley was marching across the yard, scattering chickens, and for a short, plump, kind-faced woman, it was remarkable how much she looked like a sabre-toothed tiger.**

"Thank you, dear," Mrs Weasley grinned with a mischievous streak Harry didn't know she possessed, "I try, I really do."

"And you manage perfectly, Molly dear..." Mr Weasley smiled fondly at her.

'**Ah,' said Fred.**

'**Oh dear,' said George.**

**Mrs Weasley came to a halt in front of them, her hands on her hips, staring from one guilty face to the next. She was wearing a flowered apron with a wand sticking out of the pocket.**

"I cannot be so scary with a flowered apron, Molly, my compliments, really!" Andromeda smiled.

'**So,' she said.**

'**Morning, Mum,' said George, in what he clearly thought was a jaunty, winning voice.**

'**Have you any idea how worried I've been?' said Mrs Weasley in a deadly whisper.**

"They never think of that!" Andromeda glared at her daughter, who had given her more than a few grey hair.

'**Sorry, Mum, but see, we had to –'**

**All three of Mrs Weasley's sons were taller than she was, but they cowered as her rage broke over them.**

'**Beds empty! No note! Car gone ... could have crashed ... out of my mind with worry ... did you care? ... never, as long as I've lived ... you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy ...'**

'**Perfect Percy,' muttered Fred.**

'**YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY'S BOOK!' yelled Mrs Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred's chest. 'You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job –'**

**It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away.**

'**I'm very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,' she said, 'Come in and have some breakfast.'**

**She turned and walked back into the house and Harry, after a nervous glance at Ron, who nodded encouragingly, followed her.**

**The kitchen was small and rather cramped. There was a scrubbed wooden table and chairs in the middle and Harry sat down on the edge of his seat, looking around. He had never been in a wizard house before.**

"I'd never considered that!" Ron exclaimed.

**The clock on the wall opposite him had only one hand and no numbers at all. Written around the edge were things like 'Time to make tea', 'Time to feed the chickens' and 'You're late'. **

"It's an amazing clock, Molly!" Dumbledore said cheerfully.

**Books were stacked three deep on the mantelpiece, books with titles like Charm Your Own Cheese, Enchantment in Baking and One Minute Feasts – It's Magic! And unless Harry's ears were deceiving him, the old radio next to the sink had just announced that coming up was 'Witching Hour, with the popular singing sorceress, Celestina Warbeck'.**

"I love her voice!" Luna Lovegood said, speaking for the first time in a long, long time.

**Mrs Weasley was clattering around, cooking breakfast a little haphazardly, throwing dirty looks at her sons as she threw sausages into the frying pan. Every now and then she muttered things like 'don't know what you were thinking of' and 'never would have believed it'.**

'**I don't blame you, dear,' she assured Harry, tipping eight or nine sausages onto his plate. 'Arthur and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night we were saying we'd come and get you ourselves if you hadn't written back to Ron by Friday. But really' (she was now adding three fried eggs to his plate), 'flying an illegal car halfway across the country – anyone could have seen you –'**

**She flicked her wand casually at the washing-up in the sink, which began to clean itself, clinking gently in the background.**

'**It was cloudy, Mum!' said Fred.**

'**You keep your mouth closed while you're eating!' Mrs Weasley snapped.**

'**They were starving him, Mum!' said George.**

'**And you!' said Mrs Weasley, but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.**

"You have a good heart, Molly..." Dumbledore said gently.

**At that moment, there was a diversion in the form of a small, red-headed figure in a long nightdress, who appeared in the kitchen, gave a small squeal, and ran out again.**

While her brothers laughed, Ginny hid her face in her hands, truly embarrassed by her younger self. She couldn't believe she'd done that!

'**Ginny,' said Ron in an undertone to Harry. 'My sister. She's been talking about you all summer.'**

"You weren't supposed to tell him that, Ron!" Ginny hissed as Hermione and Luna shook their heads at Ron's male approach to this kind of things.

'**Yeah, she'll be wanting your autograph, Harry,' grinned Fred, but he caught his mother's eye and bent his face over his plate without another word. Nothing more was said until all four plates were clean, which took a surprisingly short time.**

'**Blimey, I'm tired,' yawned Fred, setting down his knife and fork at last. 'I think I'll go to bed and –'**

'**You will not,' snapped Mrs Weasley. 'It's your own fault you've been up all night. You're going to de-gnome the garden for me, they're getting completely out of hand again.'**

'**Oh, Mum –'**

'**And you two,' she said, glaring at Ron and George. 'You can go up to bed, dear,' she added to Harry. 'You didn't ask them to fly that wretched car.'**

**But Harry, who felt wide awake, said quickly, 'I'll help Ron, I've never seen a de-gnoming –'**

'**That's very sweet of you, dear, but it's dull work,' said Mrs Weasley. 'Now, let's see what Lockhart's got to say on the subject.'**

Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Neville and even Snape rolled their eyes. They had just managed to forget about Lockhart!

The girls still fancied the author but Hermione had been disgusted when Harry and Ron had related the events in the Chamber, Ginny did all she could to forget those events and Luna just thought Lockhart was so ridiculous that he was funny. Professor McGonagall had hated Lockhart just as much as the other teachers. For the first time in years she shared a dark look with Snape.

**And she pulled a heavy book from the stack on the mantelpiece. George groaned.**

'**Mum, we know how to de-gnome a garden.'**

**Harry looked at the cover of Mrs Weasley's book. Written across it in fancy gold letters were the words: Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests. There was a big photograph on the front of a very good-looking wizard with wavy blond hair and bright blue eyes. As always in the wizarding world, the photograph was moving; the wizard, who Harry supposed was Gilderoy Lockhart, kept winking cheekily up at them all. Mrs Weasley beamed down at him.**

'**Oh, he is marvellous,' she said, 'he knows his household pests, all right, it's a wonderful book ...'**

'**Mum fancies him,' said Fred, in a very audible whisper.**

'**Don't be so ridiculous, Fred,' said Mrs Weasley, her cheeks rather pink. 'All right, if you think you know better than Lockhart, you can go and get on with it, and woe betide you if there's a single gnome in that garden when I come out to inspect it.'**

**Yawning and grumbling, the Weasleys slouched outside with Harry behind them. The garden was large and, in Harry's eyes, exactly what a garden should be. The Dursleys wouldn't have liked it – there were plenty of weeds, and the grass needed cutting – but there were gnarled trees all around the walls, plants Harry had never seen spilling from every flowerbed and a big green pond full of frogs.**

'**Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know,' Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn.**

'**Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes,' said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush. 'Like fat little Father Christmases with fishing rods ...'**

**There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered and Ron straightened up. 'This is a gnome,' he said grimly.**

'**Gerroff me! Gerroff me!' squealed the gnome.**

**It was certainly nothing like Father Christmas. It was small and leathery-looking, with a large, knobbly, bald head exactly like a potato. Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles and turned it upside-down.**

'**This is what you have to do,' he said. He raised the gnome above his head ('Gerroff me!') and started to swing it in great circles like a lasso. Seeing the shocked look on Harry's face, Ron added, 'It doesn't hurt them – you've just got to make them really dizzy so they can't find their way back to the gnomeholes.'**

**He let go of the gnome's ankles: it flew twenty feet into the air and landed with a thud in the field over the hedge. **

'**Pitiful,' said Fred. 'I bet I can get mine beyond that stump.'**

**Harry learned quickly not to feel too sorry for the gnomes.**

**He decided just to drop the first one he caught over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank its razorsharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off until –**

'**Wow, Harry – that must've been fifty feet ...'**

**The air was soon thick with flying gnomes.**

'**See, they're not too bright,' said George, seizing five or six gnomes at once. 'The moment they know the de-gnoming's going on they storm up to have a look. You'd think they'd have learned by now just to stay put.'**

**Soon, the crowd of gnomes in the field started walking away in a straggling line, their little shoulders hunched.**

'**They'll be back,' said Ron, as they watched the gnomes disappear into the hedge on the other side of the field.**

'**They love it here ... Dad's too soft with them, he thinks they're funny ...'**

"I do..." Mr Weasley said.

**Just then, the front door slammed.**

'**He's back!' said George. 'Dad's home!'**

**They hurried through the garden and back into the house.**

**Mr Weasley was slumped in a kitchen chair with his glasses off and his eyes closed. He was a thin man, going bald, but the little hair he had was as red as any of his children's. He was wearing long green robes which were dusty and travel-worn.**

'**What a night,' he mumbled, groping for the teapot as they all sat down around him. 'Nine raids. Nine! And old Mundungus Fletcher tried to put a hex on me when I had my back turned ...'**

"He does that..." Hagrid sighed.

"Dung?" Sirius asked immediately, "How's the old fool?"

"As his usual idiotic self!" said Professor McGonagall, "I do not see what everyone sees in that good-for-nothing layabout!"

"That's exactly what's funny about it!"

**Mr Weasley took a long gulp of tea and sighed.**

'**Find anything, Dad?' said Fred eagerly.**

'**All I got were a few shrinking door-keys and a biting kettle,' yawned Mr Weasley. 'There was some pretty nasty stuff that wasn't my department, though. Mortlake was taken away for questioning about some extremely odd ferrets, but that's the Committee on Experimental Charms, thank goodness ...'**

'**Why would anyone bother making door-keys shrink?' said George.**

'**Just Muggle-baiting,' sighed Mr Weasley. 'Sell them a key that keeps shrinking to nothing so they can never find it when they need it ... Of course, it's very hard to convict anyone because no Muggle would admit their key keeps shrinking – they'll insist they just keep losing it. Bless them, they'll go to any lengths to ignore magic, even if it's staring them in the face ... but the things our lot have taken to enchanting, you wouldn't believe –'**

'**LIKE CARS, FOR INSTANCE?'**

"Uh-oh!" Bill grinned.

**Mrs Weasley had appeared, holding a long poker like a sword. Mr Weasley's eyes jerked open. He stared guiltily at his wife.**

'**C-cars, Molly, dear?'**

'**Yes, Arthur, cars,' said Mrs Weasley, her eyes flashing.**

'**Imagine a wizard buying a rusty old car and telling his wife all he wanted to do with it was take it apart to see how it worked, while really he was enchanting it to make it fly.'**

**Mr Weasley blinked.**

'**Well, dear, I think you'll find that he would be quite within the law to do that, even if, er, he maybe would have done better to, um, tell his wife the truth ... **

"Indeed!"

Mrs Weasley kept glaring at her husband at the mere memory.

**There's a loophole in the law, you'll find ... as long as he wasn't intending to fly the car, the fact that the car could fly wouldn't –'**

'**Arthur Weasley, you made sure there was a loophole when you wrote that law!' shouted Mrs Weasley. 'Just so you could carry on tinkering with all that Muggle rubbish in your shed! And for your information, Harry arrived this morning in the car you weren't intending to fly!'**

'**Harry?' said Mr Weasley blankly. 'Harry who?'**

**He looked around, saw Harry and jumped.**

'**Good Lord, is it Harry Potter? Very pleased to meet you, Ron's told us so much about –'**

'**Your sons flew that car to Harry's house and back last night!' shouted Mrs Weasley, 'What have you got to say about that, eh?'**

'**Did you really?' said Mr Weasley eagerly. 'Did it go all right? I-I mean,' he faltered, as sparks flew from Mrs Weasley's eyes, 'that-that was very wrong, boys – very wrong indeed ...'**

His children, Harry, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Sirius, Remus, Hagrid, the Tonkses and Dumbledore all burst out laughing.

'**Let's leave them to it,' Ron muttered to Harry, as Mrs Weasley swelled like a bullfrog. 'Come on, I'll show you my bedroom.'**

**They slipped out of the kitchen and down a narrow passageway to an uneven staircase, which zigzagged its way up through the house. On the third landing, a door stood ajar. Harry just caught sight of a pair of bright brown eyes staring at him before it closed with a snap.**

"I'm sorry I was acting so oddly..." Ginny told Harry, blushing, "I hope you weren't embarrassed!"

"It's alright, Ginny." Harry smiled at her.

'**Ginny,' said Ron. 'You don't know how weird it is for her to be this shy, she never shuts up normally –'**

"Ron, you don't say that!" Hermione reprimanded him.

**They climbed two more flights until they reached a door with peeling paint and a small plaque on it, saying 'Ronald's Room'.**

**Harry stepped in, his head almost touching the sloping ceiling, and blinked. It was like walking into a furnace: **

"Uh?" Ron frowned in confusion.

**nearly everything in Ron's room seemed to be a violent shade of orange: the bedspread, the walls, even the ceiling.**

**Then Harry realised that Ron had covered nearly every inch of the shabby wallpaper with posters of the same seven witches and wizards, all wearing bright orange robes, carrying broomsticks and waving energetically.**

'**Your Quidditch team?' said Harry.**

'**The Chudley Cannons,' said Ron, pointing at the orange bedspread, which was emblazoned with two giant black Cs and a speeding cannonball. 'Ninth in the league.'**

**Ron's school spellbooks were stacked untidily in a corner, **

Mrs Weasley glared at her youngest son. She's told him more than once to clean his room! **next to a pile of comics which all seemed to feature The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle. Ron's magic wand was lying on top of a fish tank full of frogspawn on the windowsill, next to his fat grey rat, Scabbers, who was snoozing in a patch of sun.**

Ron and Sirius exchanged dark looks. Harry was happy no one noticed, he didn't want to spoil the third book. Mrs Weasley was already going to be worried about them numerous times during this reading... he couldn't imagine how she would react at the thought that they'd had the traitor living with them for twelve years!

**Harry stepped over a pack of Self-Shuffling playing cards on the floor and looked out of the tiny window. In the field far below he could see a gang of gnomes sneaking, one by one, back through the Weasleys' hedge. Then he turned to look at Ron, who was watching him almost nervously, as though waiting for his opinion.**

The women smiled softly. Ron could be so sweet sometimes. Sadly, thought Ginny, it was only sometimes.

'**It's a bit small,' said Ron quickly. 'Not like that room you had with the Muggles. And I'm right underneath the ghoul in the attic, he's always banging on the pipes and groaning ...'**

**But Harry, grinning widely, said, 'This is the best house I've ever been in.'**

**Ron's ears went pink.**

"It really is!" Harry told his best friend as Mrs Tonks passed the book to the next reader who turned out to be... Snape.

In the brief pause in which Andromeda served tea and Snape waited for them all to get ready for the following chapter, Sirius relaxed a bit in his armchair. He was very glad this had been such a nice chapter. He knew all about the Weasleys from Harry's letters, so he already knew he owed them for looking after Harry so kindly in his stead. He hoped these books would show him some way to pay them back.


	4. Chapter 4: At Flourish and Blotts

**Author's note****: I finally got the result of my exam but my timetable is still crazy! Also, this chapter was harder than I thought! Please, if anyone has any idea to use in this fanfic, feel free to PM or review! **

**Thanks a lot for being so patient with me and to take your time to read my stories! **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

— **CHAPTER FOUR —**

**At Flourish and Blotts**

Fred and George grinned mischievously when Snape announced the title of the chapter. The Potions Master would've wanted to skip that and go on with the reading but apparently people here thought that the title was a nice anticipation of the subject of the chapter. Severus agreed, usually the title told something about the following reading but there was a irritating tendency, here, to comment every single sentence in these blasted books.

**Life at The Burrow was as different as possible from life in Privet Drive. **

"I would certainly hope so!" Ron exclaimed. Snape glared at him, "Sorry, Professor..."

**The Dursleys liked everything neat and ordered; the Weasleys' house burst with the strange and unexpected. Harry got a shock the first time he looked in the mirror over the kitchen mantelpiece and it shouted, 'Tuck your shirt in, scruffy!' **

"He screamed like a girl." Fred precised.

**The ghoul in the attic howled and dropped pipes whenever he felt things were getting too quiet, and small explosions from Fred and George's bedroom were considered perfectly normal. What Harry found most unusual about life at Ron's, however, wasn't the talking mirror or the clanking ghoul: it was the fact that everybody there seemed to like him.**

"That is the saddest thing I have ever heard," Tonks said, staring at Harry blankly, while her mother gasped 'Dora!' in protest, "I mean, I know you really felt it, but it's still very sad to say!"

**Mrs Weasley fussed over the state of his socks and tried to force him to eat fourth helpings at every meal. **

"And thank Merlin she did!" Sirius hissed, still upset at the idea of Harry being locked up in his room.

**Mr Weasley liked Harry to sit next to him at the dinner table so that he could bombard him with questions about life with Muggles, asking him to explain how things like plugs and the postal service worked.**

"He never learned how to escape that."Ron told everyone.

"You were luckier this year, Harry!" Ginny told the boy, "With Hermione around, Dad will leave you alone!"

'**Fascinating!' he would say, as Harry talked him through using a telephone. 'Ingenious, really, how many ways Muggles have found of getting along without magic.'**

**Harry heard from Hogwarts **

"You knew Harry was at the Weasleys', right?" Ted Tonks asked Dumbledore across the room.

"Indeed," Dumbledore nodded.

"You knew he was staying with us but you didn't know his Aunt and Uncle locked him in his room?" Mrs Weasley and Sirius glared twin glares at the headmaster.

**one sunny morning about a week after he had arrived at The Burrow. He and Ron went down to breakfast to find Mr and Mrs Weasley and Ginny already sitting at the kitchen table. The moment she saw Harry, Ginny accidentally knocked her porridge bowl to the floor with a loud clatter. **

Ginny clasped a hand to her face. She couldn't believe she'd been so ridiculous. And that Harry had noticed it!

**Ginny seemed very prone to knocking things over whenever Harry entered a room. **

Her brothers laughed but they were silenced by a glare from their mother.

**She dived under the table to retrieve the bowl and emerged with her face glowing like the setting sun. Pretending he hadn't noticed this, **

"Thank you, Harry..." Ginny whispered, still hiding her face.

**Harry sat down and took the toast Mrs Weasley offered him.**

'**Letters from school,' said Mr Weasley, passing Harry and Ron identical envelopes of yellowish parchment, addressed in green ink. 'Dumbledore already knows you're here, Harry – doesn't miss a trick, that man. You two've got them, too,' he added, as Fred and George stumbled in, still in their pyjamas.**

**For a few minutes there was silence as they all read their letters. **

"Why does everyone keep reading those letters?" Tonks asked no one in particular, "We all know they always say the same thing!"

**Harry's told him to catch the Hogwarts Express as usual from King's Cross station on September the first. **

"There!"

**There was also a list of the new books he'd need for the coming year.**

**Second-year students will require:**

**The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk**

Snape's lips curled dangerously. For just a moment, he frowned at Professor McGonagall. Something terrible was about to happen.

Noticing this, Sirius glanced at Lupin in hope that he knew what was going on but Remus just shrugged. What could be so terrible about a list of school-books?

**Break with a Banshee **

"Ah!" Harry gasped in pain at the memory. The other _male_ students, who had the unfortunate destiny of suffering the teaching of the most incompetent Defence of the Dark Arts teacher of all time, gasped in pain just like Harry. To them, it was clear why Snape looked so dangerous. If there was one thing they all agreed with the bitter Potions Master was their dislike of...

**by Gilderoy Lockhart**

Hagrid rolled his eyes. He hadn't liked Lockhart either, especially when the man stayed at his hut uninvited. Professor McGonagall's eyes flashed and her hands twitched nervously as if instinctively strangling someone. She and Severus mostly disagreed but all the Hogwarts staff had hated Lockhart with a passion. Oh, how relieved had she been when Dumbledore had hired Remus Lupin the following year!

**Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart**

**Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart**

**Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart**

**Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart**

**Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart**

**Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart**

There was something chilly about Snape's voice as he read the list. It was as if he was trying to kill them with his voice to punish them for having him read this list.

**Fred, who had finished his own list, peered over at Harry's.**

'**You've been told to get all Lockhart's books, too!' he said. 'The new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher must be a fan – bet it's a witch.'**

"If only..." McGonagall sighed, massaging her own forehead, "If only!"

Sirius turned to his godson. He'd been in Azkaban at the time, so he had no idea of Harry's life before he'd seen him fly at the Quidditch match during Harry's third year in school. "Is this something like another professor possessed by Voldemort?"

Ginny flinched and her mother grabbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Er – no, not exactly... you'll find out soon, I think. We found out we were doomed right at Flourish and Blotts, so it should be in this chapter..."

"But..."

"We don't want to spoil the surprise, _Sirius_," Snape sneered dangerously, "I would love to have you suffer like we did but you will soon see what we're talking about!"

Snape's behaviour was so out of character that Sirius really wanted to know, so he motioned for Severus to keep reading.

**At this point, Fred caught his mother's eye and quickly busied himself with the marmalade.**

'**That lot won't come cheap,' said George, with a quick look at his parents. 'Lockhart's books are really expensive ...'**

'**Well, we'll manage,' said Mrs Weasley, but she looked worried. 'I expect we'll be able to pick up a lot of Ginny's things second-hand.'**

'**Oh, are you starting at Hogwarts this year?' Harry asked Ginny.**

**She nodded, blushing to the roots of her flaming hair, and put her elbow in the butter dish. Fortunately no one saw this except Harry, because just then Ron's elder brother Percy walked in. He was already dressed, his Hogwarts prefect badge pinned to his knitted tank top.**

Percy rolled his eyes as his brother looked at him.

"Who does that, Perce?" Fred asked, "Really, tell me, who does that?"

'**Morning, all,' said Percy briskly. 'Lovely day.'**

**He sat down in the only remaining chair but leapt up again almost immediately, pulling from underneath him a moulting, grey feather duster – at least, that was what Harry thought it was, until he saw that it was breathing.**

"Well, it could be enchanted." Tonks said cheerfully.

"No." Mr Weasley answered, a smile playing on his lips.

'**Errol!' said Ron, taking the limp owl **

"That's an owl?" Sirius asked.

"How could you mistake an owl for a feather duster?" Ron asked in mock-offence.

**from Percy and extracting a letter from under its wing. 'Finally – he's got Hermione's answer. I wrote to her saying we were going to try and rescue you from the Dursleys.'**

**He carried Errol to a perch just inside the back door and tried to stand him on it, but Errol flopped straight off again so Ron laid him on the draining board instead, muttering, 'Pathetic.' **

"That poor bird!" Mrs Tonks sighed, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's our family owl," Mr Weasley explained, "He's very old, he's been with us for a long time..."

**Then he ripped open Hermione's letter and read it out loud:**

**Dear Ron, and Harry if you're there,**

**I hope everything went all right and that Harry is OK **

"And I was wrong." Hermione hissed briskly.

**and that you didn't do anything illegal to get him out, Ron, **

"And I was wrong about that too!"

**because that would get Harry into trouble, too. **

**I've been really worried and if Harry is all right, will you please let me know at once, but perhaps it would be better if you used a different owl, because I think another delivery might finish your one off. **

"Somehow he's still alive," Bill said, "Good ol' Errol!"

**I'm very busy with school work, of course **

"I would scratch off the 'of course', Hermione," Sirius said, "That's a free ticket for a lifetime of teasing."

"What's wrong about enjoying doing my homework?"

"Don't get me started on that," said Sirius, "When I was at school I would study as quickly as possible to get down to business as soon as possible!"

"What's business?" asked Ginny.

"Why, troublemaking of course!"

"I like how you think, sir!" chorused the twins.

Lupin snorted as he glanced at Harry, who quickly hid his own snort, "I would certainly hope so!"

Fred and George tilted their heads, "What do you mean, Professor?"

"First of all, it's Remus, I'm no longer your teacher," said Lupin, "Secondly, you'll find out about that tomorrow."

– '**How can she be?' said Ron in horror. 'We're on holiday!' – and we're going to London next Wednesday to buy my new books. Why don't we meet in Diagon Alley?**

**Let me know what's happening as soon as you can, **

**love from **

**Hermione.**

'**Well, that fits in nicely, we can go and get all your things then, too,' said Mrs Weasley, starting to clear the table. 'What're you all up to today?'**

**Harry, Ron, Fred and George were planning to go up the hill to a small paddock the Weasleys owned. It was surrounded by trees that blocked it from view of the village below, meaning that they could practise Quidditch there, as long as they didn't fly too high. They couldn't use real Quidditch balls, which would have been hard to explain if they had escaped and flown away over the village; instead they threw apples for each other to catch. They took it in turns to ride Harry's Nimbus Two Thousand, which was easily the best broom; Ron's old Shooting Star was often outstripped by passing butterflies.**

"I'll see if I can get you a broomstick for your birthday, Ron," said Bill, "After all that I've heard about you, you deserve it."

**Five minutes later they were marching up the hill, broomsticks over their shoulders. They had asked Percy if he wanted to join them, but he had said he was busy. Harry had only seen Percy at meal-times so far; he stayed shut in his room the rest of the time.**

"I was really worried about you, dear!" fussed Mrs Weasley immediately.

"I was fine, Mother, and I am fine now."

'**Wish I knew what he was up to,' said Fred, frowning. 'He's not himself. His exam results came the day before you did; twelve O. and he hardly gloated at all.'**

'**Ordinary Wizarding Levels,' George explained, seeing Harry's puzzled look. 'Bill got twelve, too. If we're not careful, we'll have another Head Boy in the family. **

Fred and George groaned while Bill, Charlie, Ron, Ginny and even Percy laughed at that. Sirius considered them for a moment...

"You weren't careful, were you?"

George sighed. "No, we were not."

**I don't think I could stand the shame.'**

"Oh, the shame!" Fred shouted dramatically. Everyone laughed except Snape who glared at them all for interrupting.

**Bill was the oldest Weasley brother. He and the next brother, Charlie, had already left Hogwarts. Harry had never met either of them, but knew that Charlie was in Romania, studying dragons, and Bill in Egypt, working for the wizards' bank, Gringotts.**

Ron rolled his eyes. He'd been getting more and more tired of the useless descriptions and explanations, "I don't understand!" he finally snapped, "If this TRL person sent these books to us, why did he feel the need to describe everything? We all know this stuff!"

"Maybe he intended to publish them anyway," said Neville.

"Why would he do that?"

"These books are rather enjoyable, aren't they?" Mr Weasley said, "Why shouldn't TRL profit from it after what was surely really hard work to write them on his godfather's part?"

Ron still looked doubtful, "I suppose..."

'**Dunno how Mum and Dad are going to afford all our school stuff this year,' said George after a while. 'Five sets of Lockhart books! And Ginny needs robes and a wand and everything ...'**

Mrs Weasley looked at her husband. He knew that look. She wanted to talk to him later.

**Harry said nothing. He felt a bit awkward. Stored in an underground vault at Gringotts in London was a small fortune that his parents had left him. **

Mrs Weasley and her family smiled at Harry, "You shouldn't feel bad, dear!"

**Of course, it was only in the wizarding world that he had money; you couldn't use Galleons, Sickles and Knuts in Muggle shops. **

"No but you can change wizard money into Muggle money," Bill said, "Gringotts provides that service."

"Really?" Harry asked, "I didn't know that!"

"Of course they do!" Sirius told his godson.

"How else would wizard shop into Muggle shops if they wanted?" Lupin asked reasonably.

Harry couldn't believe he'd never thought of that.

**He had never mentioned his Gringotts bank account to the Dursleys; he didn't think their horror of anything connected with magic would stretch to a large pile of gold.**

"No, I don't think so, either," said Ginny, who'd been quiet for a while.

**Mrs Weasley woke them all early the following Wednesday.**

"Oh, God!" Harry sighed, "I forgot all about that!"

"What?" Tonks asked.

"My first trip with Floo powder!"

Fred and George grinned but Mr and Mrs Weasley and Hagrid looked grim. Sirius hid his face with one hand, "Did you manage to get in trouble with something as simple as travelling with Floo powder?"

"I don't know what you mean, Sirius."

**After a quick half-a-dozen bacon sandwiches each, they pulled on their coats and Mrs Weasley took a flowerpot off the kitchen mantelpiece and peered inside.**

'**We're running low, Arthur,' she sighed. 'We'll have to buy some more today ... ah well, guests first! After you, Harry dear!'**

**And she offered him the flowerpot.**

**Harry stared at them all watching him.**

'**W-what am I supposed to do?' he stammered. **

'**He's never travelled by Floo powder,' said Ron suddenly. 'Sorry, Harry, I forgot.'**

'**Never?' said Mr Weasley. 'But how did you get to Diagon Alley to buy your school things last year?'**

'**I went on the Underground –'**

'**Really?' said Mr Weasley eagerly. 'Were there escapators? How exactly –'**

'**Not now, Arthur,' said Mrs Weasley. 'Floo powder's a lot quicker, dear, but goodness me, if you've never used it before –'**

'**He'll be all right, Mum,' said Fred. 'Harry, watch us first.'**

**He took a pinch of glittering powder out of the flowerpot, stepped up to the fire and threw the powder into the flames.**

**With a roar, the fire turned emerald green and rose higher than Fred, who stepped right into it, shouted, 'Diagon Alley!' and vanished.**

'**You must speak clearly, dear,' Mrs Weasley told Harry, as George dipped his hand into the flowerpot. 'And mind you get out at the right grate ...'**

'**The right what?' said Harry nervously, as the fire roared and whipped George out of sight too.**

'**Well, there are an awful lot of wizard fires to choose from, you know, but as long as you've spoken clearly –'**

'**He'll be fine, Molly, don't fuss,' said Mr Weasley, helping himself to Floo powder too.**

'**But dear, if he got lost, how would we ever explain to his aunt and uncle?'**

'**They wouldn't mind,' Harry reassured her. 'Dudley would think it was a brilliant joke if I got lost up a chimney, don't worry about that.'**

Sirius's face was dark. He still couldn't believe how similar Harry's childhood was to his own. That misery was something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy and when he thought about what his own godson had gone through Sirius couldn't help but be reminded of how his own parents had been just as awful as the Dursleys.

'**Well ... all right ... you go after Arthur,' said Mrs Weasley. 'Now, when you get into the fire, say where you're going –'**

'**And keep your elbows tucked in,' Ron advised.**

'**And your eyes shut,' said Mrs Weasley. 'The soot –'**

'**Don't fidget,' said Ron. 'Or you might well fall out of the wrong fireplace –'**

'**But don't panic and get out too early, wait until you see Fred and George.'**

"Oh, dear," sighed Mrs Weasley, "I see now that we explained a little too quickly!"

**Trying hard to bear all this in mind, Harry took a pinch of Floo powder and walked to the edge of the fire. He took a deep breath, scattered the powder into the flames and stepped forward; the fire felt like a warm breeze; he opened his mouth and immediately swallowed a lot of hot ash.**

'**D-Dia-gon Alley,' he coughed.**

**It felt as though he was being sucked down a giant plug hole. He seemed to be spinning very fast ... the roaring in his ears was deafening ... he tried to keep his eyes open but the whirl of green flames made him feel sick … something hard knocked his elbow and he tucked it in tightly, still spinning and spinning ... now it felt as though cold hands were slapping his face ... squinting through his glasses he saw a blurred stream of fireplaces and snatched glimpses of the rooms beyond ... his bacon sandwiches were churning inside him ... He closed his eyes again wishing it would stop, and then – he fell, face forward, onto cold stone and felt his glasses shatter.**

"Oh, my!" gasped Mrs Tonks.

**Dizzy and bruised, covered in soot, he got gingerly to his feet, holding his broken glasses up to his eyes. He was quite alone, but where he was, he had no idea. All he could tell was that he was standing in the stone fireplace of what looked like a large, dimly lit wizard's shop – but nothing in here was ever likely to be on a Hogwarts school list. A glass case nearby held a withered hand on a cushion, a blood-stained pack of cards and a staring glass eye. Evil-looking masks leered down from the walls, an assortment of human bones lay upon the counter and rusty, spiked instruments hung from the ceiling. Even worse, the dark, narrow street Harry could see through the dusty shop window was definitely not Diagon Alley. **

"Merlin's beard!" exclaimed Mr Tonks, "Not Knockturn Alley!"

"That's a foul place, Harry." Sirius told his godson unnecessarily.

"I know that now," said Harry, "Believe me, I'd rather fight another troll!"

"And I'd rather you didn't!"

**The sooner he got out of here, the better. Nose still stinging where it had hit the hearth, Harry made his way swiftly and silently towards the door, but before he'd got halfway towards it, two people appeared on the other side of the glass – and one of them was the very last person Harry wanted to meet when he was lost, covered in soot and wearing broken glasses: **

Andromeda sighed in defeat, "Let me guess..."

**Draco Malfoy.**

The Hogwarts students groaned. No one liked Draco Malfoy.

Tonks shook her head, "I am so ashamed do be related to him."

"Well, if I remember correctly, what happens now will make us all feel better!"

Hermione wondered why Harry was beaming at her. She remembered him mentioning meeting Malfoy in Knockturn Alley but she couldn't fathom why he was grinning so much at _her_.

**Harry looked quickly around and spotted a large black cabinet to his left; he shot inside it and pulled the doors to, leaving a small crack to peer through. **

"Good idea!" Charlie beamed.

"I like how quickly you think, Harry!" Lupin said approvingly, "Considering the amount of times you get yourself into dangerous situations, it's good that you have good instincts!"

Harry smiled in thanks at his former professor although it wasn't exactly a compliment.

**Seconds later, a bell clanged, and Malfoy stepped into the shop.**

**The man who followed could only be his father. **

"Not Lucius too!" Andromeda moaned. She still couldn't believe her sister had married that man!

"My dear Andromeda, not even Lucius Malfoy would send his son in Knockturn Alley unescorted..." said Dumbledore evenly.

**He had the same pale, pointed face and identical cold grey eyes.**

"It seems Lucius still looks like he just got out of his coffin," said Sirius, "He looked like that when he came by my house to lick my parents' boots while courting Narcissa."

"He does," confirmed Mr Weasley, "And he's still as nasty as ever!"

**Mr Malfoy crossed the shop, looking lazily at the items on display, and rang a bell on the counter before turning to his son and saying, 'Touch nothing, Draco.'**

**Malfoy, who had reached for the glass eye, said, 'I thought you were going to buy me a present.'**

"Er – I don't think he wanted to buy you a present in this kind of shop..."

'**I said I would buy you a racing broom,' said his father, drumming his fingers on the counter.**

"He said he would buy him the place in his house team." Fred precised.

'**What's the good of that if I'm not in the house team?' said Malfoy, looking sulky and bad-tempered. **

"Aha!" Ron cheered, "I don't know why he's sulky but he deserves it!"

'**Harry Potter got a Nimbus Two Thousand last year. Special permission from Dumbledore so he could play for Gryffindor. He's not even that good, **

"And you are?" Ron asked the book.

**it's just because he's famous ... famous for having a stupid scar on his forehead ...' Malfoy bent down to examine a shelf full of skulls. '... everyone thinks he's so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick –**

"How can someone be so insufferable?!" Ron shouted in a rage.

"I for one never treated Potter differently," said Snape, pausing from the reading.

Everyone eyed him carefully. Was he trying to make a joke or was he being serious? His face suggested that he was being serious.

"No, you didn't, Severus," said Sirius sarcastically, "You just gave him detention and took house points from him because he exists."

Snape looked at him with hatred, "I believe that's the same reason your precious best friend used to give me hell when we were in school!"

Sirius darkened at that, "I already told you, I do not deny that we were a bunch of idiots at the time, but you don't have to take it out on Harry!"

"Sirius, Severus, that's quite enough!" Dumbledore intervened, catching the pained looks from everyone else. They were all imploring him to do something. He was the only one with some kind of control over the two men, "You already made that truce yesterday! No one expects you to be the best of friends so quickly but you promised to be civil to each other and you will stop getting at each other's throats right now!"

'**You have told me this at least a dozen times already,' said Mr Malfoy, with a quelling look at his son, 'and I would remind you that it is not – prudent – to appear less than fond of Harry Potter, not when most of our kind regard him as the hero who made the Dark Lord disappear **

"I'm sorry," Tonks asked, "Regard? And I even liked him for a moment there because he reprimanded that stupid boy of his!"

– **ah, Mr Borgin.'**

"You were in Borgin and Burkes?" grumbled Hagrid, speaking for the first time in a while, "That's one nasty place!"

**A stooping man had appeared behind the counter, smoothing his greasy hair back from his face.**

'**Mr Malfoy, what a pleasure to see you again,' said Mr Borgin in a voice as oily as his hair. **

"And that's saying something!" Mrs Tonks said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

'**Delighted – and young Master Malfoy, too – charmed. How may I be of assistance? I must show you, just in today, and very reasonably priced –'**

'**I'm not buying today, Mr Borgin, but selling,' said Mr Malfoy.**

'**Selling?' The smile faded slightly from Mr Borgin's face.**

'**You have heard, of course, that the Ministry is conducting more raids,' said Mr Malfoy, taking a roll of parchment from his inside pocket and unravelling it for Mr Borgin to read. 'I have a few – ah – items at home that might embarrass me, if the Ministry were to call ...'**

Mr Weasley looked raptly at Snape as he read. How he wished he'd known that before that day! He could have had the chance to get Malfoy once and for all!

**Mr Borgin fixed a pince-nez to his nose and looked down the list. 'The Ministry wouldn't presume to trouble you, sir, surely?'**

**Mr Malfoy's lip curled. 'I have not been visited yet. The name Malfoy still commands a certain respect, **

"That's because you corrupted half the Ministry and the other half is just the definition of idiots!" Tonks snorted in disgust, "And then there are those few who know the difference between right and wrong!"

**yet the Ministry grows ever more meddlesome. There are rumours about a new Muggle Protection Act – no doubt that flea-bitten, Muggle-loving fool Arthur Weasley **

"Hey!" Ginny cried in a rage as her parents and brothers looked grim.

**is behind it –' Harry felt a hot surge of anger. **

"Thank you, Harry!" smiled Mr Weasley.

'– **and as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear –'**

'**I understand, sir, of course,' said Mr Borgin. 'Let me see ...'**

'**Can I have that?' interrupted Draco, pointing at the withered hand on its cushion.**

'**Ah, the Hand of Glory!' said Mr Borgin, abandoning Mr Malfoy's list and scurrying over to Draco. 'Insert a candle and it gives light only to the holder! Best friend of thieves and plunderers! Your son has fine taste, sir.'**

'**I hope my son will amount to more than a thief or a plunderer, Borgin,' said Mr Malfoy coldly and Mr Borgin said quickly, 'No offence, sir, no offence meant –'**

'**Though if his school marks don't pick up,' said Mr Malfoy, more coldly still, 'that may indeed be all he is fit for.'**

'**It's not my fault,' retorted Draco. 'The teachers all have favourites, **

"Actually..."

Ron shot a nasty look at Snape but didn't dare finish that sentence.

**that Hermione Granger –'**

'**I would have thought you'd be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam,' snapped Mr Malfoy.**

'**Ha!' said Harry under his breath, pleased to see Draco looking both abashed and angry.**

Everyone beamed at Hermione who now understood why Harry had looked so proud of her earlier.

'**It's the same all over,' said Mr Borgin, in his oily voice. 'Wizard blood is counting for less everywhere –'**

"Thank Merlin for that!" Andromeda Tonks shrieked, grasping her husband's hand.

'**Not with me,' said Mr Malfoy, his long nostrils flaring.**

'**No, sir, nor with me, sir,' said Mr Borgin, with a deep bow.**

'**In that case, perhaps we can return to my list,' said Mr Malfoy shortly. 'I am in something of a hurry, Borgin, I have important business elsewhere today.'**

**They started to haggle. Harry watched nervously as Draco drew nearer and nearer to his hiding place, examining the objects for sale. He paused to examine a long coil of hangman's rope and to read, smirking, the card propped on a magnificent necklace of opals: Caution: Do Not Touch. Cursed – Has Claimed the Lives of Nineteen Muggle Owners to Date.**

**Draco turned away and saw the cabinet right in front of him. He walked forward ... he stretched out his hand for the handle …**

Everyone held his/her breath.

'**Done,' said Mr Malfoy at the counter. 'Come, Draco!'**

"That was close!" Neville gasped.

"Not as close as it really was, I assure you!"

**Harry wiped his forehead on his sleeve as Draco turned away.**

'**Good day to you, Mr Borgin, I'll expect you at the manor tomorrow to pick up the goods.'**

**The moment the door had closed, Mr Borgin dropped his oily manner.**

'**Good day yourself, _Mister_ Malfoy, and if the stories are true, you haven't sold me half of what's hidden in your manor ...'**

**Muttering darkly, Mr Borgin disappeared into a back room. **

"Not even Borgin likes the Malfoys..." said Percy.

"Who does?" Charlie asked his brother.

**Harry waited for a minute in case he came back, then, quietly as he could, slipped out of the cabinet, past the glass cases and out of the shop door.**

**Clutching his broken glasses to his face he stared around. He had emerged into a dingy alleyway that seemed to be made up entirely of shops devoted to the Dark Arts.**

**The one he'd just left, Borgin and Burkes, looked like the largest, but opposite was a nasty window display of shrunken heads, and two doors down, a large cage was alive with gigantic black spiders. **

Sirius shrugged, "Only in Knockturn Alley you can find so many Acromantulas..."

"That's not entirely true, Sirius," said Ron, looking affronted as he frowned at Hagrid who stared at him blankly, "You'll see!"

He was still upset with Hagrid for sending them in the Forbidden Forest to see Aragog and he hadn't had the chance to say anything yet.

**Two shabby-looking wizards were watching him from the shadow of a doorway, muttering to each other. Feeling jumpy, Harry set off, trying to hold his glasses on straight and hoping against hope he'd be able to find a way out of there.**

**An old wooden street sign hanging over a shop selling poisonous candles told him he was in Knockturn Alley. This didn't help, as Harry had never heard of such a place. **

"Thank Merlin, may I add!" Remus said.

"Now I have heard of such a place..." Harry retorted.

**He supposed he hadn't spoken clearly enough through his mouthful of ashes back in the Weasleys' fire. **

"You suppose?" Ron teased.

"Shut up, Ron!"

**Trying to stay calm, he wondered what to do.**

'**Not lost are you, my dear?' said a voice in his ear, making him jump.**

**An aged witch stood in front of him, holding a tray of what looked horribly like whole human fingernails. She leered at him, showing mossy teeth. Harry backed away.**

'**I'm fine, thanks,' he said. 'I'm just –'**

'**HARRY! What d'yeh think yer doin' down there?'**

"And that's Hagrid to the rescue!" cheered Tonks.

"Three cheers for Hagrid!" Ron cried.

"You will refrain from doing such stupid things while I am reading, Mr Weasley." Snape snarled, angry that he'd been interrupted again.

"You will refrain from telling my son what to do when he's not at school, Professor Snape," retorted Mr Weasley, in a stern tone that didn't really suit him, "Go on, Ronald," Ron grinned and he and the other students went on cheering for Hagrid, making everyone laugh, "But afterwards I want you all to stop interrupting unless you have something important to say."

"Oh, Arthur, there's no point in even trying!" said Mrs Weasley.

"If I may, Professor Snape," said dreamily Luna Lovegood, who'd been quiet for a while, "Personally I do not see the harm in enjoying ourselves during the reading. We'll read about terrible things so I think we should lighten the mood by joking around a little bit..."

Snape looked like he wanted to retort but a look from Dumbledore was enough to quiet him down.

"I agree with you, Luna," said Sirius, "However, you see, Severus here didn't have a sense of humour back in school and I do not think he developed one during these past years."

"Should we talk about your sense of humour, _Sirius_?" snarled Snape, "I believe you thought it was _funny_ to have me fed to a full grown werewolf!"

"Severus, you will stop referring to that joke," Dumbledore said sternly, "And you, Sirius, will act your age. I don't want to reprimand you on this matter again!"

**Harry's heart leapt. So did the witch; a load of fingernails cascaded down over her feet and she cursed as the massive form of Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper, came striding towards them, beetle-black eyes flashing over his great bristling beard.**

"Still can' believe I found yeh in Knockturn Alley..."

'**Hagrid!' Harry croaked in relief. 'I was lost ... Floo powder ...'**

**Hagrid seized Harry by the scruff of the neck and pulled him away from the witch, knocking the tray right out of her hands. Her shrieks followed them all the way along the twisting alleyway out into bright sunlight. Harry saw a familiar, snow-white marble building in the distance: Gringotts bank. Hagrid had steered him right into Diagon Alley.**

"Thank Merlin you were there, Hagrid!" Mrs Weasley sighed, "I don't know what could've happened if you hadn't found him!"

'**Yer a mess!' said Hagrid gruffly, brushing soot off Harry so forcefully he nearly knocked him into a barrel of dragon dung outside an apothecary's. **

Fred and George screwed their noses, "Nasty!"

'**Skulkin' around Knockturn Alley, I dunno – dodgy place, Harry – don' want no one ter see yeh down there –'**

'**I realised that,' said Harry, ducking as Hagrid made to brush him off again. 'I told you, I was lost – what were you doing down there, anyway?'**

'**I was lookin' fer a Flesh-Eatin' Slug Repellent,' growled Hagrid. 'They're ruinin' the school cabbages. Yer not on yer own?'**

'**I'm staying with the Weasleys but we got separated,' Harry explained. 'I've got to go and find them ...'**

**They set off together down the street.**

'**How come yeh never wrote back ter me?' said Hagrid, as Harry jogged alongside him (he had to take three steps to every stride of Hagrid's enormous boots). **

"I'll walk slower next time, Harry," Hagrid promised.

**Harry explained all about Dobby and the Dursleys.**

'**Ruddy Muggles,' growled Hagrid. 'If I'd've known –'**

"It would've been great to see the return of Dudley's pig tail!" sighed Bill.

"That was seriously amazing, Hagrid!" Sirius grinned.

Lupin rolled his eyes, "Sirius, don't..."

"What?" asked Sirius, confused. Lupin tilted his head and Sirius got the hint. He threw back his head and laughed, "I haven't thought about that stupid pun in years!"

'**Harry! Harry! Over here!'**

**Harry looked up and saw Hermione Granger standing at the top of the white flight of steps to Gringotts. She ran down to meet them, her bushy brown hair flying behind her.**

"Is 'bushy' really the appropriate word?" asked Hermione, slightly upset that the only thing people noticed of her was her hair.

'**What happened to your glasses? Hello, Hagrid ... Oh, it's wonderful to see you two again ... Are you coming into Gringotts, Harry?'**

'**As soon as I've found the Weasleys,' said Harry.**

'**Yeh won't have long ter wait,' grinned Hagrid.**

**Harry and Hermione looked around; sprinting up the crowded street were Ron, Fred, George, Percy and Mr Weasley.**

"That was a scare if I ever knew one!" exclaimed Mr Weasley.

'**Harry,' Mr Weasley panted. 'We hoped you'd only gone one grate too far ...' He mopped his glistening bald patch. 'Molly's frantic**

"That's an understatement..." Ron told Harry.

His mother glared at him.

– **she's coming now.'**

'**Where did you come out?' Ron asked.**

'**Knockturn Alley,' said Hagrid grimly.**

'**Brilliant!' said Fred and George together.**

"I learnt very soon how much it's not," said Sirius, "Since that one time when Uncle Cygnus brought me there to pick a present for my seventh birthday."

"In Knockturn Alley?" Mr Weasley asked, shocked.

"I was asking questions about the family traditions," Sirius explained, "I was so scared I chose a book on Dark magic just so I could go home."

"This Cygnus character sounds terrible!" said Tonks.

"Actually he's your grandfather, Dora," said Andromeda, exchanging a look of shared shame with her cousin, "And Draco's grandfather too."

'**We've never been allowed in,' said Ron enviously.**

"That's because normal people don't allow their children in Knockturn Alley!" Mrs Weasley shrieked disapprovingly at her sons.

'**I should ruddy well think not,' growled Hagrid.**

**Mrs Weasley now came galloping into view, her handbag swinging wildly in one hand, Ginny just clinging onto the other.**

"I had a quick tour of Diagon Alley that way..." Ginny said, grinning at her mother.

'**Oh, Harry – oh, my dear – you could have been anywhere –'**

**Gasping for breath she pulled a large clothes brush out of her bag and began sweeping off the soot Hagrid hadn't managed to beat away. Mr Weasley took Harry's glasses, gave them a tap of his wand and returned them, good as new.**

'**Well, gotta be off,' said Hagrid, who was having his hand wrung by Mrs Weasley ('Knockturn Alley! If you hadn't found him, Hagrid!'). 'See yer at Hogwarts!' And he strode away, head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the packed street.**

'**Guess who I saw in Borgin and Burkes?' Harry asked Ron and Hermione as they climbed the Gringotts steps. 'Malfoy and his father.'**

'**Did Lucius Malfoy buy anything?' said Mr Weasley sharply behind them.**

'**No, he was selling.'**

'**So he's worried,' said Mr Weasley with grim satisfaction. 'Oh, I'd love to get Lucius Malfoy for something ...'**

'**You be careful, Arthur,' said Mrs Weasley sharply, as they were ushered into the bank by a bowing goblin at the door. 'That family's trouble, don't go biting off more than you can chew.'**

"At least there's someone brave enough to bite Lucius Malfoy!" said Sirius reasonably.

'**So you don't think I'm a match for Lucius Malfoy?' said Mr Weasley indignantly, **

"You know I think you're more than a match for Lucius Malfoy, dear." said Mrs Weasley lovingly.

"Don't worry," said Ron, exchanging a dark look with his sister and Harry, "At the end of this book, if you are not out for blood I don't know what can make you run out for blood!"

**but he was distracted almost at once by the sight of Hermione's parents, who were standing nervously at the counter that ran all along the great marble hall, waiting for Hermione to introduce them.**

"By the way, Hermione, your parents are very nice people," beamed Mr Weasley, "They answered all my questions about the Muggle world and promised to explain some more if I ever have any questions!"

Hermione smiled at the kind man, "They found you very nice as well and would like to meet you again soon!"

'**But you're Muggles!' said Mr Weasley delightedly. 'We must have a drink! What's that you've got there? Oh, you're changing Muggle money. Molly, look!' He pointed excitedly at the ten-pound notes in Mr Granger's hand.**

"Dad, that was really embarrassing!" Ron reprimanded, remembering how he'd thought the Grangers had thought his father was insane.

'**Meet you back here,' Ron said to Hermione, as the Weasleys and Harry were led off to their underground vaults by another Gringotts goblin.**

**The vaults were reached by means of small, goblin-driven carts that sped along miniature train-tracks through the bank's underground tunnels. Harry enjoyed the breakneck journey down to the Weasleys' vault, but felt dreadful, far worse than he had in Knockturn Alley, when it was opened. There was a very small pile of silver Sickles inside, and just one gold Galleon. **

"You have a very good heart, Harry, dear," said Mrs Weasley, "I don't want you to feel bad like this."

**Mrs Weasley felt right into the corners before sweeping the whole lot into her bag.**

Bill and Charlie felt bad. They'd never considered how poor their family really was, especially with four out of seven children still in school. What relief must have been for their parents when their first three children had found a job. Exchanging a look, Bill, Charlie and Percy decided that they had to convince their parents to let them lend some money. It wasn't as if they hadn't been on their father's pay-check for years too... maybe it was time to give something back.

**Harry felt even worse when they reached his vault. He tried to block the contents from view as he hastily shoved handfuls of coins into a leather bag.**

"You're ridiculous, mate," said Ron, but his voice and his face betrayed how sensitive he got when money matters were discussed.

**Back outside on the marble steps, they all separated. **

**Percy muttered vaguely about needing a new quill. Fred and George had spotted their friend from Hogwarts, Lee Jordan. Mrs Weasley and Ginny were going to a second-hand robe shop. Mr Weasley was insisting on taking the Grangers off to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink.**

'**We'll all meet at Flourish and Blotts in an hour to buy your school books,' said Mrs Weasley, setting off with Ginny. 'And not one step down Knockturn Alley!' she shouted at the twins' retreating backs.**

Reminded of that, Mrs Weasley glared alarmingly at her sons, who held their hands up in defeat, "We didn't go!"

**Harry, Ron and Hermione strolled off along the winding, cobbled street. The bag of gold, silver and bronze jangling cheerfully in Harry's pocket was clamouring to be spent, so he bought three large strawberry and peanut-butter ice-creams which they slurped happily as they wandered up the alley, examining the fascinating shop windows. Ron gazed longingly at a full set of Chudley Cannon robes in the windows of 'Quality Quidditch Supplies' until Hermione dragged them off to buy ink and parchment next door. In Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop, they met Fred, George and Lee Jordan, who were stocking up on 'Dr Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks', and in a tiny junk shop full of broken wands, wonky brass scales and old cloaks covered in potion stains they found Percy, deeply immersed in a small and deeply boring book called Prefects Who Gained Power.**

Sirius was clearly dying to say something but, as he had no relationship with Percy just yet he refrained himself from saying anything offensive. The twins, having no knowledge of that particular meeting between their brother and Harry, Ron and Hermione, gave him hell until their mother shouted at them to shut up and let Professor Snape read.

'**A study of Hogwarts Prefects and their later careers,' Ron read aloud off the back cover. 'That sounds fascinating ...'**

'**Go away,' Percy snapped.**

''**Course, he's very ambitious, Percy, he's got it all planned out ... he wants to be Minister of Magic ...' **

"What's wrong with that?" asked Percy, offended.

**Ron told Harry and Hermione in an undertone, as they left Percy to it.**

**An hour later, they headed for Flourish and Blotts. They were by no means the only ones making their way to the bookshop. As they approached it, they saw to their surprise a large crowd jostling outside the doors, trying to get in. The reason for this was proclaimed by a large banner stretched across the upper windows:**

Severus Snape's eyes gave a dangerous twitch.

**GILDEROY LOCKHART**

Minerva McGonagall's eyes gave a dangerous twitch.

**will be signing copies of his autobiography**

Even Hagrid's eyes gave a dangerous twitch.

**MAGICAL ME**

**today 12.30 – 4.30 pm**

'**We can actually meet him!' Hermione squealed. 'I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!'**

Hermione blushed as the others laughed not understanding why Harry, Ron, Ginny and Dumbledore looked so grave.

**The crowd seemed to be made up mostly of witches around Mrs Weasley's age. **

"And that's saying something!" Mr Weasley joked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Mrs Weasley.

**A harassed-looking wizard stood at the door, saying, 'Calmly, please ladies ... don't push, there ... mind the books, now ...'**

**Harry, Ron and Hermione squeezed inside. A long queue wound right to the back of the shop, where Gilderoy Lockhart was signing his books. They each grabbed a copy of Break with a Banshee, and sneaked up the line to where the rest of the Weasleys were standing with Mr and Mrs Granger.**

'**Oh, there you are, good,' said Mrs Weasley. She sounded breathless and kept patting her hair. 'We'll be able to see him in a minute ...'**

Harry and Ron exchanged a look. They'd told Ginny that Lockhart had planned to leave her to be killed by the Basilisk, because, they thought, as shocking as that might have been for her to hear, she had a right to know the truth.

**Gilderoy Lockhart came slowly into view, seated at a table surrounded by large pictures of his own face, all winking and flashing dazzlingly white teeth at the crowd. The real Lockhart was wearing robes of forget-me-not blue which exactly matched his eyes; his pointed wizard's hat was set at a jaunty angle on his wavy hair.**

**A short, irritable-looking man was dancing around taking photographs with a large black camera that emitted puffs of purple smoke with every blinding flash.**

'**Out of the way, there,' he snarled at Ron, moving back to get a better shot. 'This is for the Daily Prophet.'**

'**Big deal,' said Ron, rubbing his foot where the photographer had stepped on it.**

**Gilderoy Lockhart heard him. He looked up. He saw Ron – and then he saw Harry. **

"That was the beginning of the hell that was second year!" Harry told his godfather.

**He stared. Then he leapt to his feet and positively shouted, 'It can't be Harry Potter?'**

**The crowd parted, whispering excitedly. Lockhart dived forward, seized Harry's arm and pulled him to the front. The crowd burst into applause. Harry's face burned as Lockhart shook his hand for the photographer, who was clicking away madly, wafting thick smoke over the Weasleys.**

'**Nice big smile, Harry,' said Lockhart, through his own gleaming teeth. 'Together, you and I are worth the front page.'**

Seeing Snape's face as he read in a dangerous monotone, Harry was surprised that the book hadn't burnt into ashes yet.

**When he finally let go of Harry's hand, Harry could hardly feel his fingers. He tried to sidle back over to the Weasleys, but Lockhart threw an arm around his shoulders and clamped him tightly to his side.**

"I can feel that 'Bugger' you thought at that moment, Harry," said Tonks, "I met Lockhart once, he's bonkers!"

Harry and Ron laughed grimly, "You have no idea!"

'**Ladies and gentlemen,' he said loudly, waving for quiet. 'What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography – which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge –' **

"I didn't want it." said Harry.

"But, as his books were terrible, he made you a favour not making you spending money on it!" said Ron, with Neville, the twins, Ginny and even Percy nodding in approval, "We had to pay for it!"

"**the crowd applauded again,'– he had no idea,' Lockhart continued, giving Harry a little shake that made his glasses slip to the end of his nose, 'that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his school fellows will, in fact, be getting the real, magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that, this September, I will be taking up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!'**

**The crowd cheered and clapped and Harry found himself being presented with the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart. Staggering slightly under their weight, he managed to make his way out of the limelight to the edge of the room, where Ginny was standing next to her new cauldron.**

"But hell had just started, hadn't it?" asked Ron, grinning at his father.

'**You have these,' Harry mumbled to her, tipping the books into the cauldron. 'I'll buy my own –'**

'**Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?' said a voice Harry had no trouble recognising.**

"Oh, no, this again!" moaned Tonks as her mother's face burned with shame. Sirius just sighed.

**He straightened up and found himself face to face with Draco Malfoy, who was wearing his usual sneer.**

'**Famous Harry Potter,' said Malfoy. 'Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.'**

"As if he wanted that!" Mrs Weasley clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

'**Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!' said Ginny. It was the first time she had spoken in front of Harry. **

"Hurray for Ginny!" cheered Tonks. Ginny hid her face in her hands.

**She was glaring at Malfoy.**

'**Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!' drawled Malfoy.**

"Yes, because _he_ can!" Neville growled at the book.

Ginny's six brothers looked at Harry as if x-raying him.

**Ginny went scarlet as Ron and Hermione fought their way over, both clutching stacks of Lockhart's books.**

"Mum insisted we got them signed..." Ron shook his head in defeat.

'**Oh, it's you,' said Ron, looking at Malfoy as if he were something unpleasant on the sole of his shoe. **

"He clearly is."

'**Bet you're surprised to see Harry here, eh?'**

'**Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley,' retorted Malfoy. 'I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for that lot.'**

Everyone went red with rage at the comment. Even Dumbledore had grown tired of Malfoy's ridiculous jokes. The Weasleys were seething but no one more than Ron or Mr Weasley, who looked so very much alike now.

**Ron went as red as Ginny. He dropped his books into the cauldron, too, and started towards Malfoy, but Harry and Hermione grabbed the back of his jacket.**

'**Ron!' said Mr Weasley, struggling over with Fred and George. 'What are you doing? It's mad in here, let's go outside.'**

'**Well, well, well – Arthur Weasley.'**

**It was Mr Malfoy. He stood with his hand on Draco's shoulder, sneering in just the same way.**

"Lucius's sneer often reminds me of a toilet seat," Sirius said blankly, making everyone laugh, "Mind you, it's been a while since I've seen such an ugly toilet seat..."

'**Lucius,' said Mr Weasley, nodding coldly.**

'**Busy time at the Ministry, I hear,' said Mr Malfoy. 'All those raids ... I hope they're paying you overtime?' He reached into Ginny's cauldron and extracted, from amidst the glossy Lockhart books, a very old, very battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration. 'Obviously not,' he said. 'Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?'**

Mrs Weasley was shaking with rage. She hadn't heard that part of the argument, she'd arrived when she'd seen her husband punching Lucius Malfoy. She now understood very well why her husband had acted the way he did. In fact, she was proud he hadn't cursed Malfoy... she would've probably done much worse.

**Mr Weasley flushed darker than either Ron or Ginny. 'We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy,' he said.**

'**Clearly,' said Mr Malfoy, his pale eyes straying to Mr and Mrs Granger, who were watching apprehensively. 'The company you keep, Weasley ... and I thought your family could sink no lower –'**

**There was a thud of metal as Ginny's cauldron went flying; Mr Weasley had thrown himself at Mr Malfoy, knocking him backwards into a bookshelf. Dozens of heavy spellbooks came thundering down on all their heads; there was a yell of 'Get him, Dad!' from Fred or George; Mrs Weasley was shrieking, 'No, Arthur, no! '; the crowd stampeded backwards, knocking more shelves over; 'Gentlemen, please – please!' cried the assistant and then, louder than all, 'Break it up, there, gents, break it up –' **

"That's as amazing as Hagrid giving Dudley that pig tail!" Sirius shouted.

Every other adult was still considering whether congratulating Mr Weasley for doing something many had wanted to do for years and not encouraging the fact that he'd punched someone in front of his children. Thankfully, they could congratulate Mr Weasley as they wanted because his children knew better than doing something like this. Right?

**Hagrid was wading towards them through the sea of books. In an instant he had pulled Mr Weasley and Mr Malfoy apart. Mr Weasley had a cut lip and Mr Malfoy had been hit in the eye by an Encyclopedia of Toadstools. He was still holding Ginny's old transfiguration book. He thrust it at her, his eyes glittering with malice.**

'**Here, girl – take your book – it's the best your father can give you –'**

Ted Tonks, who hadn't spoken for a while, shrugged and sighed, "Some people are rotten to the core!" he said wisely.

**Pulling himself out of Hagrid's grip he beckoned to Draco and swept from the shop.**

'**Yeh should've ignored him, Arthur,' said Hagrid, almost lifting Mr Weasley off his feet as he straightened his robes. 'Rotten ter the core, the whole family, everyone knows that. No Malfoy's worth listenin' ter. Bad blood, that's what it is. Come on now – let's get outta here.'**

**The assistant looked as though he wanted to stop them leaving, but he barely came up to Hagrid's waist and seemed to think better of it. They hurried up the street, the Grangers shaking with fright **

"Please send my apologies to your parents for this again, Hermione," Mr Weasley said tiredly, "I am so sorry they had to witness that!"

**and Mrs Weasley beside herself with fury.**

'**A fine example to set to your children ... **

"Don't worry, Mum, " grinned Bill.

**brawling in public ... **

"It's still amazing!" Sirius said in awe.

**what Gilderoy Lockhart must've thought ...'**

"Who cares?" asked George.

Ron was seething with rage every time Lockhart was mentioned. He still couldn't believe someone could leave his sister to be killed by a Basilisk!

'**He was pleased,' said Fred. 'Didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that bloke from the Daily Prophet if he'd be able to work the fight into his report – said it was all publicity.'**

"Good for him!" Lupin said sarcastically. He didn't like the sound of this Lockhart character. He thought he remembered him from school but they hadn't even been acquaintances, so he didn't know what to think.

**But it was a subdued group who headed back to the fireside in the Leaky Cauldron, where Harry, the Weasleys and all their shopping would be travelling back to The Burrow using Floo powder. They said goodbye to the Grangers, who were leaving the pub for the Muggle street on the other side. Mr Weasley started to ask them how bus stops worked, but stopped quickly at the look on Mrs Weasley's face.**

"You're a killjoy, Mum!" laughed Ginny, feeling a little better now that no one was insulting her family anymore in the book.

**Harry took off his glasses and put them safely in his pocket before helping himself to Floo powder. It definitely wasn't his favourite way to travel.**

"Oh, my!" Fred gasped, "I had no idea!"

"Really!" George gasped as well, "Who would have guessed!"

"Shut up, you two!" Harry said but he was smiling as Snape dropped the book in Lupin's hands as if it could burn him if he held it one moment longer.


	5. Chapter 5: The Whomping Willow

**Author's note****: It took a little less to write this chapter! **

**Thanks a lot for being so patient with me and to take your time to read my stories! Thanks a lot for the lovely reviews as well, although, as someone wishes for me to include subjects I do not agree with, I should tell you that this is a Reading the Books story, so I will abide to what the books say, also because – as I said – I do not agree with subjects like Harry being abused by the Dursleys or other things. I will follow canon. **

**As for Harry being the grandson of Charlus and Dorea Potter I will probably mention that, as I would love for him and Sirius to be related. However, in this regard, I feel it might be better to ask for your opinion. **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

Lupin rolled his eyes at Snape while taking the book. Why had Severus to be always so ill-tempered? Was there no one in the world he liked? At all?

— **CHAPTER FIVE —**

**The Whomping Willow**

Sirius glanced at Harry, frowning, "What did the Whomping Willow do to you?"

Snape snorted derisively, "The question should be 'what did you do to the Whomping Willow'..."

**The end of the summer holidays came too quickly for Harry's liking. He was looking forward to getting back to Hogwarts, but his month at The Burrow had been the happiest of his life. **

The Weasley children beamed.

"We're very glad you had a good time with us, Harry!" said Mr Weasley.

"You can stay with us any time, dear!" said Mrs Weasley.

**It was difficult not to feel jealous of Ron **

"You're jealous of me?" Ron asked, amazed.

"Think about it, Ron," Harry told him, "You have a loving family, which is what I've always wanted."

Andromeda glanced at her cousin. She knew from his letters how much he'd envied James for the same reason.

**when he thought of the Dursleys and the sort of welcome he could expect next time he turned up in Privet Drive.**

Ron rolled his eyes, "Now I get it!"

**On their last evening, Mrs Weasley conjured up a sumptuous dinner which included all of Harry's favourite things, ending with a mouthwatering treacle pudding.**

"I noticed you liked treacle tarts and pudding, dear."

**Fred and George rounded off the evening with a display of Filibuster fireworks; they filled the kitchen with red and blue stars that bounced from ceiling to wall for at least half an hour. **

"Those are always awesome!" Bill approved his brothers' choice.

**Then it was time for a last mug of hot chocolate and bed.**

**It took a long while to get started next morning. They were up at cock-crow, but somehow they still seemed to have a great deal to do. Mrs Weasley dashed about in a bad mood looking for spare socks and quills, people kept colliding on the stairs, half-dressed with bits of toast in their hands, and Mr Weasley nearly broke his neck, tripping over a stray chicken as he crossed the yard carrying Ginny's trunk to the car.**

"That's not unusual with a large family," said Mrs Weasley, sighing at the memory, "Still, be more careful, Arthur."

**Harry couldn't see how eight people, six large trunks, two owls and a rat were going to fit into one small Ford Anglia.**

**He had reckoned, of course, without the special features which Mr Weasley had added.**

Mr Weasley paled.

Everyone now understood what Harry meant when he'd said that Mrs Weasley, though kind-faced, could look remarkably like a sabre-toothed tiger.

"What special features?" she hissed to her husband.

He was much taller than her but still cowered in front of her rage.

'**Not a word to Molly,' he whispered to Harry as he opened the boot and showed him how it had been magically expanded so that the trunks fitted easily. **

"Arthur!" Mrs Weasley reprimanded.

**When at last they were all in the car, Mrs Weasley glanced into the back seat, where Harry, Ron, Fred, George and Percy were all sitting comfortably side by side, and said, 'Muggles do know more than we give them credit for, don't they?' She and Ginny got into the front seat, which had been stretched so that it resembled a park bench. 'I mean, you'd never know it was this roomy from the outside, would you?'**

"That's because it usually isn't!" said Ted Tonks unnecessarily, just for the fun of seeing Mr Weasley being glared at by his wife.

**Mr Weasley started up the engine and they trundled out of the yard, Harry turning back for a last look at the house.**

"Aww!"

"Shut up, Ron!"

**He barely had time to wonder when he'd see it again when they were back: **

"That was fast!" Tonks laughed.

**George had forgotten his box of Filibuster fireworks. Five minutes after that, they skidded to a halt in the yard so that Fred could run in for his broomstick. They had almost reached the motorway when Ginny shrieked that she'd left her diary. **

Everyone noticed Ginny, Harry and Ron looking very gloomy. Mrs Weasley put her arm about her daughter, momentarily forgetting about being angry at her husband.

**By the time she had clambered back into the car, they were running very late, and tempers were running high.**

**Mr Weasley glanced at his watch and then at his wife.**

'**Molly, dear –'**

'**No, Arthur.'**

'**No one would see. This little button here is an Invisibility Booster I installed – that'd get us up in the air – then we fly above the clouds. We'd be there in ten minutes and no one would be any the wiser ...'**

Mrs Weasley glared at her husband again. Mr Weasley smiled sheepishly, "What do you know? I was wrong!"

'**I said no, Arthur, not in broad daylight.'**

**They reached King's Cross at a quarter to eleven. Mr Weasley dashed across the road to get trolleys for their trunks and they all hurried into the station.**

Mrs Weasley glared at her children now, "You could've dashed with your father!"

**Harry had caught the Hogwarts Express the previous year. The tricky bit was getting onto platform nine and three-quarters, which wasn't visible to the Muggle eye. What you had to do was walk through the solid barrier dividing platforms nine and ten. It didn't hurt, but it had to be done carefully so that none of the Muggles noticed you vanishing.**

'**Percy first,' said Mrs Weasley, looking nervously at the clock overhead, which showed they had only five minutes to disappear casually through the barrier.**

**Percy strode briskly forward and vanished. Mr Weasley went next, Fred and George followed.**

'**I'll take Ginny and you two come right after us,' Mrs Weasley told Harry and Ron, grabbing Ginny's hand and setting off. In the blink of an eye they were gone.**

'**Let's go together, we've only got a minute,' Ron said to Harry.**

**Harry made sure that Hedwig's cage was safely wedged on top of his trunk and wheeled his trolley about to face the barrier. He felt perfectly confident; this wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as using Floo powder. Both of them bent low over the handles of their trolleys and walked purposefully towards the barrier, gathering speed. A few feet away from it, they broke into a run and –**

**CRASH.**

"Crash?" asked Sirius.

"It says 'crash'," Remus assured him.

**Both trolleys hit the barrier and bounced backwards.**

"So much for acting casually..." sighed Mrs Tonks sharing a look of bewilderment with the others. The professors, Hagrid, and Mr and Mrs Weasley just shrugged in defeat. Fred, George and Neville grinned.

**Ron's trunk fell off with a loud thump, Harry was knocked off his feet, and Hedwig's cage bounced onto the shiny floor and she rolled away, shrieking indignantly. People all around them stared and a guard nearby yelled, 'What in blazes d'you think you're doing?'**

'**Lost control of the trolley,' Harry gasped, clutching his ribs as he got up. Ron ran to pick up Hedwig, who was causing such a scene that there was a lot of muttering about cruelty to animals from the surrounding crowd.**

'**Why can't we get through?' Harry hissed to Ron.**

'**I dunno –' Ron looked wildly around. **

**A dozen curious people were still watching them. 'We're going to miss the train,' Ron whispered. 'I don't understand why the gateway's sealed itself ...'**

**Harry looked up at the giant clock with a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Ten seconds ... nine seconds ...**

**He wheeled his trolley forward cautiously until it was right against the barrier, and pushed with all his might. The metal remained solid.**

**Three seconds ... two seconds ... one second ...**

'**It's gone,' said Ron, sounding stunned. 'The train's left. What if Mum and Dad can't get back through to us? **

"We could've Apparated!" snapped Mrs Weasley.

**Have you got any Muggle money?'**

**Harry gave a hollow laugh. 'The Dursleys haven't given me pocket money for about six years.'**

**Ron pressed his ear to the cold barrier.**

"That's a stupid thing to do, Ron," stated Percy.

'**Can't hear a thing,' he said tensely. 'What're we going to do? I don't know how long it'll take Mum and Dad to get back to us.'**

**They looked around. People were still watching them, mainly because of Hedwig's continuing screeches.**

"You may want to stop acting weird in front of Muggles," said Percy.

'**I think we'd better go and wait by the car,' said Harry. 'We're attracting too much atten—'**

"You had that conversation in front of curious Muggles?" Tonks asked, "Merlin's beard, I don't want to be there when Mad-Eye Moody finds out about this!"

"Who's Mad-Eye Moody?" asked Hermione and Harry looked curious too.

"'Who's Mad-Eye Moody?', she says..." Tonks laughed it off.

"He's a very capable Auror, now retired, and a good friend too." said Dumbledore.

'**Harry!' said Ron, his eyes gleaming. 'The car!'**

"SO!" Mrs Weasley exploded, "IT WAS YOUR STUPID IDEA!"

"You already punished me, Mum..."

"That you did, Molly..."

"Shut up, Arthur!"

"What about the car?" Sirius asked, "It's not like you can fly it to Hog – oh, no, you didn't!"

'**What about it?'**

'**We can fly the car to Hogwarts!'**

"That's awesome!" Sirius shouted.

"IT'S NOT AWESOME!" screamed Mrs Weasley, "What kind of example do you set for children?!"

Sirius held up his hands, "It's not a good idea to actually _do_ it but the idea in itself is indeed awesome!"

'**But I thought –'**

Lupin rushed to read the rest of the chapter. It was a long way to go and it would take even longer if he let Mrs Weasley start shouting at Sirius.

'**We're stuck, right? And we've got to get to school, haven't we? And even underage wizards are allowed to use magic if it's a real emergency, **

"That's not a real emergency, Ronald," said Mr Weasley sternly, "You would've done much better to wait for us!"

**section nineteen or something of the Restriction of Thingy ...'**

"It's nice to know that our students know our laws so much..." Dumbledore commented airily.

"It would be good to hire someone to teach a class about it," suggested Mrs Tonks, "Even purebloods don't know much until they finish their studies."

"We shall think about it."

**Harry's feeling of panic turned suddenly to excitement.**

"That's James' blood for sure," Lupin told Sirius.

"Don't we know it!"

'**Can you fly it?'**

'**No problem,' **

"Where do you learn how to drive a car by the way?" Luna asked dreamily.

"Usually Muggles have driving lessons when they become of age," said Harry, "I don't know how it works for wizards."

"You obviously have to blend with Muggles and attend their driving lessons..." said Sirius.

**said Ron, wheeling his trolley around to face the exit. 'C'mon, let's go, if we hurry we'll be able to follow the Hogwarts Express.'**

**And they marched off through the crowd of curious Muggles, **

"You should really thank Merlin Mad-Eye is not here!" laughed Tonks.

**out of the station and back into the side road where the old Ford Anglia was parked.**

**Ron unlocked the cavernous boot with a series of taps from his wand. They heaved their trunks back in, put Hedwig on the back seat and got into the front.**

'**Check no one's watching,' said Ron, starting the ignition with another tap of his wand.**

There is no need to reiterate that Mrs Weasley was still glaring at her son, clearly still upset about that particular event. Yet it would be good to notice that her husband looked rather grim himself as he remembered the consequences of that particular event.

**Harry stuck his head out of the window: traffic was rumbling along the main road ahead, but their street was empty.**

'**OK,' he said.**

**Ron pressed a tiny silver button on the dashboard. The car around them vanished – and so did they. Harry could feel the seat vibrating beneath him, hear the engine, feel his hands on his knees and his glasses on his nose, but for all he could see, he had become a pair of eyeballs, floating a few feet above the ground in a dingy street full of parked cars.**

"That's very ingenious, Mr Weasley," said Sirius. They'd decided to go on a first-name basis but Sirius knew they were all still very suspicious of him so he was trying to be as polite as possible, "After a Muggle policeman almost arrested James and me I have been looking for a spell to make my motorbike invisible as well but then, you know, some events took my mind off it."

Mr Weasley was clearly fighting between the pride for the spells he'd put on that car and the fact that he still didn't know the truth about Sirius, "I could give you the spell, if you like."

'**Let's go,' said Ron's voice from his right.**

**The ground and the dirty buildings on either side fell away, dropping out of sight as the car rose; in seconds, the whole of London lay, smoky and glittering, below them.**

**Then there was a popping noise and the car, Harry and Ron reappeared.**

'**Uh oh,' said Ron, jabbing at the Invisibility Booster. 'It's faulty –'**

**Both of them pummelled it. The car vanished. Then it flickered back again.**

'**Hold on!' Ron yelled, and he slammed his foot on the accelerator; they shot straight into the low woolly clouds and everything turned dull and foggy.**

'**Now what?' said Harry, blinking at the solid mass of cloud pressing in on them from all sides.**

'**We need to see the train to know what direction to go in,' said Ron. **

'**Dip back down again – quickly –'**

**They dropped back beneath the clouds and twisted around in their seats, squinting at the ground –**

'**I can see it!' Harry yelled. 'Right ahead – there!'**

**The Hogwarts Express was streaking along below them like a scarlet snake.**

'**Due north,' said Ron, checking the compass on the dashboard. 'OK, we'll just have to check on it every half an hour or so. Hold on ...' And they shot up through the clouds.**

**A minute later, they burst out into a blaze of sunlight.**

**It was a different world. The wheels of the car skimmed the sea of fluffy cloud, the sky a bright, endless blue under the blinding white sun.**

'**All we've got to worry about now are aeroplanes,' said Ron.**

**They looked at each other and started to laugh; for a long time, they couldn't stop.**

**It was as though they had been plunged into a fabulous dream. This, thought Harry, was surely the only way to travel: past swirls and turrets of snowy cloud, in a car full of hot, bright sunlight, with a fat pack of toffees in the glove compartment, and the prospect of seeing Fred and George's jealous faces **

"Oh we were jealous." said Fred.

"Up until the consequences!" George laughed evilly.

**when they landed smoothly and spectacularly on the sweeping lawn in front of Hogwarts castle.**

"Oh, Harry," sighed Hermione, "It never happens like this!"

"Don't worry," said Harry, "I lost hope long ago!"

**They made regular checks on the train as they flew further and further north, each dip beneath the clouds showing them a different view. London was soon far behind them, replaced by neat green fields which gave way in turn to wide, purplish moors, villages with tiny toy churches and a great city alive with cars like multi-coloured ants.**

"So that's how much fun you were having while Arthur and I were worrying sick!" Mrs Weasley shrieked, "And then your father had to answer all those questions!"

**Several uneventful hours later, however, Harry had to admit that some of the fun was wearing off. **

"I would say so..." said Luna dreamily.

She wasn't speaking much but Harry imagined she had to get to know the group a bit better.

**The toffees had made them extremely thirsty and they had nothing to drink.**

**He and Ron had pulled off their jumpers, but Harry's T-shirt was sticking to the back of his seat and his glasses kept sliding down to the end of his sweaty nose. **

"What a terrible image!" said Tonks.

**He had stopped noticing the fantastic cloud shapes now, and was thinking longingly of the train miles below, where you could buy icecold pumpkin juice from a trolley pushed by a plump witch.**

**Why hadn't they been able to get onto platform nine and three-quarters?**

"Oh, yeah!" said Tonks, "Did you ever find out why?"

"I did," said Harry. His godfather was looking at him expectantly but Harry shook his head, "I won't say anything else."

'**Can't be much further, can it?' croaked Ron, hours later still, as the sun started to sink into their floor of cloud, staining it a deep pink. 'Ready for another check on the train?'**

**It was still right below them, winding its way past a snowcapped mountain. It was much darker beneath the canopy of clouds.**

**Ron put his foot on the accelerator and drove them upwards again, but as he did so, the engine began to whine. Harry and Ron exchanged nervous glances.**

'**It's probably just tired,' said Ron. 'It's never been this far before ...'**

**And they both pretended not to notice the whining growing louder and louder as the sky became steadily darker. Stars were blossoming in the blackness. Harry pulled his jumper back on, trying to ignore the way the windscreen wipers were now waving feebly, as though in protest.**

'**Not far,' said Ron, more to the car than to Harry, 'not far now,' and he patted the dashboard nervously.**

**When they flew back beneath the clouds a little while later, they had to squint through the darkness for a landmark they knew.**

'**There!' Harry shouted, making Ron and Hedwig jump. 'Straight ahead!'**

**Silhouetted on the dark horizon, high on the cliff over the lake, stood the many turrets and towers of Hogwarts castle.**

**But the car had begun to shudder and was losing speed.**

"Oh-oh!" said Charlie.

'**Come on,' Ron said cajolingly, giving the steering wheel a little shake, 'nearly there, come on –'**

**The engine groaned. Narrow jets of steam were issuing from under the bonnet. Harry found himself gripping the edges of his seat very hard as they flew towards the lake.**

**The car gave a nasty wobble. Glancing out of his window, Harry saw the smooth, black, glassy surface of the water, a mile below. Ron's knuckles were white on the steering wheel. The car wobbled again.**

'**Come on,' Ron muttered.**

**They were over the lake ... the castle was right ahead … Ron put his foot down. There was a loud clunk, a splutter, and the engine died completely.**

"Of course!" Hermione sighed in defeat.

'**Uh oh,' said Ron, into the silence.**

**The nose of the car dropped. **

"Merlin's beard!" shouted Ted Tonks, "You're going to crash! From that height!"

**They were falling, gathering speed, heading straight for the solid castle wall.**

'**Noooooo!' Ron yelled, swinging the steering wheel around; they missed the dark stone wall by inches as the car turned in a great arc, soaring over the dark greenhouses, then the vegetable patch and then out over the black lawns, losing height all the time.**

**Ron let go of the steering wheel completely and pulled his wand out of his back pocket.**

'**STOP! STOP!' he yelled, whacking the dashboard and the windscreen, but they were still plummeting, the ground flying up towards them ...**

'**MIND THAT TREE!' **

"Tree?" asked Lupin, stopping to read for a moment because of a terrible feeling that had taken hold of him, "What tree?"

Snape snorted.

**Harry bellowed, lunging for the steering wheel, but too late –**

**CRUNCH.**

**With an ear-splitting bang of metal on wood, they hit the thick tree trunk and dropped to the ground with a heavy jolt. **

**Steam was billowing from under the crumpled bonnet; Hedwig was shrieking in terror, a golf-ball-sized lump was throbbing on Harry's head where he had hit the windscreen, and to his right, Ron let out a low, despairing groan.**

'**Are you OK?' Harry said urgently.**

'**My wand,' said Ron, in a shaky voice. 'Look at my wand.'**

**It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on by a few splinters.**

"Thank Merlin it's not your neck!" said Bill.

**Harry opened his mouth to say he was sure they'd be able to mend it up at the school, but he never even got started. At that very moment, something hit his side of the car with the force of a charging bull, sending him lurching sideways into Ron, just as an equally heavy blow hit the roof.**

'**What's happen—?'**

**Ron gasped, staring through the windscreen, and Harry looked around just in time to see a branch as thick as a python smash into it. The tree they had hit was attacking them. Its trunk was bent almost double, and its gnarled boughs were pummelling every inch of the car it could reach.**

Sirius groaned, "For Merlin's sake!" he exclaimed, "Did you _crash_ on the Whomping Willow?"

"It certainly looks like you did..." said Lupin just as exhausted.

"You're lucky to be able to tell the tale!"

"Believe me," said Harry, "We _know_!"

'**Aaargh!' said Ron, as another twisted limb punched a large dent into his door; the windscreen was now trembling under a hail of blows from knuckle-like twigs and a branch as thick as a battering ram was pounding furiously on the roof, which seemed to be caving in –**

"Ron!" screamed Mrs Weasley, forgetting how mad she was at her son in the face of the danger he'd been in.

'**Run for it!' Ron shouted, throwing his full weight against his door, but next second he had been knocked backwards into Harry's lap by a vicious upper cut from another branch.**

'**We're done for!' he moaned, as the ceiling sagged, but suddenly the floor of the car was vibrating – the engine had re-started.**

'**Reverse!' Harry yelled, and the car shot backwards. The tree was still trying to hit them; they could hear its roots creaking as it almost ripped itself up, lashing out at them as they sped out of reach.**

'**That,' panted Ron, 'was close. Well done, car.'**

**The car, however, had reached the end of its tether. **

"Poor car..." sighed Ginny.

**With two smart clunks, the doors flew open and Harry felt his seat tip sideways: next thing he knew he was sprawled on the damp ground. Loud thuds told him that the car was ejecting their luggage from the boot. Hedwig's cage flew through the air and burst open; she rose out of it with a loud, angry screech and sped off towards the castle without a backwards look. **

"Can you blame her?" Charlie asked.

**Then, dented, scratched and steaming, the car rumbled off into the darkness, its rear lights blazing angrily. **

'**Come back!' Ron yelled after it, brandishing his broken wand. 'Dad'll kill me!'**

"I certainly was tempted!" Mr Weasley glared at his youngest son.

**But the car disappeared from view with one last snort from its exhaust.**

'**Can you believe our luck?' said Ron miserably, bending down to pick up Scabbers the rat. **

Ron glanced at Sirius darkly, "I really hope he got sick."

Sirius nodded.

The others wondered what that was all about. Ron had always loved that rat even when he complained of how pathetic it was... why was he looking so gloomy and sharing that look with Sirius Black of all people?

To distract them, Lupin went on reading.

'**Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.'**

**He glanced over his shoulder at the ancient tree, which was still flailing its branches threateningly.**

'**Come on,' said Harry wearily, 'we'd better get up to the school ...'**

**It wasn't at all the triumphant arrival they had pictured.**

"I'd say!" said Bill.

**Stiff, cold and bruised, they seized the ends of their trunks and began dragging them up the grassy slope, towards the great oak front doors.**

'**I think the feast's already started,' said Ron, dropping his trunk at the foot of the front steps and crossing quietly to look through a brightly lit window. 'Hey, Harry, come and look – it's the Sorting!'**

**Harry hurried over and, together, he and Ron peered in at the Great Hall.**

**Innumerable candles were hovering in mid-air over four long, crowded tables, making the golden plates and goblets sparkle. Overhead, the bewitched ceiling which always mirrored the sky outside, sparkled with stars.**

**Through the forest of pointed black Hogwarts hats, Harry saw a long line of scared-looking first-years filing into the Hall. Ginny was amongst them, easily visible because of her vivid Weasley hair. **

Ginny blushed, happy that Harry had noticed her even at the time.

**Meanwhile, Professor McGonagall, a bespectacled witch with her hair in a tight bun, was placing the famous Hogwarts Sorting Hat on a stool before the newcomers.**

**Every year, this aged old hat, patched, frayed and dirty, sorted new students into the four Hogwarts houses (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin). Harry well remembered putting it on, exactly one year ago, and waiting, petrified, for its decision as it muttered aloud in his ear. For a few horrible seconds he had feared that the hat was going to put him in Slytherin, the house which had turned out more dark witches and wizards than any other – but he had ended up in Gryffindor, along with Ron, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys. Last term, Harry and Ron had helped Gryffindor win the House Championship, **

"And I did nothing, did I?" Hermione questioned.

"You know, you did, Hermione!"

**beating Slytherin for the first time in seven years.**

**A very small, mousey-haired boy had been called forward to place the hat on his head.**

"Isn't it Colin?" asked Ginny.

"Oh, yeah!"

**Harry's eyes wandered past him to where Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster, sat watching the Sorting from the staff table, his long silver beard and half-moon glasses shining brightly in the candlelight. Several seats along, Harry saw Gilderoy Lockhart, dressed in robes of aquamarine. **

"Who dresses in robes of aquamarine?" Sirius asked Lupin.

"I don't know..." Lupin answered, "Witches?"

"Mostly," agreed George, "Don't you agree, Fred?"

"Indeed!"

"Well, that Lockhart bloke has always been an odd one..." sighed Lupin.

"Completely bonkers, that's for sure!" Sirius agreed.

"And if Sirius says so..." Snape drawled.

While Sirius glared at the Potions master, Harry looked at Lupin, "Lockhart was at school with you?"

Lupin glanced at Sirius and Snape for confirmation, "A couple of years above us?"

**And there at the end was Hagrid, huge and hairy, drinking deeply from his goblet.**

'**Hang on ...' Harry muttered to Ron. 'There's an empty chair at the staff table ... Where's Snape?'**

**Professor Severus Snape was Harry's least favourite teacher. Harry also happened to be Snape's least favourite student. Cruel, sarcastic and disliked by everybody except the students from his own house (Slytherin), Snape taught Potions.**

'**Maybe he's ill!' said Ron hopefully.**

"Ron!" his mother reprimanded, "You don't wish that on people!"

'**Maybe he's left,' said Harry, 'because he missed out on the Defence Against the Dark Arts job again!'**

"Careful, Mr Potter!" hissed Snape.

'**Or he might have been sacked!' said Ron enthusiastically. 'I mean, everyone hates him –'**

"I wouldn't fire Severus for that," said Dumbledore, "He's a very capable teacher, although I do agree that you need to work on your people skills, Severus."

Snape rolled his eyes. Sirius was looking at him intently, silently reminding him their truce.

'**Or maybe,' said a very cold voice right behind them, 'he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train.'**

**Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape. He was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose and greasy, shoulder-length black hair, and at this moment, he was smiling in a way that told Harry he and Ron were in very deep trouble.**

"Severus, you sure know how to make an entrance!" said Mrs Tonks.

'**Follow me,' said Snape.**

**Not daring even to look at each other, Harry and Ron followed Snape up the steps into the vast, echoing Entrance Hall, which was lit with flaming torches. A delicious smell of food was wafting from the Great Hall, but Snape led them away from the warmth and light, down a narrow stone staircase that led into the dungeons.**

'**In!' he said, opening a door halfway down the cold passageway and pointing.**

**They entered Snape's office, shivering. The shadowy walls were lined with shelves of large glass jars, in which floated all manner of revolting things Harry didn't really want to know the name of at the moment. The fireplace was dark and empty. Snape closed the door and turned to look at them.**

'**So,' he said softly, 'the train isn't good enough for the famous Harry Potter and his faithful sidekick Weasley. Wanted to arrive with a bang, did we, boys?'**

'**No, sir, it was the barrier at King's Cross, it –'**

'**Silence!' said Snape coldly. 'What have you done with the car?'**

**Ron gulped. This wasn't the first time Snape had given Harry the impression of being able to read minds. **

"That's because he can," said Dumbledore, "Severus is a very accomplished Occlumens." "What's an Occlumens?" Harry asked.

"We'll explain later," said Lupin, "Or else we're never going to finish this book. It's only chapter five!"

"Why don't we make a list of things we don't understand and then we can talk about it at tea?" asked Hermione.

"That's a good idea, Miss Granger," said Dumbledore, "Do you mind being in charge of this list?"

"Not at all!" said Hermione briskly and took quill and parchment from her trunk upstairs. When she'd written 'Occlumency' on the parchment, Lupin began reading again.

**But a moment later, he understood, as Snape unrolled today's issue of the Evening Prophet.**

'**You were seen,' he hissed, showing them the headline:**

**FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIES MUGGLES. **

**He began to read aloud. '"Two Muggles in London, convinced they saw an old car flying over the Post Office tower ... at noon in Norfolk, Mrs Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing … Mr Angus Fleet, of Peebles, reported to police" ... six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father works in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office?' he said, looking up at Ron and smiling still more nastily. 'Dear, dear ... his own son ...'**

**Harry felt as though he'd just been walloped in the stomach by one of the mad tree's larger branches. If anyone found out Mr Weasley had bewitched the car ... he hadn't thought of that …**

"Obviously!" Mrs Weasley hissed dangerously.

'**I noticed, in my search of the park, that considerable damage seems to have been done to a very valuable Whomping Willow,' Snape went on.**

'**That tree did more damage to us than we –' Ron blurted out.**

'**Silence!' snapped Snape **

"'Snapped Snape'?" Fred asked, incapable of being serious, "I'm sorry, Professor, but it's a cool pun!"

Snape rolled his eyes but as even Dumbledore was laughing at the pun he couldn't possibly tell off the Weasley boy in front of his parents. He would have his revenge at Hogwarts.

**again. 'Most unfortunately, you are not in my house and the decision to expel you does not rest with me. I shall go and fetch the people who do have that happy power. You will wait here.'**

**Harry and Ron stared at each other, white-faced. Harry didn't feel hungry any more. He now felt extremely sick. He tried not to look at a large, slimy something suspended in green liquid on a shelf behind Snape's desk. If Snape had gone to fetch Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house, they were hardly any better off. She might be fairer than Snape, but she was still extremely strict.**

**Ten minutes later, Snape returned, and sure enough it was Professor McGonagall who accompanied him. Harry had seen Professor McGonagall angry on several occasions, but either he had forgotten just how thin her mouth could go, or he had never seen her this angry before.**

**She raised her wand the moment she entered. Harry and Ron both flinched, but she merely pointed it at the empty fireplace, where flames suddenly erupted.**

'**Sit,' she said, and they both backed into chairs by the fire.**

'**Explain,' she said, her glasses glinting ominously.**

**Ron launched into the story, starting with the barrier at the station refusing to let them through.**

'**... so we had no choice, Professor, we couldn't get on the train.'**

'**Why didn't you send us a letter by owl? I believe you have an owl?' Professor McGonagall said coldly to Harry.**

**Harry gaped at her. Now she said it, that seemed the obvious thing to have done.**

'**I – I didn't think –'**

'**That,' said Professor McGonagall, 'is obvious.'**

**There was a knock on the office door and Snape, now looking happier than ever,**

"That's just wrong, Severus!"

**opened it. There stood the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.**

**Harry's whole body went numb. Dumbledore was looking unusually grave. He stared down his very crooked nose at them and Harry suddenly found himself wishing he and Ron were still being beaten up by the Whomping Willow.**

"So there is someone who can make you feel guilty!" McGonagall gasped.

"Professor Lupin also makes a good job," Harry smiled at his father's friend.

Lupin smiled back, "Please, Harry, call me Remus, I'm no longer your teacher."

"Of course Remus makes a good job!" Sirius exclaimed, "He had lots of training by making James and me feel guilty!"

"He made _you_ feel guilty?" McGonagall asked, "No one believes that, Mr Black!"

Lupin just laughed it off.

**There was a long silence. Then Dumbledore said, 'Please explain why you did this.'**

**It would have been better if he had shouted. Harry hated the disappointment in his voice. For some reason, he was unable to look Dumbledore in the eyes, and spoke instead to his knees. He told Dumbledore everything except that Mr Weasley owned the bewitched car, making it sound as though he and Ron had happened to find a flying car parked outside the station. He knew Dumbledore would see through this at once, but Dumbledore asked no questions about the car. When Harry had finished, he merely continued to peer at them through his spectacles.**

'**We'll go and get our stuff,' said Ron in a hopeless sort of voice.**

'**What are you talking about, Weasley?' barked Professor McGonagall.**

'**Well, you're expelling us, aren't you?' said Ron.**

**Harry looked quickly at Dumbledore.**

'**Not today, Mr Weasley,' said Dumbledore. 'But I must impress upon both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to both your families tonight. **

"I never asked, Professor," Harry said, "You were aware of the fact that the Dursleys would only regret that the Whomping Willow hadn't killed me, right?"

**I must also warn you that if you do anything like this again, I will have no choice but to expel you.'**

**Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled.**

"Another delightful image!" laughed Sirius and Snape glared at him.

**He cleared his throat and said, 'Professor Dumbledore, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry, caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree ... surely acts of this nature ...'**

'**It will be for Professor McGonagall to decide on these boys' punishments, Severus,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'They are in her house and are therefore her responsibility.'**

**He turned to Professor McGonagall. 'I must go back to the feast, Minerva, I've got to give out a few notices. Come, Severus, there's a delicious-looking custard tart I want to sample.'**

**Snape shot a look of pure venom at Harry and Ron as he allowed himself to be swept out of his office, leaving them alone with Professor McGonagall, who was still eyeing them like a wrathful eagle.**

'**You'd better get along to the hospital wing, Weasley, you're bleeding.'**

'**Not much,' said Ron, hastily wiping the cut over his eye with his sleeve. 'Professor, I wanted to watch my sister being Sorted –'**

'**The Sorting Ceremony is over,' said Professor McGonagall. 'Your sister is also in Gryffindor.'**

'**Oh, good,' said Ron.**

'**And speaking of Gryffindor –' Professor McGonagall said sharply, but Harry cut in: 'Professor, when we took the car, term hadn't started, so – so Gryffindor shouldn't really have points taken from it, should it?' he finished, watching her anxiously.**

"You still remember losing a hundred and fifty points the previous year, don't you?" Tonks asked.

"I do..."

**Professor McGonagall gave him a piercing look, but he was sure she had almost smiled. Her mouth looked less thin, anyway.**

"You're right," Sirius confirmed, as he and the Weasley twins knew better than anyone McGonagall's thin mouth.

'**I will not take any points from Gryffindor,' she said, and Harry's heart lightened considerably. 'But you will both get a detention.'**

"That's fair!" beamed Tonks, "Take it from a Hufflepuff!"

**It was better than Harry had expected. As for Dumbledore's writing to the Dursleys, that was nothing. Harry knew perfectly well they'd just be disappointed that the Whomping Willow hadn't squashed him flat. **

"These Dursleys are the Muggle equivalent of the Black family," Sirius told his cousin, "Isn't it a depressing thought?"

Andromeda sighed, "No, at least these people cannot go around cursing people if they wish!"

"You have a point, I suppose..."

**Professor McGonagall raised her wand again and pointed it at Snape's desk. A large plate of sandwiches, two silver goblets and a jug of iced pumpkin juice appeared with a pop.**

'**You will eat in here and then go straight up to your dormitory,' she said. 'I must also return to the feast.'**

**When the door had closed behind her, Ron let out a long, low whistle.**

'**I thought we'd had it,' he said, grabbing a sandwich.**

'**So did I,' said Harry, taking one too.**

'**Can you believe our luck, though?' said Ron thickly through a mouthful of chicken and ham. 'Fred and George must've flown that car five or six times and no Muggle ever saw them.' He swallowed and took another huge bite. 'Why couldn't we get through the barrier?'**

**Harry shrugged. 'We'll have to watch our step from now on, though,' he said, taking a grateful swig of pumpkin juice. 'Wish we could've gone up to the feast ...'**

'**She didn't want us showing off,' said Ron sagely. 'Doesn't want people to think it's clever, arriving by flying car.' **

Mrs Weasley and her husband glanced at each other. They were very proud of their children. Clearly Ron had learnt from that mistake.

**When they had eaten as many sandwiches as they could (the plate kept re-filling itself) they rose and left the office, treading the familiar path to Gryffindor Tower. The castle was quiet; it seemed that the feast was over. They walked past muttering portraits and creaking suits of armour, and climbed narrow flights of stone stairs, until at last they reached the passage where the secret entrance to Gryffindor Tower was hidden, behind an oil painting of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress.**

'**Password?' she said, as they approached. **

'**Er –' said Harry.**

**They didn't know the new year's password, not having met a Gryffindor Prefect yet, but help came almost immediately; they heard hurrying feet behind them and turned to see Hermione dashing towards them.**

'**There you are! Where have you been? The most ridiculous rumours – someone said you'd been expelled for crashing a flying car.'**

'**Well, we haven't been expelled,' Harry assured her.**

'**You're not telling me you did fly here?' said Hermione, sounding almost as severe as Professor McGonagall.**

"I'd take it as a compliment, Miss Granger," said Professor Dumbledore.

"Indeed!" Hermione beamed at her Transfiguration professor.

'**Skip the lecture,' said Ron impatiently, 'and tell us the new password.'**

'**It's "wattlebird",' said Hermione impatiently, 'but that's not the point –'**

**Her words were cut short, however, as the portrait of the fat lady swung open and there was a sudden storm of clapping. It looked as though the whole of Gryffindor house was still awake, packed into the circular common room, standing on the lop-sided tables and squashy armchairs, waiting for them to arrive. Arms reached through the portrait hole to pull Harry and Ron inside, leaving Hermione to scramble in after them.**

'**Brilliant!' yelled Lee Jordan. 'Inspired! What an entrance! Flying a car right into the Whomping Willow, people'll be talking about that one for years!'**

"Sadly no one did after those attacks on Muggleborns started," Fred told George, "We should remind people of our brother's moment of glory!"

"You should not!" reprimanded Professor McGonagall at once, "Merlin knows we don't need other students try to fly a car to the school!"

'**Good on you,' said a fifth-year Harry had never spoken to; someone was patting him on the back as though he'd just won a marathon. Fred and George pushed their way to the front of the crowd and said together, 'Why couldn't you've called us back, eh?' Ron was scarlet in the face, grinning embarrassedly, but Harry could see one person who didn't look happy at all. **

Percy nodded at Harry, knowing Potter felt a little guiltier than Ron. However, Percy could understand Ron's excitement as he understood just as well his younger brother's need to shine. This had been one time when Ron had shined brighter than the twins, making him rather popular.

**Percy was visible over the heads of some excited first-years, and he seemed to be trying to get near enough to start telling them off. Harry nudged Ron in the ribs and nodded in Percy's direction.**

**Ron got the point at once. 'Got to get upstairs – bit tired,' he said, and the two of them started pushing their way towards the door on the other side of the room, which led to a spiral staircase and the dormitories.**

'**Night,' Harry called back to Hermione, who was wearing a scowl just like Percy's.**

"Did you manage to tell them off, Hermione?" Lupin asked, "I know how tiring it is to look after your friends..."

"Tiring?" asked Sirius, "You had no right to reprimand us in the first place as you were always in on it!"

"Is that right, Remus?" Professor McGonagall enquired dangerously.

"Er –"

**They managed to get to the other side of the common room, still having their backs slapped, and gained the peace of the staircase. They hurried up it, right to the top, and at last reached the door of their old dormitory, which now had a sign on it saying 'second-years'. They entered the familiar, circular room, with its five four-posters hung with red velvet and its high, narrow windows. Their trunks had been brought up for them and placed at the ends of their beds.**

**Ron grinned guiltily at Harry.**

'**I know I shouldn't've enjoyed that or anything, but –'**

**The dormitory door flew open and in came the other second-year Gryffindor boys, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom.**

'**Unbelievable!' beamed Seamus.**

'**Cool,' said Dean.**

'**Amazing,' said Neville, awestruck. **

"Not you too, Neville, dear!" moaned Mrs Weasley.

**Harry couldn't help it. He grinned, too.**

The adults were shaking their heads in despair.

Sirius looked as though he shared the Weasley twins admiration for what Harry and Ron had done but a stern look from Lupin – and Dumbledore – prevented him from saying anything out loud.

"Who's next?" Lupin asked, offering the book.

"I'd like to read!" Luna said in her dreamy voice.

Lupin smiled at her, "Please, Luna!"


	6. Chapter 6: Gilderoy Lockhart

**Author's note****: Yay! I finished another chapter! It took less time! I had a free afternoon today and I managed to concentrate and finish this. Let's hope you like this new chapter! **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

"Should I do the voices?" asked Luna Lovegood as she took the book from Lupin.

"Yes!" Fred grinned, "We should all do that and then award a prize to the one who did the best voices!"

Mrs Weasley, Professor McGonagall and Snape looked horrified at the mere idea. Hagrid didn't mind, Sirius looked rather interested in the idea, Dumbledore seemed to agree with them, and Lupin just laughed it off. George was grinning with a mischievous-looking face matching his brother's, "Of course, all of you should participate! Even you, Professor Snape!"

"I will do nothing of the sort!" hissed Snape immediately.

"Come on, Severus!" Dumbledore said cheerfully, "It will be fun!"

Snape glared at him, "I only came here because you said these books would reveal a way to destroy the Dark Lord," he snapped, "All we've found out up until now is that Potter, Weasley and Granger have broken even more rules than we were aware of!"

"It's decided, then!" Dumbledore clapped his hands happily, gaining himself a frightened look from McGonagall, "We'll have a contest on the best performer!"

"Wait!"

"Professor Dumbledore –"

"Go on, please, Luna!"

— **CHAPTER SIX —**

**Gilderoy Lockhart**

Snape and McGonagall couldn't help their pained looks at the mere mention of that name.

**The next day, however, Harry barely grinned once. **

**Things started to go downhill from breakfast in the Great Hall. **

It was Ron's turn to share a pained look with Harry. Harry swallowed. He still felt guilty when he thought of how reckless he and Ron had been.

**The four long house tables were laden with tureens of porridge, plates of kippers, mountains of toast and dishes of eggs and bacon, beneath the enchanted ceiling (today, a dull, cloudy grey). Harry and Ron sat down at the Gryffindor table next to Hermione, who had her copy of Voyages with Vampires propped open against a milk jug. There was a slight stiffness in the way she said 'Morning' which told Harry that she was still disapproving of the way they had arrived. **

"Are you surprised?" Percy asked.

**Neville Longbottom, on the other hand, greeted them cheerfully. Neville was a round-faced and accident-prone boy with the worst memory of anyone Harry had ever met.**

Neville tilted his head, "Er – I suppose it's fitting..."

'**Post's due any minute – I think Gran's sending on a few things I forgot.'**

**Harry had only just started his porridge when, sure enough, there was a rushing sound overhead and a hundred or so owls streamed in, circling the Hall and dropping letters and packages into the chattering crowd. A big, lumpy parcel bounced off Neville's head, and a second later, something large and grey fell into Hermione's jug, spraying them all with milk and feathers.**

"That's Errol." Ron stated blankly.

'**Errol!' said Ron, pulling the bedraggled owl out by the feet. Errol slumped, unconscious, onto the table, his legs in the air **

"That poor owl!"

**and a damp red envelope in his beak.**

"Ouch!" said Sirius, knowing well what a red envelope meant.

"Mum, really!" Bill sighed, "I know you wanted to punish him but did you have to do that in the middle of the Great Hall?"

Mrs Weasley glared at him, "Well, now he will think twice before doing something like this again!"

Mr Weasley chuckled, "You're ruthless, dear!"

'**Oh no –' Ron gasped.**

'**It's all right, he's still alive,' said Hermione, prodding Errol gently with the tip of her finger.**

'**It's not that – it's that.'**

**Ron was pointing at the red envelope. It looked quite ordinary to Harry, but Ron and Neville were both looking at it as though they expected it to explode.**

"That's because it does!" Tonks said, feeling Ron's embarrassment. She'd been there when her mother had sent her a Howler because she'd punched a Slytherin who'd insulted her.

'**What's the matter?' said Harry.**

'**She's – she's sent me a Howler,' said Ron faintly.**

'**You'd better open it, Ron,' said Neville, in a timid whisper. 'It'll be worse if you don't. My Gran sent me one once, and I ignored it and –' he gulped, 'it was horrible.'**

**Harry looked from their petrified faces to the red envelope.**

'**What's a Howler?' he said.**

**But Ron's whole attention was fixed on the letter, which had begun to smoke at the corners.**

'**Open it,' Neville urged. 'It'll all be over in a few minutes ...'**

"Good advice, Neville!"

**Ron stretched out a shaking hand, eased the envelope from Errol's beak and slit it open. Neville stuffed his fingers in his ears. A split second later, Harry knew why. He thought for a moment it had exploded; a roar of sound filled the huge Hall, shaking dust from the ceiling.**

"Nicely done!" Mrs Tonks congratulated Mrs Weasley.

'**... STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEYD EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT HAD GONE ...'**

**Mrs Weasley's yells, a hundred times louder than usual, made the plates and spoons rattle on the table, and echoed deafeningly off the stone walls. People throughout the Hall were swivelling around to see who had received the Howler and Ron sank so low in his chair that only his crimson forehead could be seen.**

"That did something about your popularity, didn't it?" Sirius asked. Ron glared at him and Sirius smiled at him, "It's not a big deal, Ron, I got two Howlers a week for bringing shame to my family!"

"Were you a troublemaker?" Percy asked curiously.

"Indeed I was but the Howlers were because, quoting my dear old mother, 'I associated with Mudbloods!'"

'**... LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED ...'**

**Harry had been wondering when his name was going to crop up. He tried very hard to look as though he couldn't hear the voice that was making his eardrums throb.**

"Did it work?" Harry asked the other students.

"No." Hermione answered.

'**... ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED, YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME.'**

**A ringing silence fell. The red envelope, which had dropped from Ron's hand, burst into flames and curled into ashes. Harry and Ron sat stunned, as though a tidal wave had just passed over them. A few people laughed and gradually, a babble of talk broke out again.**

**Hermione closed Voyages with Vampires and looked down at the top of Ron's head.**

'**Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you –'**

'**Don't tell me I deserved it,' snapped Ron.**

"You have Remus's timing, Hermione." Sirius said.

"Shut up, Sirius!"

**Harry pushed his porridge away. His insides were burning with guilt. Mr Weasley was facing an inquiry at work. After all Mr and Mrs Weasley had done for him over the summer ...**

**But he had no time to dwell on this; Professor McGonagall was moving along the Gryffindor table, handing out timetables. Harry took his, and saw that they had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first.**

**Harry, Ron and Hermione left the castle together, crossed the vegetable patch and made for the greenhouses, where the magical plants were kept. At least the Howler had done one good thing: Hermione seemed to think they had now been punished enough and was being perfectly friendly again.**

"Hurray!" Ron said sarcastically.

Hermione glared at him while the others laughed.

**As they neared the greenhouses they saw the rest of the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout. Harry, Ron and Hermione had only just joined them when she came striding into view across the lawn, accompanied by Gilderoy Lockhart. Professor Sprout's arms were full of bandages, and with another twinge of guilt, Harry spotted the Whomping Willow in the distance, several of its branches now in slings.**

"Don't worry, Potter," said McGonagall, looking rather triumphant herself, "She said it was worth it when Lockhart was hit right in the stomach!"

**Professor Sprout was a squat little witch who wore a patched hat over her flyaway hair; there was usually a large amount of earth on her clothes, and her fingernails would have made Aunt Petunia faint. **

"I propose we ask Professor Sprout to come over to those Muggles and see how that works out!" Bill cried.

"Why, it's a wonderful idea!" Tonks cheered.

"I agree!" said Charlie.

"Professor, can you arrange it with Professor Sprout?" Ginny asked McGonagall.

**Gilderoy Lockhart, however, was immaculate in sweeping robes of turquoise, his golden hair shining under a perfectly positioned turquoise hat with gold trimming.**

Sirius looked confused, "Who dresses like that?"

'**Oh, hello there!' Lockhart called, beaming around at the assembled students. 'Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels ...'**

'**Greenhouse Three today, chaps!' said Professor Sprout, who was looking distinctly disgruntled, not at all her usual cheerful self.**

"What can he possibly have done to have Pomona get mad at him!?" asked Lupin, not believing that the Herbology professor could ever be angry.

**There was a murmur of interest. They had only ever worked in Greenhouse One before – Greenhouse Three housed far more interesting and dangerous plants.**

**Professor Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. Harry caught a whiff of damp earth and fertiliser, mingling with the heavy perfume of some giant, umbrella-sized flowers dangling from the ceiling. **

"You know, I find this Muggle-related metaphors fascinating!" said Mr Weasley.

His wife sighed, "You would..."

**He was about to follow Ron and Hermione inside when Lockhart's hand shot out.**

'**Harry! I've been wanting a word – you don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?'**

**Judging by Professor Sprout's scowl, she did mind, but Lockhart said, 'That's the ticket,' and closed the greenhouse door in her face.**

"Still think he's so cool, Mum?" asked George.

"He probably didn't notice she was upset!"

Harry and Ginny saw Ron grow scarlet with rage but Harry leaned over and whispered in his ear, reminding him that Mrs Weasley didn't know that the coward would have left her daughter in the Chamber of Secrets. Ron suddenly brightened at the thought of what his parents would do once they knew and he gained himself loads of confused looks.

'**Harry,' said Lockhart, his large white teeth gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head. 'Harry, Harry, Harry.' Completely nonplussed, Harry said nothing. 'When I heard – well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself.' Harry had no idea what he was talking about. He was about to say so when Lockhart went on, 'Don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you'd done it. Stood out a mile. Harry, Harry, Harry.'**

"Now I feel nonplussed myself..." said Charlie, "What's he on about?"

**It was remarkable how he could show every one of those brilliant teeth even when he wasn't talking.**

'**Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I?' said Lockhart. 'Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again.'**

Everyone blanked at that, even Snape. Lupin looked at his friend's son, "Is he serious?"

'**Oh – no, Professor, see –'**

'**Harry, Harry, Harry,' said Lockhart, reaching out and grasping his shoulder. 'I understand. Natural to want a bit more once you've had that first taste – and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head**

Snape tilted his head, "Well, he is James Potter's son..."

"Oh, come on, Severus!" snapped Professor McGonagall, "Stop talking ill of the dead! And you know very well that his son is more like Lily than James!"

– **but see here, young man, you can't start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. **

"James would've done that in a heart beat!" Sirius told Lupin with a fond smile.

"Well, I'm not sure," Remus answered, "Lily wouldn't have been impressed with it, would she?"

"Has that ever stopped Potter from doing anything?" snapped Snape.

"Of course not!" laughed Sirius.

A moment later, he and Snape were looking at each other, blank with shock that they had actually agreed on something. Dumbledore smiled to himself. Was the truce starting to give its fruits?

**Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! "It's all right for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!" **

"I wasn't thinking that!"

**But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. **

"Harry's not a nobody!" Ginny yelled at the book, still upset that she'd had a crush on that man.

**In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? **

"A few people?" Percy asked incredulously.

**All that business with He Who Must Not Be Named!' He glanced at the lightning scar on Harry's forehead. 'I know, I know, it's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, **

Bill had a weird blank expression, something between confused and disgusted.

Charlie looked at him with the same expression.

"No, it's not!" said Tonks, "It's much better than winning Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row!"

**as I have – but it's a start, Harry, it's a start.'**

**He gave Harry a hearty wink and strode off. **

"This bloke's bonkers," Sirius decided firmly, "I mean, I've been twelve years in Azkaban and I feel saner than him!"

Knowing that Harry wouldn't lie about it and that the books were telling the truth, Mrs Weasley was starting to having doubts about Lockhart. Clearly fame had gotten to his head. Who would believe that Harry enjoyed fame? Back at Flourish and Blotts, the poor boy was obviously dying of embarrassment!

Hermione had fought all year against what she'd thought was Harry and Ron's prejudice but now that she could see Harry's perspective, she could see that her friends had a point.

**Harry stood stunned for a few seconds, then, remembering he was supposed to be in the greenhouse, he opened the door and slid inside.**

**Professor Sprout was standing behind a trestle bench in the centre of the greenhouse. About twenty pairs of different-coloured earmuffs were lying on the bench. When Harry had taken his place between Ron and Hermione, she said, 'We'll be re-potting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?'**

**To nobody's surprise, Hermione's hand was first into the air. 'Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative,' said Hermione, sounding as usual as though she had swallowed the textbook. 'It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed, to their original state.'**

'**Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor,' said Professor Sprout. 'The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?'**

**Hermione's hand narrowly missed Harry's glasses as it shot up again.**

"You do that practically every day."

"Sorry, Harry!"

'**The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it,' she said promptly.**

'**Precisely. Take another ten points,' said Professor Sprout. 'Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young.'**

**She pointed to a row of deep trays as she spoke and everyone shuffled forward for a better look. A hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in colour, were growing there in rows. They looked quite unremarkable to Harry, who didn't have the slightest idea what Hermione meant by the 'cry' of the Mandrake.**

'**Everyone take a pair of earmuffs,' said Professor Sprout.**

**There was a scramble as everyone tried to seize a pair that wasn't pink and fluffy.**

"Ah, yes, the pink earmuff!" Fred remembered.

"Who ended up using it?"

Neville rolled his eyes, "Guess who?"

'**When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered,' said Professor Sprout. 'When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs-up. Right – earmuffs on.'**

**Harry snapped the earmuffs over his ears. They shut out sound completely. Professor Sprout put a pink fluffy pair over her own ears, rolled up the sleeves of her robes, grasped one of the tufty plants firmly, and pulled hard. Harry let out a gasp of surprise that no one could hear.**

**Instead of roots, a small, muddy and extremely ugly baby popped out of the earth. The leaves were growing right out of his head. He had pale green, mottled skin, and was clearly bawling at the top of his lungs.**

**Professor Sprout took a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it, burying him in dark, damp compost until only the tufted leaves were visible.**

**Professor Sprout dusted off her hands, gave them all the thumbs-up and removed her own earmuffs.**

'**As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill yet,' she said calmly, as though she'd just done nothing more exciting than water a begonia. 'However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up.**

'**Four to a tray – there is a large supply of pots here – compost in the sacks over there – and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething.'**

**She gave a sharp slap to a spiky, dark red plant as she spoke, making it draw in the long feelers that had been inching sneakily over her shoulder.**

**Harry, Ron and Hermione were joined at their tray by a curly-haired Hufflepuff boy Harry knew by sight, but had never spoken to.**

'**Justin Finch-Fletchley,' he said brightly, shaking Harry by the hand. 'Know who you are, of course, the famous Harry Potter ... and you're Hermione Granger – always top in everything ...' (Hermione beamed as she had her hand shaken, too) 'and Ron Weasley. Wasn't that your flying car?'**

**Ron didn't smile. The Howler was obviously still on his mind.**

'**That Lockhart's something, isn't he?' said Justin happily, as they began filling their plant pots with dragondung compost. 'Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone box by a werewolf, **

"It depends if the werewolf is trying to kill you or trying to make you read _Hogwarts: A History_ for the fourth time!" Sirius said.

"Shut up, Sirius!"

**but he stayed cool and – zap – just fantastic. My name was down for Eton, you know, I can't tell you how glad I am I came here instead. Of course, mother was slightly disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family ...'**

"What's Eton?" Mr Weasley asked.

"It's a very prestigious Muggle school," Ted Tonks explained.

**After that they didn't have much chance to talk. Their earmuffs were back on and they needed to concentrate on the Mandrakes. Professor Sprout had made it look extremely easy, but it wasn't. The Mandrakes didn't like coming out of the earth, but didn't seem to want to go back into it either. They squirmed, kicked, flailed their sharp little fists and gnashed their teeth; **

"Kind of you when Lily tried to give you your baby food, Harry," said Sirius.

Harry blushed furiously.

**Harry spent ten whole minutes trying to squash a particularly fat one into a pot.**

**By the end of the class, Harry, like everyone else, was sweaty, aching and covered in earth. They traipsed back to the castle for a quick wash and then the Gryffindors hurried off to Transfiguration.**

**Professor McGonagall's classes were always hard work, but today was especially difficult. Everything Harry had learned last year seemed to have leaked out of his head during the summer. He was supposed to be turning a beetle into a button, but all he managed to do was give his beetle a lot of exercise as it scuttled over the desk top avoiding his wand.**

"That's useful too," said Luna.

**Ron was having far worse problems. He had patched up his wand with some borrowed Spellotape, but it seemed to be damaged beyond repair. It kept crackling and sparking at odd moments, and every time Ron tried to transfigure his beetle it engulfed him in thick grey smoke which smelled of rotten eggs. Unable to see what he was doing, Ron accidentally squashed his beetle with his elbow and had to ask for a new one. Professor McGonagall wasn't pleased.**

"You could've said your wand was malfunctioning!"

**Harry was relieved to hear the lunch bell. His brain felt like a wrung sponge. Everyone filed out of the classroom except him and Ron, who was whacking his wand furiously on the desk.**

'**Stupid ... useless ... thing ...'**

'**Write home for another one,' Harry suggested, as the wand let off a volley of bangs like a firecracker.**

'**Oh yeah, and get another Howler back,' said Ron, stuffing the now hissing wand into his bag. 'It's your own fault your wand got snapped –'**

**They went down to lunch, where Ron's mood was not improved by Hermione showing them the handful of perfect coat buttons she had produced in Transfiguration. **

"I really hate when you do that, Hermione!" Ron snapped.

"Sorry, Ron..."

'**What've we got this afternoon?' said Harry, hastily changing the subject.**

'**Defence Against the Dark Arts,' said Hermione at once.**

'**Why,' demanded Ron, seizing her timetable, 'have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?'**

Hermione paled. She hadn't wanted for the twins to know that.

Fred immediately grinned, "Little hearts!?"

"Oh, Hermione!" mocked George, "You _want_ to be teased!"

**Hermione snatched the timetable back, flushing furiously.**

"As you should!" Harry joked.

**They finished lunch and went outside into the overcast courtyard. Hermione sat down on a stone step and buried her nose in Voyages with Vampires again. Harry and Ron stood talking about Quidditch for several minutes before Harry became aware that he was being closely watched. Looking up, he saw the very small, mousey-haired boy he'd seen trying on the Sorting Hat last night, staring at Harry as though transfixed. He was clutching what looked like an ordinary Muggle camera, and the moment Harry looked at him, he went bright red.**

'**All right, Harry? I'm – I'm Colin Creevey,' he said breathlessly, taking a tentative step forward. 'I'm in Gryffindor, too. D'you think – would it be all right if – can I have a picture?' he said, raising the camera hopefully.**

'**A picture?' Harry repeated blankly.**

'**So I can prove I've met you,' said Colin Creevey eagerly, edging further forwards. 'I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You Know Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead' (his eyes raked Harry's hairline), 'and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures'll move.' Colin drew a great shuddering breath of excitement and said, 'It's brilliant here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it'd be really good if I had one of you –' he looked imploringly at Harry, '– maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?'**

"Merlin's beard!" Mrs Weasley cooed, "Ginny, your friend Colin is adorable!"

Ginny tilted her head, "I suppose he is..." she pondered, "In a teddy bear sort of way..."

"He's nice," commented Harry, "Although I am often embarrassed when he's around..."

"At your age, I would have loved that attention," said Sirius with a faraway look in his eyes, "James even more..."

Harry noticed some bitterness in his godfather's voice.

'**Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?'**

"Not him again!" Sirius exclaimed immediately forgetting his dark thoughts.

**Loud and scathing, Draco Malfoy's voice echoed around the courtyard. He had stopped right behind Colin, flanked, as he always was at Hogwarts, by his large and thuggish cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.**

'**Everyone queue up!' Malfoy roared to the crowd. 'Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!'**

'**No, I'm not,' said Harry angrily, his fists clenching. 'Shut up, Malfoy.'**

'**You're just jealous,' piped up Colin, whose entire body was about as thick as Crabbe's neck.**

'**Jealous?' said Malfoy, who didn't need to shout any more; half the courtyard was listening in. 'Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself.'**

**Crabbe and Goyle were sniggering stupidly.**

'**Eat slugs, Malfoy,' said Ron angrily. Crabbe stopped laughing and started rubbing his conker-like knuckles in a menacing way.**

'**Be careful, Weasley,' sneered Malfoy. 'You don't want to start any trouble or your mummy'll have to come and take you away from school.' He put on a shrill, piercing voice. 'If you put another toe out of line –'**

This time, Mr Weasley was the one who resembled a sabre-toothed tiger.

Andromeda was fuming as well. She couldn't help getting angry about this even though she knew pure-bloods were hopeless.

**A knot of Slytherin fifth-years nearby laughed loudly at this.**

'**Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter,' smirked Malfoy. 'It'd be worth more than his family's whole house.'**

Mr Weasley actually roared with rage. Now that he noticed it, Harry was sure Mr Weasley would make perfect Howlers if he wanted.

**Ron whipped out his Spellotaped wand, but Hermione shut Voyages with Vampires with a snap and whispered, 'Look out!'**

'**What's all this, what's all this?' Gilderoy Lockhart was striding towards them, his turquoise robes swirling behind him. 'Who's giving out signed photos?'**

**Harry started to speak but he was cut short as Lockhart flung an arm around his shoulders and thundered jovially, 'Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Harry!'**

**Pinned to Lockhart's side and burning with humiliation, Harry saw Malfoy slide smirking back into the crowd.**

'**Come on then, Mr Creevey,' said Lockhart, beaming at Colin. 'A double portrait, can't say fairer than that, and we'll both sign it for you.'**

**Colin fumbled for his camera and took the picture as the bell rang behind them, signalling the start of afternoon classes.**

'**Off you go, move along there,' Lockhart called to the crowd, and he set off back to the castle with Harry, who was wishing he knew a good vanishing spell, still clasped to his side.**

'**A word to the wise, Harry,' said Lockhart paternally as they entered the building through a side door. 'I covered up for you back there with young Creevey – if he was photographing me, too, your schoolfellows won't think you're setting yourself up so much ...'**

**Deaf to Harry's stammers, Lockhart swept him down a corridor lined with staring students and up a staircase.**

'**Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn't sensible – looks a tad big-headed, Harry, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you'll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but –' he gave a little chortle, 'I don't think you're quite there yet.' **

"Merlin's beard!" Mrs Weasley gasped, now that Lockhart's charm was losing its power, "Is he really like this!?"

"Yes!" Ron exclaimed forcefully, "It's what I've been saying all along!"

**They had reached Lockhart's classroom and he let Harry go at last. Harry yanked his robes straight and headed for a seat at the very back of the class, where he busied himself with piling all seven of Lockhart's books in front of him, so that he could avoid looking at the real thing.**

**The rest of the class came clattering in and Ron and Hermione sat down on either side of Harry.**

'**You could've fried an egg on your face' said Ron. 'You'd better hope Creevey doesn't meet Ginny, they'll be starting a Harry Potter fan club.'**

"He actually asked me about it," said Ginny, blushing as she glared at her brother for talking about her like this, "I wouldn't go that far, Harry, I like you but I also know you would hate it."

"Thank you, Ginny!"

'**Shut up,' snapped Harry. The last thing he needed was for Lockhart to hear the phrase 'Harry Potter fan club'.**

**When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville Longbottom's copy of Travels with Trolls and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.**

'**Me,' he said, pointing at it and winking as well, 'Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award – but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!'**

**He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly.**

'**I see you've all bought a complete set of my books – well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about – just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in ...'**

**When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, 'You have thirty minutes. Start – now!'**

**Harry looked down at his paper and read:**

**1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?**

**2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?**

**3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?**

**On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:**

**54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?**

"I see why you were so behind last year..." Lupin sighed shaking his head.

**Half an hour later, Lockhart collected in the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.**

'**Tut, tut – hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with a Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully – I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples**

"Yeah!" scoffed Neville, who hadn't liked Lockhart any better than his school-mates, "That what you'd like!"

– **though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!'**

**He gave them another roguish wink. Ron was now staring at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief on his face; Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who were sitting in front, were shaking with silent laughter. **

"I suppose you have to do that if you don't want to just cry hopelessly about his incompetence!" McGonagall exploded, having heard enough of Lockhart's nonsense.

**Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapt attention, and gave a start when he mentioned her name.**

'**... but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of haircare potions – good girl! In fact –' he flipped her paper over, 'full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?'**

**Hermione raised a trembling hand.**

'**Excellent!' beamed Lockhart. 'Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so, to business ...'**

**He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.**

'**Now – be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. **

"That we did the following year with you, Remus," said Harry.

Lupin beamed at him because it was the first time Harry called him so casually by his first name.

**Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm.'**

**In spite of himself, Harry leaned around his pile of books for a better look at the cage. Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his front-row seat.**

'**I must ask you not to scream,' said Lockhart in a low voice. 'It might provoke them.'**

**As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.**

'**Yes,' he said dramatically. 'Freshly caught Cornish pixies.'**

"Cornish pixies! Those are the foulest creatures known to wizardkind?" Sirius asked Lupin, "Please, tell me, Professor, I am honestly curious!"

"Well, it's not a bad idea to teach this but you would do this in first year and not like this..."

"You remember that we were all a little worried when you announced that your first lesson would be a practical lesson?" Harry asked Lupin. Remus nodded, "Well, you're about to see our only other practical lesson..."

Remus tilted his head, wondering why Neville, Ron, Harry and even Hermione looked so gloomy.

**Seamus Finnigan couldn't control himself. He let out a snort of laughter which even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.**

'**Yes?' he smiled at Seamus.**

'**Well, they're not – they're not very – dangerous, are they?' Seamus choked.**

'**Don't be so sure!' said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. 'Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!'**

**The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and pulling bizarre faces at the people nearest them.**

'**Right then,' Lockhart said loudly. 'Let's see what you make of them!' And he opened the cage.**

"WHAT?"

The adults shouted.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Snape exploded.

"What kind of teaching method is that!?" Lupin asked McGonagall, who just glared at him for suggesting that she knew how Lockhart's mind worked.

**It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, upended the waste bin, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from the candelabra in the ceiling.**

'**Come on now, round them up, round them up, they're only pixies ...' Lockhart shouted. He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand and bellowed, 'Peskipiksi Pesternomi!'**

"I don't know this spell," said Percy.

"That's because it doesn't exist!"

**It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized Lockhart's wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Neville, who fell a second later as the candelabra gave way.**

"Oh, you poor thing!" Andromeda fussed over Neville.

**The bell rang and there was a mad rush towards the exit.**

**In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were almost at the door, and said, 'Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage.' He swept past them and shut the door quickly behind him.**

"Albus, you must have been really desperate if you hired him," Andromeda said, "I mean, you would have noticed he was such an idiot!"

"Sadly, every year it gets harder and harder to find a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," said Dumbledore, "This year we were lucky, though, Remus did a wonderful job!"

Remus smiled humbly, "Thank you, Albus... I don't deserve it..."

"Nonsense, my boy! If it weren't for the fact that that job is actually jinxed, I would've hired you for much more than a year!"

'**Can you believe him?' roared Ron, as one of the remaining pixies bit him painfully on the ear.**

'**He just wants to give us some hands-on experience,' said Hermione, immobilising two pixies at once with a clever Freezing Charm and stuffing them back into their cage.**

'**Hands on?' said Harry, who was trying to grab a pixie dancing out of reach with its tongue out. 'Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing.'**

'**Rubbish,' said Hermione. 'You've read his books – look at all those amazing things he's done ...'**

'**He says he's done,' Ron muttered.**

Harry and Ron exchanged dark looks. How about that? Ron had been right all along!

"The chapter's over," said Luna dreamily again.

She'd done the voices as promised but it had been kind of awkward with her dreamy expression.

"I'll read!" said Charlie.


	7. Chapter 7: Mudbloods and Murmurs

**Author's note****: Even while studying for an exam I have on Friday, I found some time to write this chapter, although I'm not completely happy with it. Still I couldn't manage anything better, since I've been focusing on the Variations of the French Language... stupid exam! **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

While Charlie swallowed a sandwich with the same determination one would put into getting ready for a Quidditch match, Harry thought that he must have been really into the challenge Luna had brought up, the one about doing the voices.

He hoped he would be better than Luna, who had indeed done the voices but hadn't moved at all and her dreamy expression had not left her face at all while she read. In Harry's book, she had little chance of winning the contest.

Charlie, on the other hand, stood in the middle of the room, as if on a stage.

— **CHAPTER SEVEN —**

Charlie's voice was full of suspense. He was really – _really!_ – into the challenge!

**Mudbloods and Murmurs**

Ron snarled as he was immediately reminded of the Mudblood incident with Malfoy.

**Harry spent a lot of time over the next few days dodging out of sight whenever he saw Gilderoy Lockhart coming down a corridor. **

"Good thinking," Sirius told his godson.

**Harder to avoid was Colin Creevey, who seemed to have memorised Harry's timetable. Nothing seemed to give Colin a bigger thrill than to say, 'All right, Harry?' six or seven times a day and hear, 'Hullo, Colin,' back, however exasperated Harry sounded when he said it.**

Everyone laughed. Dumbledore chuckled, "Mr Creevey is very enthusiastic!"

**Hedwig was still angry with Harry about the disastrous car journey **

"You can't blame that poor owl," said Ted Tonks, "After everything she's been through!"

**and Ron's wand was still malfunctioning, surpassing itself on Friday morning by shooting out of Ron's hand in Charms and hitting tiny old Professor Flitwick squarely between the eyes, creating a large, throbbing green boil where it had struck. **

"I remember that!" said Professor McGonagall, "Poppy and I had to help him vanishing it!"

**So, with one thing and another, Harry was quite glad to reach the weekend. He, Ron and Hermione were planning to visit Hagrid on Saturday morning. Harry, however, was shaken awake several hours earlier than he would have liked by Oliver Wood, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.**

Fred and George moaned at the memory. They hadn't been pleased to be woken up that early either.

'**Whassamatter?' said Harry groggily.**

'**Quidditch practice!' said Wood. 'Come on!'**

**Harry squinted at the window. There was a thin mist hanging across the pink and gold sky. Now he was awake, he couldn't understand how he could have slept through the racket the birds were making.**

'**Oliver,' Harry croaked, 'it's the crack of dawn.'**

"This brings back memories," Lupin told Sirius with a fond smile.

"It surely does!" said Sirius, "Thank Merlin I wasn't on the team!"

"You don't like Quidditch?" Hermione asked curiously.

"I like watching Quidditch," said Sirius, "Never mind that James used to wake us up anyway."

'**Exactly,' said Wood. **

Charlie read quickly.

**He was a tall and burly sixth-year and, at the moment, his eyes were gleaming with a mad enthusiasm. **

"That's oh, so creepy, Forge!" sighed Fred.

"Indeed, Gred!"

'**It's part of our new training programme. Come on, grab your broom and let's go,' said Wood heartily. 'None of the other teams have started training yet, we're going to be first off the mark this year ...'**

**Yawning and shivering slightly, Harry climbed out of bed and tried to find his Quidditch robes.**

'**Good man,' said Wood. 'Meet you on the pitch in fifteen minutes.'**

**When he'd found his scarlet team robes and pulled on his cloak for warmth, Harry scribbled a note to Ron explaining where he'd gone and went down the spiral staircase to the common room, his Nimbus Two Thousand on his shoulder. He had just reached the portrait hole when there was a clatter behind him and Colin Creevey came dashing down the spiral staircase, his camera swinging madly around his neck and something clutched in his hand.**

"Alright, he's a little creepy too!" Ginny agreed.

'**I heard someone saying your name on the stairs, Harry! Look what I've got here! I've had it developed, I wanted to show you –'**

**Harry looked bemusedly at the photograph Colin was brandishing under his nose.**

**A moving, black and white Lockhart was tugging hard on an arm Harry recognised as his own. He was pleased to see that his photographic self was putting up a good fight and refusing to be dragged into view. As Harry watched, Lockhart gave up and slumped, panting, against the white edge of the picture.**

"At least the one in the picture gave up!" sighed Harry, "I hoped for the real one to do the same!"

'**Will you sign it?' said Colin eagerly.**

'**No,' said Harry flatly, glancing around to check that the room was really deserted. 'Sorry, Colin, I'm in a hurry – Quidditch practice.'**

**He climbed through the portrait hole.**

'**Oh wow! Wait for me! I've never watched a Quidditch game before!'**

**Colin scrambled through the hole after him.**

"I can once again feel the 'Bugger me!', Harry!" laughed Tonks.

'**It'll be really boring,' Harry said quickly, but Colin ignored him, his face shining with excitement.**

'**You were the youngest house player in a hundred years, weren't you, Harry? Weren't you?' said Colin, trotting alongside him. 'You must be brilliant. I've never flown. Is it easy? Is that your own broom? Is that the best one there is?' Harry didn't know how to get rid of him. It was like having an extremely talkative shadow.**

"I know what that means," said Sirius, "Although my talkative shadows were usually girls..."

'**I don't really understand Quidditch,' said Colin breathlessly. 'Is it true there are four balls? And two of them fly round trying to knock people off their brooms?'**

'**Yes,' said Harry heavily, resigned to explaining the complicated rules of Quidditch. 'They're called Bludgers. There are two Beaters on each team, who carry clubs to beat the Bludgers away from their side. Fred and George Weasley are the Gryffindor Beaters.'**

'**And what are the other balls for?' Colin asked, tripping down a couple of steps because he was gazing open-mouthed at Harry.**

Everyone laughed as Charlie made a very realistic impression of Colin staring open-mouthed at Harry.

'**Well, the Quaffle – that's the biggish red one – is the one that scores goals. Three Chasers on each team throw the Quaffle to each other and try and get it through the goalposts at the end of the pitch – they're three long poles with hoops on the end.'**

'**And the fourth ball –'**

'– **is the Golden Snitch,' said Harry, 'and it's very small, very fast and difficult to catch. But that's what the Seeker's got to do, because a game of Quidditch doesn't end until the Snitch has been caught. And whichever team's Seeker gets the Snitch earns his team an extra hundred and fifty points.'**

'**And you're Gryffindor Seeker, aren't you?' said Colin in awe.**

'**Yes,' said Harry, as they left the castle and started across the dew-drenched grass. 'And there's the Keeper, too. He guards the goalposts. That's it, really.'**

"It's not going to work, Harry," Sirius told his godson, "I usually shut girls up by snogging them but I do not advise you to do so."

Harry stared blankly at his godfather.

**But Colin didn't stop questioning Harry all the way down the sloping lawns to the Quidditch pitch, and Harry only shook him off when he reached the changing rooms. Colin called after him in a piping voice, 'I'll go and get a good seat, Harry!' and hurried off to the stands.**

**The rest of the Gryffindor team were already in the changing room. Wood was the only person who looked truly awake. Fred and George Weasley were sitting, puffy-eyed and tousle-haired, next to fourth-year Alicia Spinnet, who seemed to be nodding off against the wall behind her. Her fellow Chasers, Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson, were yawning, side by side, opposite them.**

'**There you are, Harry, what kept you?' said Wood briskly. 'Now, I wanted a quick talk with you all before we actually get onto the pitch, because I spent the summer devising a whole new training programme, which I really think will make all the difference ...'**

Charlie's impression of Wood was indeed very good. It was clear that he knew of Wood's obsession with Quidditch.

**Wood was holding up a large diagram of a Quidditch pitch, on which were drawn many lines, arrows and crosses in different-coloured inks. He took out his wand, tapped the board and the arrows began to wiggle over the diagram like caterpillars. As Wood launched into a speech about his new tactics, Fred Weasley's head drooped right onto Alicia Spinnet's shoulder and he began to snore.**

"I snore?" Fred asked George.

"I've been telling you that for years!"

**The first board took nearly twenty minutes to explain, but there was another board under that, and a third under that one. Harry sank into a stupor as Wood droned on and on. 'So,' said Wood, at long last, jerking Harry from a wistful fantasy about what he could be eating for breakfast at this very moment up at the castle, 'is that clear? Any questions?'**

'**I've got a question, Oliver,' said George, who had woken with a start. 'Why couldn't you have told us all this yesterday when we were awake?'**

**Wood wasn't pleased. 'Now, listen here, you lot,' he said, glowering at them all, 'we should have won the Quidditch Cup last year. We're easily the best team. But unfortunately, owing to circumstances beyond our control ...'**

**Harry shifted guiltily in his seat. He had been unconscious in the hospital wing for the final match of the previous year, meaning that Gryffindor had been a player short and had suffered their worst defeat in three hundred years.**

"You don't worry about that, Mr Potter," said McGonagall gently, "One defeat doesn't mean anything and you've done a great service to the school and the world by saving the Philosopher's Stone."

**Wood took a moment to regain control of himself. Their last defeat was clearly still torturing him. 'So, this year, we train harder than ever before ... OK, let's go and put our new theories into practice!' Wood shouted, seizing his broomstick and leading the way out of the changing rooms. Stiff-legged and still yawning, his team followed.**

"How is that going to work if you're sleeping?" Andromeda asked Harry, Fred and George.

"You should ask James," said Lupin, "Or, you know, Oliver..."

**They had been in the changing room so long that the sun was up properly now, although remnants of mist hung over the grass in the stadium. As Harry walked onto the pitch, he saw Ron and Hermione sitting in the stands.**

'**Aren't you finished yet?' called Ron incredulously.**

"No," Harry replied testily remembering distinctly that episode.

'**Haven't even started,' said Harry, looking jealously at the toast and marmalade Ron and Hermione had brought out of the Great Hall. **

Harry glared at Ron and Hermione. _Toast and marmalade_, he didn't remember.

'**Wood's been teaching us new moves.'**

**He mounted his broomstick and kicked at the ground, soaring up into the air. The cool morning air whipped his face, waking him far more effectively than Wood's long talk.**

"You're stating the obvious, mate!" said Fred.

"I thought we agreed that I am not the one who wrote these books!" replied Harry.

"It's still your point of view!" said George.

**It felt wonderful to be back on the Quidditch pitch. He soared right around the stadium at full speed, racing Fred and George.**

'**What's that funny clicking noise?' called Fred, as they hurtled around the corner.**

**Harry looked into the stands. Colin was sitting in one of the highest seats, his camera raised, taking picture after picture, the sound strangely magnified in the deserted stadium.**

'**Look this way, Harry! This way!' he cried shrilly.**

'**Who's that?' said Fred.**

'**No idea,' Harry lied, putting on a spurt of speed that took him as far away as possible from Colin. **

Fred grinned, "I knew exactly who he was, Ron told me all about the autographed pictures and I wanted to see if you would admit that had happened!"

"You're evil!"

'**What's going on?' said Wood, frowning, as he skimmed through the air towards them. 'Why's that first-year taking pictures? I don't like it. He could be a Slytherin spy, trying to find out about our new training programme.'**

'**He's in Gryffindor,' said Harry quickly.**

'**And the Slytherins don't need a spy, Oliver,' said George.**

'**What makes you say that?' said Wood testily. **

'**Because they're here in person,' **

"Why now?" Sirius sighed.

Harry frowned, "Ask Professor Snape," he said grumpily.

Snape looked at him, honestly bewildered.

**said George, pointing.**

**Several people in green robes were walking onto the pitch, broomsticks in their hands.**

'**I don't believe it!' Wood hissed in outrage. 'I booked the pitch for today! We'll see about this!'**

**Wood shot towards the ground, landing rather harder than he meant to in his anger, staggering slightly as he dismounted. Harry, Fred and George followed.**

'**Flint!' Wood bellowed at the Slytherin captain. 'This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!'**

**Marcus Flint was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning **

"He's a Flint," said Andromeda, "They're famous for the trollish cunning!"

"Indeed!" Sirius answered his godson's curious look, "Our great-great-great-grandmother was a Flint,"

**on his face as he replied, 'Plenty of room for all of us, Wood.'**

**Angelina, Alicia and Katie had come over, too. There were no girls on the Slytherin team – who stood, shoulder to shoulder, facing the Gryffindors, leering to a man.**

'**But I booked the pitch!' said Wood, positively spitting with rage. 'I booked it!'**

'**Ah,' said Flint, 'but I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practise today on the Quidditch pitch, owing to the need to train their new Seeker.'**

Snape frowned at the glaring Gryffindors, "I didn't know the pitch was already booked."

"No one will buy that, I'm afraid, Severus," said Sirius.

"Honestly, I didn't know!" sneered Snape, "I have more important things to do in my life than check Gryffindor's practice schedule!"

Everyone stared at him, searching his face for any clue that he was lying. When they were satisfied that he wasn't, they looked away.

'**You've got a new Seeker?' said Wood, distracted. 'Where?'**

**And from behind the six large figures before them came a seventh, smaller boy, smirking all over his pale, pointed face. It was Draco Malfoy.**

"Oh, _come on_!" groaned Tonks, throwing her hands in the air.

'**Aren't you Lucius Malfoy's son?' said Fred, looking at Malfoy with dislike.**

'**Funny you should mention Draco's father,' said Flint, as the whole Slytherin team smiled still more broadly. 'Let me show you the generous gift he's made to the Slytherin team.'**

**All seven of them held out their broomsticks. Seven highly polished, brand-new handles and seven sets of fine gold lettering spelling the words 'Nimbus Two Thousand and One' gleamed under the Gryffindors' noses in the earlymorning sun.**

'**Very latest model. Only came out last month,' said Flint carelessly, flicking a speck of dust from the end of his own.**

"Oh, I am so glad you got that Firebolt, Harry!" Neville hissed.

"Thank you again, Sirius!" Harry beamed at his godfather who winked in response.

'**I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. **

"It doesn't, not by a considerable amount," said Charlie, pausing in the middle of his imitation of Flint's glee, "I check every new broom and that's just a marketing thing..."

**As for the old Cleansweeps,' he smiled nastily at Fred and George, who were both clutching Cleansweep Fives, 'sweeps the board with them.'**

"I'm going to buy you two new brooms," Charlie continued, "As the first Quidditch expert in the family I claim this right!"

Mr Weasley, in truth, had mixed feelings about Charlie or Bill or even Percy spending money on their brothers. He didn't like to point out that a bit more money would help but that was undoubtedly true, and if his younger children had to be humiliated by people like the Malfoys he didn't want them to suffer that either.

**None of the Gryffindor team could think of anything to say for a moment. Malfoy was smirking so broadly his cold eyes were reduced to slits.**

'**Oh look,' said Flint. 'A pitch invasion.'**

**Ron and Hermione were crossing the grass to see what was going on.**

'**What's happening?' Ron asked Harry. 'Why aren't you playing? And what's he doing here?'**

**He was looking at Malfoy, taking in his Slytherin Quidditch robes.**

'**I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley,' said Malfoy, smugly. 'Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team.'**

**Ron gaped, open-mouthed, at the seven superb broomsticks in front of him.**

'**Good, aren't they?' said Malfoy smoothly. 'But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives, I expect a museum would bid for them.'**

**The Slytherin team howled with laughter.**

"I don't see how that's a good joke," said Bill.

"I know," said George, "Percy could make better jokes than Draco Malfoy!"

"Shut up, George!" snapped Percy.

"Yeah, George," said Ron, "Anyone could make better jokes than Draco Malfoy!"

'**At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in,' said Hermione sharply. 'They got in on pure talent.'**

"You tell him, Hermione!" cheered Ginny.

**The smug look on Malfoy's face flickered. 'No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood,' he spat.**

As Harry had expected, the room exploded as everyone shouted in outrage at the same time.

Of course, he, Ron, Hermione and the twins had been there so they had no reason to get more upset than they had already been at the time. However, they all felt great satisfaction at seeing the others shout their lungs out.

"How dare he!" shouted Percy and Neville together.

"How rude!" exclaimed Luna Lovegood not so dreamily this time.

McGonagall reprimanded her Gryffindors because they hadn't told her about this.

Dumbledore didn't shout but he looked unnaturally upset. He said that he would keep a closer eye on Mr Malfoy.

After exchanging a dark look with her cousin, Andromeda spoke as a former member of one of the pure-blood families and told Dumbledore that unless he actually took action and did something useful that little hope to reform her nephew was lost, and the chances were already low, as most pure-bloods were already beyond reforming.

Harry noticed that one adult that he expected to start shouting as well was strangely silent. Sirius was indeed pale and upset by the fact that someone had used such words regarding Hermione, whom he liked because she'd been the first to address him politely after so many years in Azkaban, but the dark expression he'd made when he'd heard what Malfoy had said was not there anymore. Instead, he and Lupin were staring awkwardly at Snape. They looked rather ashamed. Snape, on his part, looked murderous. Who was on the end of that hate? Harry guessed Sirius and Lupin but it didn't look like Snape was mad _at them_. It was more as if he was trying to warn them. For a moment, Harry saw a great pain in his professor's eyes.

After he'd expressed his rage as well, Charlie went on reading, hoping to make his mother's shouts stop. However right she would be in wanting to smack Malfoy's behind until it disintegrated, if they let her rant she would go on for hours and these rather upsetting reading would never end. They still had five books and a half to go through.

**Harry knew at once that Malfoy had said something really bad because there was an instant uproar at his words. Flint had to dive in front of Malfoy to stop Fred and George jumping on him, Alicia shrieked, 'How dare you!' and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulled out his wand, yelling, 'You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!' and pointed it furiously under Flint's arm at Malfoy's face.**

"Yes!" shouted Tonks, who'd been just as upset as anyone else, "Hex him into next week, Ron!"

Ron didn't look proud. He was sulking and those who didn't know why frowned in confusion.

**A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the wrong end of Ron's wand, **

"Aw!" moaned Sirius, finally tearing his eyes from Snape's face, "The broken wand again, Ron?"

"Oh, Sirius," said Hermione, "That broken wand will go on all year!"

Ron looked positively furious at the memory of what had happened that day.

Harry smiled at him encouragingly, "You have to admit, Ron, that that wand proved itself useful in the end."

Ron frowned, not understanding why Harry was winking at him. When he finally got it, he burst out laughing, immediately followed by Harry.

The adults looked at the scene, pleased. It was rare seeing Harry laughing so hard.

Harry was panting, "We shouldn't laugh about it!" he told his best friend, not really convinced himself.

"Who cares!?" laughed Ron.

**hitting him in the stomach and sending him reeling backwards onto the grass.**

Mrs Weasley went back into her overprotective mother mode. No one had told her that Ron's wand had been so badly damaged. As mad as she'd been with him, she wanted him to perform well in school and a wand like that was dangerous!

'**Ron! Ron! Are you all right?' squealed Hermione.**

**Ron opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.**

**Instead he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth onto his lap.**

Exhibit A.

"Ouch," said Bill, "Nasty!"

**The Slytherin team were paralysed with laughter. Flint was doubled up, hanging on to his new broomstick for support. Malfoy was on all fours, banging the ground with his fist. **

"Perfect!" said Tonks cheerfully, "It's the perfect position for me to stick that Nimbus Two Thousand and One right –"

"_NYMPHADORA TONKS!_" roared her mother while the others roared with laughter. For some reason, even if Tonks had said something so terrible, after what Malfoy had just said it didn't seem so terrible.

**The Gryffindors were gathered around Ron, who kept belching large, glistening slugs. Nobody seemed to want to touch him.**

'**We'd better get him to Hagrid's, it's nearest,' said Harry to Hermione, **

"Good choice, Harry," said Dumbledore.

**who nodded bravely, and the pair of them pulled Ron up by the arms.**

'**What happened, Harry? What happened? Is he ill? But you can cure him, can't you?'**

Ginny tilted her head, "Alright, I see why you don't like him that much..."

**Colin had run down from his seat and was now dancing alongside them as they left the pitch. Ron gave a huge heave and more slugs dribbled down his front.**

'**Oooh,' said Colin, fascinated and raising his camera. 'Can you hold him still, Harry?'**

"Seriously?" asked Charlie incredulously to the book while Lupin chuckled.

'**Get out of the way, Colin!' said Harry angrily. He and Hermione supported Ron out of the stadium and across the grounds towards the edge of the Forest.**

'**Nearly there, Ron,' said Hermione, as the gamekeeper's cabin came into view. 'You'll be all right in a minute ... almost there ...'**

**They were within twenty feet of Hagrid's house when the front door opened, but it wasn't Hagrid who emerged.**

"What now?" asked Ted Tonks, "Isn't this situation awkward enough?"

"That's an ordinary day for us," said Hermione as Ron and Harry sighed in defeat.

**Gilderoy Lockhart, wearing robes of palest mauve today, **

"Oh, for _heaven's sake_!" exploded Sirius, "Who dresses like that!?"

"You'll admit that mauve is better than turquoise..." said Lupin.

"I thought I would become colour-blind after a day with him, let alone a year..." said Neville, who'd been silent for quite sometime and still had it in with Lockhart for almost using him as bait with those Cornish Pixies.

Everyone laughed at that – even McGonagall, such was her hatred of Lockhart – and Neville's fellow Gryffindors laughed even harder. It was so rare to witness Neville's witty side.

**came striding out.**

'**Quick, behind here,' Harry hissed, dragging Ron behind a nearby bush. **

"I never thanked you for that, Harry," said Ron.

"Don't mention it," said Harry,

"Especially after what he did to your arm at the Quidditch match –"

Sirius frowned, "What did he do to your arm, Harry?"

"Give up, Sirius, I'm not telling," Harry said.

Sirius was obviously upset and surprisingly Snape came to Harry's rescue, "Let's just say, Sirius, that Lockhart's idiocy overpowers everyone and everything."

"What do you mean, Severus?" asked Lupin curiously.

"Shut up and listen!" snapped Snape, his moment of politeness already gone.

**Hermione followed, somewhat reluctantly. **

Ron frowned at Hermione who blushed and avoided his eyes.

'**It's a simple matter if you know what you're doing!' Lockhart was saying loudly to Hagrid. 'If you need help, you know where I am! I'll let you have a copy of my book – I'm surprised you haven't already got one. I'll sign one tonight and send it over. **

"At least he didn't ask me to pay for it..." Hagrid said grumpily.

**Well, goodbye!' And he strode away towards the castle.**

**Harry waited until Lockhart was out of sight, then pulled Ron out of the bush and up to Hagrid's front door. They knocked urgently.**

**Hagrid appeared at once, looking very grumpy, but his expression brightened when he saw who it was.**

'**Bin wonderin' when you'd come ter see me – come in, come in – thought you mighta bin Professor Lockhart back again.'**

**Harry and Hermione supported Ron over the threshold, into the one-roomed cabin, which had an enormous bed in one corner, a fire crackling merrily in another. Hagrid didn't seem perturbed by Ron's slug problem, which Harry hastily explained as he lowered Ron into a chair.**

'**Better out than in,' he said cheerfully, plonking a large copper basin in front of him. 'Get 'em all up, Ron.'**

'**I don't think there's anything to do except wait for it to stop,' said Hermione anxiously, watching Ron bend over the basin. 'That's a difficult curse to work at the best of times, but with a broken wand ...'**

"You were very silly, Ron," said Mr Weasley, "We would have sent you a new wand!"

**Hagrid was bustling around, making them tea. His boarhound, Fang, was slobbering over Harry.**

'**What did Lockhart want with you, Hagrid?' Harry asked, scratching Fang's ears.**

'**Givin' me advice on gettin' kelpies out of a well,' growled Hagrid, moving a half-plucked rooster off his scrubbed table and setting down the teapot. 'Like I don' know. An' bangin' on about some Banshee he banished. If one word of it was true, I'll eat my kettle.'**

"You have no idea how we loved you for that, Hagrid!" Harry told his friend.

**It was most unlike Hagrid to criticise a Hogwarts teacher and Harry looked at him in surprise. Hermione, however, said in a voice somewhat higher than usual, 'I think you're being a bit unfair. **

"No, Hermione," said Fred firmly.

**Professor Dumbledore obviously thought he was the best man for the job –'**

"There was actually no one else," said McGonagall, "Sadly..."

'**He was the on'y man for the job,' said Hagrid, offering them a plate of treacle toffee, while Ron coughed squelchily into his basin. 'An' I mean the on'y one. Gettin' very difficult ter find anyone fer the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen ter take it on, see. They're startin' ter think it's jinxed. **

"Starting to think it's jinxed?" Sirius asked, "It's been going on for ages! Of course the job it's jinxed!"

"That's why I hire by the year," said Dumbledore.

**No one's lasted long fer a while now. So tell me,' said Hagrid, jerking his head at Ron, 'who was he tryin' ter curse?'**

'**Malfoy called Hermione something. It must've been really bad, because everyone went mad.'**

'**It was bad,' said Ron hoarsely, emerging over the table top, looking pale and sweaty. 'Malfoy called her "Mudblood", Hagrid –'**

**Ron dived out of sight again as a fresh wave of slugs made their appearance. **

"Oh, you poor thing!" sighed Mrs Weasley.

**Hagrid looked outraged. 'He didn'!' he growled at Hermione.**

'**He did,' she said. 'But I don't know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course ...'**

'**It's about the most insulting thing he could think of,' gasped Ron, coming back up. 'Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who was Muggle-born – you know, non-magic parents. There are some wizards – like Malfoy's family – who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call pure-blood.' He gave a small burp, and a single slug fell into his outstretched hand. He threw it into the basin and continued, 'I mean, the rest of us know it doesn't make any difference at all. Look at Neville Longbottom – he's pure-blood and he can hardly stand a cauldron the right way up.'**

"Sorry, Neville..."

Neville didn't mind. He'd come to grips with the fact that he wasn't very gifted a long time ago.

"Nonsense, Neville," said Lupin gently, "You are gifted. You just lack confidence. I'm sure you'll get better when you grow up."

Then Lupin glanced warningly towards Snape as if to remind him not to pick on Neville.

'**An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can't do,' said Hagrid proudly, making Hermione go a brilliant shade of magenta.**

'**It's a disgusting thing to call someone,' said Ron, wiping his sweaty brow with a shaking hand. 'Dirty blood, see. Common blood. It's mad. Most wizards these days are halfblood anyway. If we hadn't married Muggles we'd've died out.' **

"Tell that to the idiots who keep inbreeding!" said Sirius, "I for one would never marry someone in my family!"

"Who would marry someone in his/her family?" asked Hermione.

"My parents," said Sirius, "They were second cousins."

"That's not so bad," said Hermione, "Second cousins can get married."

"Indeed," retorted Sirius, "But that's the first step towards inbreeding, isn't it? As long as you don't think anyone is good enough for your family you will start inbreeding."

"That's how the Gaunts ended up," said Dumbledore thoughtfully.

"That's how many pure-blood families ended up," said Andromeda.

"There are very few pure-blood families left," said Neville, "Just like Ron said, if they don't start marrying Muggles, they will all die out."

**He retched and ducked out of sight again.**

'**Well, I don' blame yeh fer tryin' ter curse him, Ron,' said Hagrid loudly over the thuds of more slugs hitting the basin. 'Bu' maybe it was a good thing yer wand backfired. 'Spect Lucius Malfoy would've come marchin' up ter school if yeh'd cursed his son. Least yer not in trouble.'**

"He should try it!" hissed McGonagall, "I'd like to see him weasel out of an argument after what his son said!"

"Nevertheless," said Dumbledore, "Hagrid spoke wisely," Hagrid beamed, "Lucius Malfoy has power over the Ministry and the Minister himself. It's better not to have him involved over something so trivial, as despicably as his son has behaved."

"Indeed," said Ted Tonks, "The less someone has to deal with the Malfoys the better."

"I agree," said Andromeda, "And Narcissa is my sister!"

"We will watch the behaviour of the Slytherin students more carefully, though," said McGonagall, "Severus?"

"I'll keep an eye on Mr Malfoy personally," said Snape, his face stoic.

Harry was surprised that Snape didn't put up a fight. However, he noticed that his godfather and Lupin were still staring at Snape. They obviously knew something he didn't.

**Harry would have pointed out that trouble didn't come much worse than having slugs pouring out of your mouth, but he couldn't; Hagrid's treacle toffee had cemented his jaws together.**

'**Harry,' said Hagrid suddenly, as though struck by a sudden thought, 'gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos. How come I haven't got one?'**

Everyone burst out laughing at that, Hagrid's booming laugh and Sirius's bark-like laugh the loudest of all.

**Furious, Harry wrenched his teeth apart. 'I have not been giving out signed photos,' he said hotly. 'If Lockhart's still putting that about –'**

**But then he saw that Hagrid was laughing.**

'**I'm on'y jokin',' he said, patting Harry genially on the back and sending him, face first, into the table. 'I knew yeh hadn't really. I told Lockhart yeh didn' need teh. Yer more famous than him without tryin'.'**

"Well said, Hagrid!" said Bill.

'**Bet he didn't like that,' said Harry, sitting up and rubbing his chin.**

'**Don' think he did,' said Hagrid, his eyes twinkling. 'An' then I told him I'd never read one o' his books **

"That's the reason we love you, Hagrid!" cheered Ron, who had been unable to cheer at the time.

Hagrid laughed.

**an' he decided ter go. **

"Thank Merlin!" Hagrid said, causing the others to laugh again.

**Treacle toffee, Ron?' he added, as Ron reappeared.**

'**No thanks,' said Ron weakly. 'Better not risk it.'**

'**Come an' see what I've bin growin',' said Hagrid, as Harry and Hermione finished the last of their tea.**

**In the small vegetable patch behind Hagrid's house were a dozen of the largest pumpkins Harry had ever seen. Each was the size of a large boulder.**

'**Gettin' on well, aren't they?' said Hagrid happily. 'Fer the Hallowe'en feast ... should be big enough by then.'**

'**What've you been feeding them?' said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked over his shoulder to check that they were alone.**

'**Well, I've bin givin' them – you know – a bit o' help.'**

"Hagrid!" protested Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore smiled.

**Harry noticed Hagrid's flowery pink umbrella leaning against the back wall of the cabin. Harry had had reason to believe before now that this umbrella was not all it looked; in fact, he had the strong impression that Hagrid's old school wand was concealed inside it. **

Professor McGonagall shrugged. She wanted but couldn't really reprimand Hagrid for trying to do magic. She could just imagine what she would've done if she'd been in his position.

**Hagrid wasn't supposed to use magic. He had been expelled from Hogwarts in his third year, but Harry had never found out why – any mention of the matter and Hagrid would clear his throat loudly and become mysteriously deaf until the subject was changed.**

Everyone saw Hagrid blush under his thick and scruffy beard. Harry was torn between sadness that this book was soon going to bring up bad memories for his friend, anger at Voldemort for framing Hagrid and happiness that at least the people in the room would learn the truth, not that anyone was shunning Hagrid for having been expelled.

'**An Engorgement Charm, I suppose?' said Hermione, halfway between disapproval and amusement. 'Well, you've done a good job on them.'**

'**That's what yer little sister said,' said Hagrid, nodding at Ron. 'Met her jus' yesterday.' Hagrid looked sideways at Harry, his beard twitching. 'Said she was jus' lookin' round the grounds, but I reckon she was hopin' she might run inter someone else at my house.' He winked at Harry. 'If yeh ask me, she wouldn' say no ter a signed –'**

If they'd found it impressive that Hermione would turn magenta, it was nothing compared to Ginny's flaming tomato-like blush. Harry felt for her.

'**Oh, shut up,' said Harry. Ron snorted with laughter and the ground was sprayed with slugs.**

"Oh, Ronnie!" sighed Mrs Weasley.

'**Watch it!' Hagrid roared, pulling Ron away from his precious pumpkins.**

**It was nearly lunchtime and as Harry had only had one bit of treacle toffee since dawn, he was keen to go back to school to eat. They said goodbye to Hagrid and walked back up to the castle, Ron hiccoughing occasionally, but only bringing up two, very small slugs.**

"Thank Merlin, it was subsiding by then!"

**They had barely set foot in the cool Entrance Hall when a voice rang out. 'There you are, Potter, Weasley.' Professor McGonagall was walking towards them, looking stern. **

"Why do you point it out?" said Fred.

"Yeah, she always looks stern!" said George.

McGonagall glared at them – sternly – and then glared at Sirius as if daring him to add anything. Sirius stared back at her blankly as he took several cookies Andromeda was offering him.

'**You will both do your detentions this evening.'**

"Ah, yes!" said Mrs Weasley, "You still have detention for acting so rashly and stupidly!"

"Thanks a lot for sounding so concerned, Mum!" Ron retorted sarcastically.

'**What are we doing, Professor?' said Ron, nervously suppressing a burp.**

'**You will be polishing the silver in the trophy room with Mr Filch,' said Professor McGonagall. 'And no magic, Weasley – elbow grease.'**

**Ron gulped. Argus Filch, the caretaker, was loathed by every student in the school.**

"Well, he loathes us, so no harm done," said Ron.

'**And you, Potter, will be helping Professor Lockhart answer his fan mail,' **

"That was just mean, Professor!" Harry groaned at the memory.

"Sorry, Potter," Professor McGonagall bowed her head.

"I'd rather have detention with Professor Snape!" said Harry, making the Potions' Master look at him in shock, "I know, I'm surprised too!"

Snape frowned.

**said Professor McGonagall.**

'**Oh no – can't I go and do the trophy room, too?' said Harry desperately.**

'**Certainly not,' said Professor McGonagall, raising her eyebrows. 'Professor Lockhart requested you particularly. **

"Bugger!"

"Harry!" Mrs Weasley, Mrs Tonks and Hermione protested, scandalised while the other laughed.

**Eight o'clock sharp, both of you.'**

**Harry and Ron slouched into the Great Hall in states of deepest gloom, Hermione behind them, wearing a well-you-did-break-school-rules sort of expression. Harry didn't fancy his shepherd's pie as much as he'd thought. Both he and Ron felt they'd got the worse deal.**

'**Filch'll have me there all night,' said Ron heavily. 'No magic! There must be about a hundred cups in that room. I'm no good at Muggle cleaning.'**

"You're no good a wizard cleaning either," said Fred.

"Although what's the difference until you're of age is beyond me," added George.

"Shut up!"

'**I'd swap any time,' said Harry hollowly. 'I've had loads of practice with the Dursleys. Answering Lockhart's fan mail … **

"I never thought I would thank the Dursleys for teaching me that," said Harry, "But I almost did that night!"

**he'll be a nightmare ...'**

**Saturday afternoon seemed to melt away, and in what seemed like no time, it was five minutes to eight, and Harry was dragging his feet along the second-floor corridor to Lockhart's office. He gritted his teeth and knocked.**

**The door flew open at once. Lockhart beamed down at him.**

'**Ah, here's the scallywag!' he said. 'Come in, Harry, come in.'**

**Shining brightly on the walls by the light of many candles were countless framed photographs of Lockhart. He had even signed a few of them. **

"I was very impressed with your office, Remus," said Harry, "You know, after witnessing this –"

**Another large pile lay on his desk.**

'**You can address the envelopes!' Lockhart told Harry, as though this was a huge treat. 'This first one's to Gladys Gudgeon, bless her – huge fan of mine.'**

**The minutes snailed by. Harry let Lockhart's voice wash over him, occasionally saying, 'Mmm' and 'Right' and 'Yeah'. Now and then he caught a phrase like 'Fame's a fickle friend, Harry' or 'Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that'.**

Hermione still couldn't believe how she'd been taken with him. Seeing him through Harry's eyes was a shock. Had Lockhart really been such a nightmare?

**The candles burned lower and lower, making the light dance over the many moving faces of Lockhart watching him. Harry moved his aching hand over what felt like the thousandth envelope, writing out Veronica Smethley's address. It must be nearly time to leave, Harry thought miserably, please let it be nearly time …**

Everyone laughed, "It seems you found the perfect punishment for male students, Minerva!" said Dumbledore.

**And then he heard something – something quite apart from the spitting of the dying candles and Lockhart's prattle about his fans.**

Harry paled. He remembered now.

He glanced at Ginny who looked back, as white as a sheet.

**It was a voice, a voice to chill the bone-marrow, a voice of breath-taking, ice-cold venom.**

'_**Come ... come to me ... let me rip you ... let me tear you ... let me kill you ...'**_

People throughout the room gasped, even those who knew the truth.

Sirius had immediately thought of the Dementors but they sucked out souls, they left you a shell of your former self, they didn't rip you or tear you.

Neville and the other students were terrified as well. They knew about Harry destroying the Basilisk but to hear about so early in the book was horrible.

Ginny was shaking.

**Harry gave a huge jump and a large lilac blot appeared on Veronica Smethley's street.**

'**What?' he said loudly.**

'**I know!' said Lockhart. 'Six solid months at the top of the bestseller list! Broke all records!'**

'**No,' said Harry frantically. 'That voice!'**

'**Sorry?' said Lockhart, looking puzzled. 'What voice?'**

'**That – that voice that said – didn't you hear it?'**

**Lockhart was looking at Harry in high astonishment. 'What are you talking about, Harry? Perhaps you're getting a little drowsy? Great Scott – look at the time! We've been here nearly four hours! I'd never have believed it – the time's flown, hasn't it?'**

"He didn't hear it?" asked Sirius anxiously. He was the least informed about those events as he'd been locked up in Azkaban and away from any source of information at the time.

Harry now thought little of the Chamber of Secrets incident but he could relate to his godfather's anxiety well, after all he'd experienced it first-hand throughout the school year.

**Harry didn't answer. He was straining his ears to hear the voice again, but there was no sound now except for Lockhart telling him he mustn't expect a treat like this every time he got detention. **

No one commented this, not even the twins.

**Feeling dazed, Harry left.**

**It was so late that the Gryffindor common room was almost empty. Harry went straight up to the dormitory. Ron wasn't back yet. Harry pulled on his pyjamas, got into bed and waited. Half an hour later, Ron arrived, nursing his right arm and bringing a strong smell of polish into the darkened room.**

'**My muscles have all seized up,' he groaned, sinking on his bed. 'Fourteen times he made me buff up that Quidditch Cup before he was satisfied. And then I had another slug attack all over a Special Award for Services to the School. Took ages to shift the slime ... How was it with Lockhart?'**

**Keeping his voice low so as not to wake Neville, Dean and Seamus, Harry told Ron exactly what he had heard.**

'**And Lockhart said he couldn't hear it?' said Ron. Harry could see him frowning in the moonlight. 'D'you think he was lying? But I don't get it – even someone invisible would've had to open the door.'**

'**I know,' said Harry, lying back in his four-poster and staring at the canopy above him. 'I don't get it, either.'**

The end of the chapter met a shocked silence when Charlie's voice trailed off, the voice challenge forgotten. This last part had been so terrifying that no one had the strength to say anything.

Harry looked up at Dumbledore, imploring him to do something to stop the others from being like this. After all, these events had already happened.

Dumbledore smiled at him and said evenly, "I'll read the next chapter, if you would be so kind as to give me the book, Charlie!"


	8. Chapter 8: The Deathday party

**Author's note****: I am still alive and I know, it's been a while since I last updated. I had many exams and I'm not done yet as I have another on Thursday. I apologise to those that were waiting on me. Thanks to anyone who reviewed, favourited or anything else! Thanks for your support! **

**Hope you enjoy**

**Zorina Black **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter or any recognisable reference to any song, video, book. Sadly, or I would be rich! **

"Will you do the voices, Professor Dumbledore?" asked Luna Lovegood, whose dreamy expression made her look like she was completely unfazed by what they had just read.

Maybe she is, thought Harry, it's not like she was as involved as we were...

"I most certainly will, Luna," said Dumbledore cheerfully, "Please be kind as you judge the acting skills of this old man!"

— **CHAPTER EIGHT —**

**The Deathday Party**

Ron rolled his eyes and Harry hid his face in his hands as Hermione sighed. With everything that had been going on that year, they had completely forgotten about Nearly-Headless Nick's Deathday Party.

**October arrived, spreading a damp chill over the grounds and into the castle. Madam Pomfrey, the matron, was kept busy by a sudden spate of colds among the staff and students. **

**Her Pepperup Potion worked instantly, though it left the drinker smoking at the ears for several hours afterwards. **

"Ah, that!" laughed Fred, "Do you remember Flitwick, George?"

"Indeed I do! It was the funniest lesson we had with him that year!"

**Ginny Weasley, who had been looking peaky, was bullied into taking some by Percy. The steam pouring from under her vivid hair gave the impression that her whole head was on fire.**

Percy looked awkwardly at his glaring sister. He'd only wanted to look out for her!

Ginny was blushing furiously at the mere memory. She couldn't believe Harry had to notice _that_ of all things!

**Raindrops the size of bullets thundered on the castle windows for days on end; the lake rose, the flowerbeds turned into muddy streams and Hagrid's pumpkins swelled to the size of garden sheds. **

"You must have been very pleased," Mrs Tonks observed with a smile.

Hagrid beamed, "I was!"

**Oliver Wood's enthusiasm for regular training sessions, however, was not dampened,**

"When has Oliver Wood's enthusiasm for regular training sessions ever been dampened?" asked Fred.

**which was why Harry was to be found, late one stormy Saturday afternoon a few days before Hallowe'en, returning to Gryffindor Tower, drenched to the skin and splattered with mud.**

**Even aside from the rain and wind it hadn't been a happy practice session. Fred and George, who had been spying on the Slytherin team, had seen for themselves the speed of those new Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones. They reported that the Slytherin team were no more than seven greenish blurs, shooting through the air like jump-jets.**

"Once again, Sirius, thanks for that Firebolt!" Harry exclaimed, remembering how angry he'd been at Malfoy's gloating.

"Harry, that's redundant," said Sirius but he was grinning broadly, "Stop thanking me for that Firebolt!"

Luna Lovegood smiled dreamily at Harry as well, "Malfoy might have had a better broom but you were always the better team! You never lost once! I'm in Ravenclaw but I don't care for Malfoy."

"I don't think they care for Malfoy in Slytherin either," said Neville darkly, "It's only because his dad is so rich and powerful..."

**As Harry squelched along the deserted corridor he came across somebody who looked just as preoccupied as he was. Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower, was staring morosely out of a window, muttering under his breath, '... don't fulfil their requirements ... half an inch, if that ...'**

'**Hello, Nick,' said Harry.**

'**Hello, hello,' said Nearly Headless Nick, starting and looking round. He wore a dashing, plumed hat on his long curly hair, and a tunic with a ruff, which concealed the fact that his neck was almost completely severed. He was pale as smoke, and Harry could see right through him to the dark sky and torrential rain outside.**

'**You look troubled, young Potter,' said Nick, folding a transparent letter as he spoke and tucking it inside his doublet.**

'**So do you,' said Harry.**

'**Ah,' Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant hand, 'a matter of no importance ... it's not as though I really wanted to join ... thought I'd apply, but apparently I "don't fulfil requirements".'**

**In spite of his airy tone, there was a look of great bitterness on his face.**

'**But you would think, wouldn't you,' he erupted suddenly, pulling the letter back out of his pocket, 'that getting hit fortyfive times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt?'**

'**Oh – yes,' said Harry, who was obviously supposed to agree.**

'**I mean, nobody wishes more than I do that it had all been quick and clean, and my head had come off properly, I mean, it would have saved me a great deal of pain and ridicule. However ...' Nearly Headless Nick shook his letter open and read furiously. 'We can only accept huntsmen whose heads have parted company with their bodies. You will appreciate that it would be impossible otherwise for members to participate in hunt activities such as Horseback Head-Juggling and Head Polo. It is with the greatest regret, therefore, that I must inform you that you do not fulfil our requirements. With very best wishes, Sir Patrick Delaney-Podmore.'**

**Fuming, Nearly Headless Nick stuffed the letter away.**

"That's his problem?" Sirius asked, "For Merlin's sake, Harry, you always end up in the weirdest situations!"

'**Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on, Harry! Most people would think that's good and beheaded, but oh no, it's not enough for Sir Properly Decapitated- Podmore.'**

"Poor Nick!" Andromeda sighed.

**Nearly Headless Nick took several deep breaths and then said, in a far calmer tone, 'So – what's bothering you? Anything I can do?'**

'**No,' said Harry. 'Not unless you know where we can get seven free Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones for our match against Sly—'**

**The rest of Harry's sentence was drowned by a high-pitched mewing from somewhere near his ankles. He looked down and found himself gazing into a pair of lamp-like yellow eyes. It was Mrs Norris, the skeletal grey cat who was used by the caretaker, Argus Filch, as a sort of deputy in his endless battle against students.**

"Aw, come on!" moaned Tonks.

'**You'd better get out of here, Harry,' said Nick quickly. 'Filch isn't in a good mood. **

"When is he ever?" asked Charlie.

**He's got flu and some third-years accidentally plastered frog brains all over the ceiling in dungeon five; he's been cleaning all morning, and if he sees you dripping mud all over the place ...'**

'**Right,' said Harry, backing away from the accusing stare of Mrs Norris, but not quickly enough. Drawn to the spot by the mysterious power that seemed to connect him with his foul cat, Argus Filch burst suddenly through a tapestry to Harry's right, wheezing and looking wildly about for the rule-breaker. There was a thick tartan scarf bound around his head, and his nose was unusually purple.**

Hermione wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Eww!"

"I know," said Tonks, "What a sight, right?" she turned to Dumbledore, "Why doesn't he take a vacation when he's sick? That's what normal people do!"

"That's the point, Tonks," said Charlie, "Filch is not normal!"

'**Filth!' he shouted, his jowls aquiver, his eyes popping alarmingly as he pointed at the muddy puddle that had dripped from Harry's Quidditch robes. 'Mess and muck everywhere! I've had enough of it, I tell you! Follow me, Potter!'**

"There's a _slight_ chance he's biased because of the trouble James and I made in school, too. Sorry, Harry," said Sirius.

**So Harry waved a gloomy goodbye to Nearly Headless Nick, and followed Filch back downstairs, doubling the number of muddy footprints on the floor.**

**Harry had never been inside Filch's office before; **

"And considering how much trouble you found yourself into during your first year, that's surprising!" commented Percy solemnly.

"Are you trying to make a joke, Perce?" demanded the twins in unison.

"I think he was just stating a fact," interjected Bill.

"Shut up!"

**it was a place most students avoided. The room was dingy and windowless, lit by a single oil lamp dangling from the low ceiling. A faint smell of fried fish lingered about the place.**

**Wooden filing cabinets stood around the walls; from their labels, Harry could see that they contained details of every pupil Filch had ever punished. Fred and George Weasley had an entire drawer to themselves. **

"Nice!" Sirius approved, nodding appreciatively at the twins, "James and I had one to ourselves as well!"

Fred and George beamed, although they still didn't know what to make of Sirius Black. It was true that Dumbledore had vouched for him and that had assured them that he was innocent of the crimes he'd been convicted of, and that Ron, Harry and Hermione seemed to know more than they were letting on, but everyone had believed Sirius Black guilty for so long that it was still hard not to be wary around him. Fred and George guessed they would have to wait for the following day to be sure that Sirius Black meant no harm, after all, Harry had said that everything would be clear when they had read the third book.

**A highly polished collection of chains and manacles hung on the wall behind Filch's desk. It was common knowledge that he was always begging Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling.**

**Filch grabbed a quill from a pot on his desk and began shuffling around looking for parchment.**

'**Dung,' he muttered furiously, 'great sizzling dragon bogies ... frog brains ... rat intestines ... I've had enough of it ... make an example ... where's the form ... yes ...'**

"You could do something about your classroom, Severus," said Dumbledore evenly, pausing for a moment.

Snape frowned at him, "What should I do about it, headmaster?" he hissed, "That's the caretaker's job!"

**He retrieved a large roll of parchment from his desk drawer and stretched it out in front of him, dipping his long black quill into the ink pot.**

'**Name ... Harry Potter. Crime ...'**

"Aw, come on!" moaned Tonks.

'**It was only a bit of mud!' said Harry.**

'**It's only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me it's an extra hour scrubbing!' shouted Filch, a drip shivering unpleasantly at the end of his bulbous nose. **

"Harry, why is it that you have to notice all these disgusting things?" Hermione asked wrinkling her nose while the other girls in the room protested as well.

'**Crime … befouling the castle ... suggested sentence ...'**

**Dabbing at his streaming nose, Filch squinted unpleasantly at Harry, who waited with bated breath for his sentence to fall.**

**But as Filch lowered his quill, there was a great BANG! on the ceiling of the office, which made the oil lamp rattle.**

'**PEEVES!' Filch roared, flinging down his quill in a transport of rage. 'I'll have you this time, I'll have you!'**

**And without a backwards glance at Harry, Filch ran flat-footed from the office, Mrs Norris streaking alongside him.**

**Peeves was the school poltergeist, a grinning, airborne menace who lived to cause havoc and distress. Harry didn't much like Peeves, but couldn't help feeling grateful for his timing. Hopefully, whatever Peeves had done (and it sounded as though he'd wrecked something very big this time) would distract Filch from Harry.**

**Thinking that he should probably wait for Filch to come back, **

"I would have run for it," commented Ted Tonks, "No one actually saw you go in his office, right?"

**Harry sank into a moth-eaten chair next to the desk.**

**There was only one thing on it apart from his half-completed form: a large, glossy, purple envelope with silver lettering on the front. With a quick glance at the door to check that Filch wasn't on his way back, Harry picked up the envelope and read:**

**KWIKSPELL**

**A Correspondence Course in Beginners' Magic **

"What?" grumbled someone interested by something so odd but Harry, who was paying his whole attention to Dumbledore as the headmaster read, could only recognise the voice as that of a man.

**Intrigued, Harry flicked the envelope open and pulled out the sheaf of parchment inside. **

"Of course," sighed Hermione, "Harry, for Heaven's sake, you're too curious! You're even going through people's mail now?"

"This is our second year, Hermione," Harry corrected his friend, "It's in the past!"

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "You wouldn't read it if it happened now?"

"Certainly not after I read what I read in that letter!" Harry said, "It was very awkward!" "And you're surprised that it was awkward after you'd read his mail?" Sirius asked.

"Shut up, Sirius!"

Sirius sniggered.

**More curly silver writing on the front page said:**

**Feel out of step in the world of modern magic? Find yourself making excuses not to perform simple spells? Ever been taunted for your woeful wand-work? There is an answer! Kwikspell is an all-new, fail-safe, quick-result, easy-learn course. Hundreds of witches and wizards have benefited from the Kwikspell method!**

**Madam Z. Nettles of Topsham writes:**

'**I had no memory for incantations and my potions were a family joke! Now, after a Kwikspell course, I am the centre of attention at parties and friends beg for the recipe of my Scintillation Solution!'**

**Warlock D.J. Prod of Didsbury says:**

'**My wife used to sneer at my feeble charms but one month into your fabulous Kwikspell course I succeeded in turning her into a yak! Thank you, Kwikspell!'**

"Sounds like a fraud to me!" said Ted Tonks.

"I agree," said Lupin, "If someone doesn't have magical powers, something like this is not going to work!"

"But why would Filch use something like this?" Ginny asked, forgetting her troubles for a moment.

"Mr Filch is a Squib, Miss Weasley," explained Professor McGonagall.

"A Squib?" Percy asked, noticing Harry, Ron and Hermione's guilty faces, "Well, that would explain his hatred of students. He's jealous!"

"But why stay in a magical school if he's a Squib?" asked Charlie, "I mean, if he wishes to be a wizard – and this letter definitely shows he wants to – then staying at Hogwarts must be pure hell!"

"I think Squibs still want to be around magic, even if they don't have magical powers," said Sirius, "Our great-uncle Marius used to work at Flourish and Blotts, do you remember, Andromeda?"

"Indeed!" Andromeda nodded, "He tried living in the Muggle world but, having being raised in a pure-blood family, it wasn't easy for him to let go of magic, even if he didn't have any powers!"

"I don't know," Ron mumbled thoughtfully, "It still doesn't make any sense to me."

**Fascinated, Harry thumbed through the rest of the envelope's contents. Why on earth did Filch want a Kwikspell course? Did this mean he wasn't a proper wizard? Harry was just reading 'Lesson One: Holding Your Wand (Some Useful Tips)' when shuffling footsteps outside told him Filch was coming back. Stuffing the parchment back into the envelope, Harry threw it back onto the desk just as the door opened.**

**Filch was looking triumphant.**

'**That vanishing cabinet was extremely valuable!' he was saying gleefully to Mrs Norris. 'We'll have Peeves out this time, my sweet.'**

**His eyes fell on Harry and then darted to the Kwikspell envelope which, Harry realised too late, was lying two feet away from where it had started.**

"For Heaven's sake, Harry, you lack basic stealth skills!" Fred reprimanded.

"I would say that's a good thing!" retorted his mother.

**Filch's pasty face went brick red. Harry braced himself for a tidal wave of fury. Filch hobbled across to his desk, snatched up the envelope and threw it into a drawer.**

'**Have you – did you read –?' he spluttered.**

'**No,' Harry lied quickly.**

**Filch's knobbly hands were twisting together. 'If I thought you'd read my private ... not that it's mine … for a friend ... be that as it may ... however ...'**

**Harry was staring at him, alarmed; Filch had never looked madder. His eyes were popping, a tic was going in one of his pouchy cheeks and the tartan scarf didn't help.**

'**Very well ... go ... and don't breathe a word ... not that … however, if you didn't read ... go now, I have to write up Peeves' report ... go ...'**

"Wicked!" exclaimed George, "He didn't punish you!"

**Amazed at his luck, Harry sped out of the office, up the corridor and back upstairs. To escape from Filch's office without punishment was probably some kind of school record.**

'**Harry! Harry! Did it work?'**

**Nearly Headless Nick came gliding out of a classroom.**

**Behind him, Harry could see the wreckage of a large black and gold cabinet which appeared to have been dropped from a great height.**

'**I persuaded Peeves to crash it right over Filch's office,' said Nick eagerly. 'Thought it might distract him –'**

"That was Nick!?" shouted Sirius in delight that his godson had managed to get out of trouble, "He's still as great as ever!"

'**Was that you?' said Harry gratefully. 'Yeah, it worked, I didn't even get detention. Thanks, Nick!'**

**They set off up the corridor together. Nearly Headless Nick, Harry noticed, was still holding Sir Patrick's rejection letter.**

'**I wish there was something I could do for you about the Headless Hunt,' Harry said.**

**Nearly Headless Nick stopped in his tracks and Harry walked right through him. He wished he hadn't; it was like stepping through an icy shower.**

'**But there is something you could do for me,' said Nick excitedly. 'Harry – would I be asking too much – but no, you wouldn't want –'**

'**What is it?' said Harry.**

'**Well, this Hallowe'en will be my five hundredth deathday,' **

"Deathday?" asked Luna interested, "Is it the equivalent of a birthday?"

"Yes," Harry said, "And I am going to regret making Nick bring that up!"

**said Nearly Headless Nick, drawing himself up and looking dignified.**

'**Oh,' said Harry, not sure whether he should look sorry or happy about this. 'Right.'**

'**I'm holding a party down in one of the roomier dungeons. **

"What?" hissed Snape, "He held a party in the dungeons?"

"He asked for my permission, Severus," said Dumbledore evenly, "Don't worry, it was not held in your classroom!"

"Wait a minute!" Snape seemed not to have heard the headmaster as he rounded on Harry and his friends, "Is that where you were when –?"

"Yes, that's why we weren't at the Halloween party," Harry said hastily, seeing Ginny's face pale drastically again. He didn't want for her to remember what had happened that year if it wasn't necessary. Of course, she would have to think about it, even relive it as the reading of this book went on but Harry wasn't going to bring it up himself or letting anyone mention it.

Sirius frowned in confusion, noticing of Harry's suspicious behaviour. He knew his godson didn't want to spoil the book but it seemed, if he had interpreted the behaviour of those who had lived those months at Hogwarts, that something very dangerous had taken happened. Hell, the mere title and reference to the legend of the Chamber of Secrets was enough to know that something dangerous was going to happen.

Knowing he wouldn't get any answers from anyone if he asked questions, Sirius waited for Dumbledore to go on.

**Friends will be coming from all over the country. It would be such an honour if you would attend. Mr Weasley and Miss Granger would be most welcome too, of course – but I dare say you'd rather go to the school feast?' He watched Harry on tenterhooks.**

'**No,' said Harry quickly, 'I'll come –'**

'**My dear boy! Harry Potter, at my Deathday Party! And,' he hesitated, looking excited, 'do you think you could possibly mention to Sir Patrick how very frightening and impressive you find me?'**

'**Of – of course,' said Harry.**

**Nearly Headless Nick beamed at him.**

"I hate you, Harry," Ron said moodily, shaking his head.

'**A Deathday Party?' said Hermione keenly, when Harry had changed at last and joined her and Ron in the common room. 'I bet there aren't many living people who can say they've been to one of those – it'll be fascinating!'**

Ron rolled his eyes, throwing his hands in the air in despair.

'**Why would anyone want to celebrate the day they died?' said Ron, who was halfway through his Potions homework and grumpy. **

Snape glared at him.

"I wouldn't be that grumpy if you were nicer to us, Professor Snape!" Ron exploded, knowing that with the other adults there Snape couldn't do anything nasty to him. Plus, it was the holidays, so Snape had no power to give him detention!

'**Sounds dead depressing to me ...'**

"I agree!" Fred and George said.

"I actually agree with both Ron and Hermione," said Sirius, "I mean, it's odd to celebrate your death but not many living people have the chance to witness a gathering of ghosts of this sort!"

"Actually after that experience," Hermione said surprising everyone, "I do agree with Ron. We would have done much better to go to the feast!"

**Rain was still lashing the windows, which were now inky black, but inside, all looked bright and cheerful. The firelight glowed over the countless squashy armchairs where people sat reading, talking, doing homework or, in the case of Fred and George Weasley, trying to find out what would happen if you fed a Filibuster Firework to a Salamander.**

"Fred! George!" reprimanded their mother unnecessarily.

**Fred had 'rescued' the brilliant orange, fire-dwelling lizard from a Care of Magical Creatures class and it was now smouldering gently on a table surrounded by a knot of curious people.**

**Harry was on the point of telling Ron and Hermione about Filch and the Kwikspell course when the Salamander suddenly whizzed into the air, emitting loud sparks and bangs as it whirled wildly round the room. The sight of Percy bellowing himself hoarse at Fred and George, the spectacular display of tangerine stars showering from the Salamander's mouth, and its escape into the fire, with accompanying explosions, drove both Filch and the Kwikspell envelope from Harry's mind.**

"Glad to entertain you, Harry," Percy said sarcastically.

His siblings were shocked that he was making a joke but he actually looked upset that no one took him seriously.

**By the time Hallowe'en arrived, Harry was regretting his rash promise to go to the Deathday Party. The rest of the school were happily anticipating their Hallowe'en feast; the Great Hall had been decorated with the usual live bats, Hagrid's vast pumpkins had been carved into lanterns large enough for three men to sit in and there were rumours that Dumbledore had booked a troupe of dancing skeletons for the entertainment.**

"You never did that when Charlie and I were at Hogwarts!" protested Tonks. She would have liked to see a group of dancing skeletons.

'**A promise is a promise,' Hermione reminded Harry bossily. 'You said you'd go to the Deathday Party.'**

Harry raised his eyebrows at Hermione who blushed. She regretted going to the party too.

**So, at seven o'clock, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked straight past the doorway to the packed Great Hall, which was glittering invitingly with gold plates and candles, and directed their steps instead towards the dungeons.**

**The passageway leading to Nearly Headless Nick's party had been lined with candles too, though the effect was far from cheerful: these were long, thin, jet-black tapers, all burning bright blue, casting a dim, ghostly light even over their own living faces. The temperature dropped with every step they took. As Harry shivered and drew his robes tightly around him, he heard what sounded like a thousand fingernails scraping an enormous blackboard.**

"Huh?"

"That's the music, Bill," said Ron tiredly.

"Seriously?"

'**Is that supposed to be music?' Ron whispered. They turned a corner and saw Nearly Headless Nick standing at a doorway hung with black velvet drapes.**

'**My dear friends,' he said mournfully, **

"Mournfully?" Mrs Weasley asked, "I'll never understand ghosts! I thought he was celebrating!"

'**welcome, welcome ... so pleased you could come ...'**

**He swept off his plumed hat and bowed them inside.**

**It was an incredible sight. The dungeon was full of hundreds of pearly-white, translucent people, mostly drifting around a crowded dance floor, waltzing to the dreadful, quavering sound of thirty musical saws, played by an orchestra on a black-draped platform. A chandelier overhead blazed midnight blue with a thousand more black candles. Their breath rose in a mist before them; it was like stepping into a freezer.**

"What's a freezer?" Mr Weasley asked immediately.

His wife was going to shut him up but her children, Andromeda and Sirius looked very interested too, so she let Hermione explain that it was a Muggle device to preserve food.

'**Shall we have a look around?' Harry suggested, wanting to warm up his feet.**

'**Careful not to walk through anyone,' said Ron nervously, and they set off around the edge of the dance floor. They passed a group of gloomy nuns, a ragged man wearing chains, and the Fat Friar, a cheerful Hufflepuff ghost, who was talking to a knight with an arrow sticking out of his forehead. Harry wasn't surprised to see that the Bloody Baron, a gaunt, staring Slytherin ghost covered in silver bloodstains, was being given a wide berth by the other ghosts.**

'**Oh no,' said Hermione, stopping abruptly. 'Turn back, turn back, I don't want to talk to Moaning Myrtle –'**

"Oh, not Moaning Myrtle!" Ginny, Tonks and even Luna moaned, feeling Hermione's pain. Even Mrs Weasley and Mrs Tonks didn't bother reprimand the girls for such a display.

'**Who?' said Harry, as they backtracked quickly.**

'**She haunts the girls' toilet on the first floor,' said Hermione.**

'**She haunts a toilet?'**

"She did die there," Hermione reminded Harry.

"I had no idea, Hermione," Harry said sarcastically, "No idea at all!"

'**Yes. It's been out of order all year because she keeps having tantrums and flooding the place. I never went in there anyway if I could avoid it, it's awful trying to go to the loo with her wailing at you –'**

'**Look, food!' said Ron.**

"Way to change the subject, Ron!" Charlie grinned.

**On the other side of the dungeon was a long table, also covered in black velvet. They approached it eagerly, but next moment had stopped in their tracks, horrified. The smell was quite disgusting. Large, rotten fish were laid on handsome silver platters; cakes, burned charcoal black, were heaped on salvers; there was a great maggoty haggis, a slab of cheese covered in furry green mould and, in pride of place, an enormous grey cake in the shape of a tombstone, with tar-like icing forming the words,**

**Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington**

**died 31st October, 1492**

**Harry watched, amazed, as a portly ghost approached the table, crouched low and walked through it, his mouth held wide so that it passed through one of the stinking salmon.**

"Odd," commented Luna dreamily as usual, "Though ghosts are such fascinating beings!"

"They are," Ginny agreed, nodding her head, "They are indeed, especially when they do odd things like this!"

'**Can you taste it if you walk through it?' Harry asked him.**

'**Almost,' said the ghost sadly, and he drifted away.**

'**I expect they've let it rot to give it a stronger flavour,' said Hermione knowledgeably, pinching her nose and leaning closer to look at the putrid haggis.**

'**Can we move? I feel sick,' said Ron.**

"And you weren't the only one!" retorted Hermione, having forgotten to say something at the time.

**They had barely turned around, however, when a little man swooped suddenly from under the table and came to a halt in mid-air before them.**

'**Hello, Peeves,' said Harry cautiously.**

**Unlike the ghosts around them, Peeves the poltergeist was the very reverse of pale and transparent. He was wearing a bright orange party hat, a revolving bow-tie and a broad grin on his wide, wicked face.**

'**Nibbles?' he said sweetly, offering them a bowl of peanuts covered in fungus.**

'**No thanks,' said Hermione.**

'**Heard you talking about poor Myrtle,' said Peeves, his eyes dancing. 'Rude you was about poor Myrtle.'**

Fred, George and Sirius, ever the troublemakers, had understood how Peeves' mind worked long ago. What the Poltergeist was about to do was quite obvious to them.

**He took a deep breath and bellowed, 'OY! MYRTLE!'**

'**Oh, no, Peeves, don't tell her what I said, she'll be really upset,' Hermione whispered frantically. 'I didn't mean it, I don't mind her – er, hello, Myrtle.'**

**The squat ghost of a girl had glided over. She had the glummest face Harry had ever seen, half-hidden behind lank hair and thick, pearly spectacles.**

Everyone grimaced. No one really liked Myrtle.

'**What?' she said sulkily.**

'**How are you, Myrtle?' said Hermione, in a falsely bright voice. 'It's nice to see you out of the toilet.'**

**Myrtle sniffed.**

'**Miss Granger was just talking about you –' said Peeves slyly in Myrtle's ear.**

'**Just saying – saying – how nice you look tonight,' said Hermione, glaring at Peeves.**

**Myrtle eyed Hermione suspiciously.**

'**You're making fun of me,' she said, silver tears welling rapidly in her small, see-through eyes.**

'**No – honestly – didn't I just say how nice Myrtle's looking?' said Hermione, nudging Harry and Ron painfully in the ribs.**

'**Oh, yeah ...'**

'**She did ...'**

'**Don't lie to me,' Myrtle gasped, tears now flooding down her face, while Peeves chuckled happily over her shoulder.**

'**D'you think I don't know what people call me behind my back? Fat Myrtle! Ugly Myrtle! Miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle!'**

'**You've missed out "spotty",' Peeves hissed in her ear.**

**Moaning Myrtle burst into anguished sobs and fled from the dungeon. Peeves shot after her, pelting her with mouldy peanuts, yelling, 'Spotty! Spotty!'**

"Poor Myrtle!" Andromeda sighed.

"Peeves is evil!" Ginny said but soon laughed along with her brothers.

Despite the fact that he didn't like Myrtle that much either, Harry felt bad for her. However, he didn't bother telling anyone. They would know what had happened to her soon enough.

'**Oh, dear,' said Hermione sadly.**

**Nearly Headless Nick now drifted towards them through the crowd.**

'**Enjoying yourselves?'**

'**Oh, yes,' they lied.**

"You are very lucky Nick is not here, you know," Luna said, "What would he say if he were to find out you lied to him?"

Harry didn't want to think about it.

'**Not a bad turnout,' said Nearly Headless Nick proudly. 'The Wailing Widow came all the way up from Kent ... It's nearly time for my speech, I'd better go and warn the orchestra ...'**

**The orchestra, however, stopped playing at that very moment. **

"Thank Merlin, if it was as bad as you said," Neville commented and the others nodded.

**They, and everyone else in the dungeon, fell silent, looking around in excitement, as a hunting horn sounded.**

'**Oh, here we go,' said Nearly Headless Nick bitterly.**

**Through the dungeon wall burst a dozen ghost horses, each ridden by a headless horseman. The assembly clapped wildly; Harry started to clap too, but stopped quickly at the sight of Nick's face.**

**The horses galloped into the middle of the dance floor and halted, rearing and plunging; a large ghost at the front, whose bearded head was under his arm, blowing the horn, leapt down, lifted his head high in the air so he could see over the crowd (everyone laughed) and strode over to Nearly Headless Nick, squashing his head back onto his neck.**

'**Nick!' he roared. 'How are you? Head still hanging in there?'**

**He gave a hearty guffaw and clapped Nearly Headless Nick on the shoulder.**

'**Welcome, Patrick,' said Nick stiffly.**

"Oh!" McGonagall exclaimed, "This is the ghost who rejected his application for the Headless Hunt, isn't it?"

Harry nodded.

'**Live 'uns!' said Sir Patrick, spotting Harry, Ron and Hermione and giving a huge, fake jump of astonishment, so that his head fell off again (the crowd howled with laughter). **

'**Very amusing,' said Nearly Headless Nick darkly.**

'**Don't mind Nick!' shouted Sir Patrick's head from the floor. 'Still upset we won't let him join the Hunt! But I mean to say – look at the fellow –'**

'**I think,' said Harry hurriedly, at a meaningful look from Nick, 'Nick's very – frightening and – er –'**

"I told you you did that wrong!" said Ron, rolling his eyes.

"And I told you should have practised that!" Hermione added.

Harry glared at them but they were right so he didn't have any good response for their remarks.

'**Ha!' yelled Sir Patrick's head. 'Bet he asked you to say that!'**

Everyone laughed. Poor, poor Nick!

'**If I could have everyone's attention, it's time for my speech!' said Nearly Headless Nick loudly, striding towards the podium and climbing into an icy-blue spotlight. 'My late lamented lords, ladies and gentlemen, it is my great sorrow ...'**

**But nobody heard much more. Sir Patrick and the rest of the Headless Hunt had just started a game of Head Hockey and the crowd were turning to watch. Nearly Headless Nick tried vainly to recapture his audience, but gave up as Sir Patrick's head went sailing past him to loud cheers.**

Even Fred and George were serious. They found Sir Patrick rather amusing too but they would never draw the attention to themselves at someone else's party. Help lighten the mood yes, but what Sir Patrick was doing, especially egging on the rest of the Headless Hunt, was just mean and it was ruining Nick's party. The Gryffindors all liked Nick and it was upsetting to see him having his party ruined, even more knowing how much it had meant to him.

**Harry was very cold by now, not to mention hungry.**

'**I can't stand much more of this,' Ron muttered, his teeth chattering, as the orchestra ground back into action and the ghosts swept back onto the dance floor.**

'**Let's go,' Harry agreed.**

**They backed towards the door, nodding and beaming at anyone who looked at them, and a minute later were hurrying back up the passageway full of black candles. **

"I'm surprised it took you so long to leave!" said Tonks.

'**Pudding might not be finished yet,' said Ron hopefully, leading the way towards the steps to the Entrance Hall.**

**And then Harry heard it.**

'**... rip ... tear ... kill ...'**

A stunned, frightened silence filled the room. Those who weren't aware of all that had happened that year – namely Sirius, Remus and the Tonkses – were shocked and confused. The others had paled at the mere mention of those events but no one was a pale as Ginny, who, of course, had had the worst time that year. Worse, maybe, even than Harry, who smiled encouragingly at the youngest Weasley as her mother held her protectively.

It was very upsetting to remember the anxiety he'd felt all through that year and he could only imagine what Ginny was going through.

**It was the same voice, the same cold, murderous voice he had heard in Lockhart's office.**

**He stumbled to a halt, clutching at the stone wall, listening with all his might, looking around, squinting up and down the dimly lit passageway.**

'**Harry, what're you –?'**

'**It's that voice again – shut up a minute –'**

'**... soo hungry ... for so long ...'**

'**Listen!' said Harry urgently, and Ron and Hermione froze, watching him.**

'**... kill ... time to kill ...'**

"What the hell is happening!?" Sirius finally shouted, having snapped out of his shock, "Whose voice is that? Killing at Hogwarts?"

No one answered, mesmerised as they all were as Dumbledore kept reading.

**The voice was growing fainter. Harry was sure it was moving away – moving upwards. A mixture of fear and excitement gripped him as he stared at the dark ceiling; how could it be moving upwards? Was it a phantom, to whom stone ceilings didn't matter?**

'**This way,' he shouted, and he began to run, up the stairs, into the Entrance Hall. It was no good hoping to hear anything here, the babble of talk from the Hallowe'en feast was echoing out of the Great Hall. Harry sprinted up the marble staircase to the first floor, Ron and Hermione clattering behind him.**

'**Harry, what are we –'**

'**SHH!'**

**Harry strained his ears. Distantly, from the floor above, and growing fainter still, he heard the voice: '... I smell blood ... I SMELL BLOOD!'**

**His stomach lurched. 'It's going to kill someone!' he shouted, and ignoring Ron and Hermione's bewildered faces, he ran up the next flight of steps three at a time, trying to listen over his own pounding footsteps.**

**Harry hurtled around the whole of the second floor, Ron and Hermione panting behind him, not stopping until they turned a corner into the last, deserted passage.**

'**Harry, what was that all about?' said Ron, wiping sweat off his face. 'I couldn't hear anything ...'**

**But Hermione gave a sudden gasp, pointing down the corridor. 'Look!'**

**Something was shining on the wall ahead. They approached, slowly, squinting through the darkness. Foot-high words had been daubed on the wall between two windows, shimmering in the light cast by the flaming torches.**

**THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED.**

**ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE.**

Ginny was shaking by now, tears forming in her eyes. How could have she been this stupid and confide in that diary?!

Her mother held her closer and Ginny buried her face in her chest. Her father patted his daughter's back comfortingly.

'**What's that thing – hanging underneath?' said Ron, a slight quiver in his voice.**

**As they edged nearer, Harry almost slipped over: there was a large puddle of water on the floor. Ron and Hermione grabbed him, and they inched towards the message, eyes fixed on a dark shadow beneath it. All three of them realised what it was at once, and leapt backwards with a splash.**

**Mrs Norris, the caretaker's cat, was hanging by her tail from the torch bracket. She was stiff as a board, her eyes wide and staring.**

No one liked Mrs Norris, but an attack on that cat meant that whoever had done this was cruel and remorseless.

**For a few seconds, they didn't move. Then Ron said, 'Let's get out of here.'**

'**Shouldn't we try and help –' Harry began awkwardly. **

'**Trust me,' said Ron. 'We don't want to be found here.'**

Still pale and worried, even though Harry had saved his children and the entire school, Arthur Weasley nodded his approval at his youngest son. Ron often goofed around but he clearly knew how to keep calm in a dangerous situation such as this. And Arthur was proud of him for that, very proud indeed!

**But it was too late. A rumble, as though of distant thunder, told them that the feast had just ended. From either end of the corridor where they stood came the sound of hundreds of feet climbing the stairs, and the loud, happy talk of well-fed people; next moment, students were crashing into the passage from both ends. The chatter, the bustle, the noise died suddenly as the people in front spotted the hanging cat. Harry, Ron and Hermione stood alone, in the middle of the corridor, as silence fell among the mass of students, pressing forward to see the grisly sight.**

**Then someone shouted through the quiet.**

'**Enemies of the heir, beware! You'll be next, Mudbloods!'**

**It was Draco Malfoy. He had pushed to the front of the crowd, his cold eyes alive, his usually bloodless face flushed, as he grinned at the sight of the hanging, immobile cat.**

Dumbledore lowered the book solemnly.

No one commented on Malfoy's behaviour. What had happened was much worse and only someone as idiotic as Draco could react like that. Unless – Andromeda and Sirius exchanged a dark look – Draco knew something. Neither Andromeda or Sirius would put it past the Malfoys to be involved in this.

"Who would like to read next?" Dumbledore asked gently, "Miss Weasley, perhaps?"

Ginny shook her head, pressing her face even further into her mother's embrace.

"I'll read," Tonks answered, unnaturally grave.


End file.
